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She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 8:14 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
THIS.
Well, I do, but I figure "Fuck Off!" is not what you're looking for.
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
survivor_kh ( member #33738) posted at 8:18 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
Not my exact advice, but here's another option.
Approach dd18 calmly and give her permission to allow her father to buy the dress.
The vibe I'm getting from this is that gf and dd18 constructed this plan somewhat together. she wants the dress. gf wants to look cool. dd18 isnt mature enough to realize that you will see through their strategy. One way or another, Im sure they both really want her to get that dress.
Either don't respond to the email at all, or respond and say "I will discuss this with dd, thank you. I probably wouldnt even mention to whole coffee invitation.
Short and sweet baby.
Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou
you is kind, you is smart, you is important
survivor_kh ( member #33738) posted at 8:27 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
Also, if you feel so inclined, give a hint to dd that you are more quick witted than what she thinks. dont mention the email from gf to her. say something to her about the tumultuousness of mother-daughter relationships, and how mothers have an intuition unlike that of anyone else, and are quite perceptive and observant when it comes to the wants and behaviors of their children....and sometimes of others too.
my mom used to make "general" statements like this. scared the hell out of me.
[This message edited by survivor_kh at 2:29 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]
Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou
you is kind, you is smart, you is important
ImNellNow ( member #28753) posted at 12:23 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
^^^^^ OMG survivor! I just relived the morning my dad (the trained mediator) sat 17-year-old me down at the kitchen table and faux-casually asked, "So, Nell, what time did you get home last night?" 
I seriously need a healthy pour of scotch right now. Second-to-worst moment of my life!
BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.
Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 1:11 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
Thank you everyone! You have given me a lot to think about.
I haven't answered the email yet, and feel no overwhelming urge to do so right now. Perhaps that is my answer.
Anyway, Thanks for having my back and I appreciate everyone's time on this.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
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