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Phoenix1 (original poster member #38928) posted at 6:59 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
I took off the last several days of work to get his shit packed and out of the house (we have a trailer we use for storage and I took everything out of it in order to put his stuff in it). First, I kept thinking this is absolute BS that I am physically killing myself doing this (he is a hoarder and has a lot of crap). My back went out, I am covered in bruises, and simply exhausted after five days of this. All the while he is doing nothing. I keep telling myself it is the big picture of getting his shit out of the house that is important, even at my expense. But during all this I was dwelling on everything that has happened and I can't stop wondering what I have done to deserve both this and his obvious hatred after all our years together. I know. He is broken, I didn't do anything, and there will never be an explanation. But that doesn't stop me from dwelling on it. I gave that rat bastard the best years of my life and here I am at almost 50 years old with nothing to show for working 30 years because of him and faced with starting over. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand, and it really puts me in despair. Just a really bad night after five horrifically exhausting days... God this sucks... 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 7:06 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
Me too, sister. I'm packing all his shit, forced to start my life over completely. I'm angry and I'm shaking in my boots with fear.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 8:13 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
(((Phoenix1 & Nature_Girl)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 9:33 AM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013
I did this too, it was the only way I get his crap out of my house and life for good. My XWH was a hoarder too, my house was so empty it echoed afterwards.
Keep focused on the bigger picture.
hugs guys it does get easier.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
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