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Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 2:31 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
Npd-x has a ruined his relationship with my younger DD16. She is his scapegoat and has been since she was 9. She is hurt and angry, but holds it together most of the time.
DD seldoms goes to his house because of this, but his house is very close to her school. One would think he would welcome visits for food and such.
His GF just moved in 6 months ago. Yesterday was one of the pop in moments. Her sister was there and the 2 had a good visit.
GF snarls at her, "Don't use this place as a pit stop. If you want to come here you need to stay overnight every now and then."
This really hurt my DD. Atleast NPD never says that out loud. DD talked with NPD and he said GF had had a bad day....yeah 40 something bitch take it out on a hurting kid.......
DD asked her dad who are you going to pick me or your gf? And sadly she already knows the answer.
[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 11:50 PM, May 17th (Friday)]
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 3:47 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
Geez, GF sounds like a real bitch. Talk about overstepping your boundaries. NPD should tell her to back the hell off and watch her mouth, but, well, the NPD thing gets in the way there.
Lots of hugs to you and your kids. Sounds like you have the majority of the time, so you will have the majority of influence in their life 
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 5:38 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
Sad to say, this sounds almost identical to ex-asshat and his newish wife (not OW). They never turn the bananas away - they always say they love them and want to see them - but they're pretty snarky and mean to them at times, plus they don't spend much one-on-one time with them.
I wish I had the answer - I'm struggling with how to handle this - but I wanted to let you know I totally get it.
Poor kids. If only their fathers knew what they were doing to them and their relationship with them.
(((Chrys)))
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:09 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
What an incredibly mean thing to say. 
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 6:50 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
Holy shit, Chrys! Who treats a kid like that?
9 is still just so little!
Your daughter is lucky to have a stable, loving mother to counteract this asshattery.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 2:00 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
DD is now 16, and even before this did not like GF. Said she is controlling.
I keep praying that my sweet DD learns to KNOW that this messed up behavior is not due to her.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:46 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Wow. What a shitty thing to say. (((((DD))))) My heart hurts for your DD.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 1:42 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Chrysalis,
BTDT, X's NW (new wife/narc wife take your pick) has said the same things to my girls.
Then eventually stopped making the stop to see them. Now when DD1 (lives out of state) decides to go, she is basically ignored. His sister was also ignored when she visited for Christmas. His parents also.
When my girls saw them behaving the same way with the rest of his family.. they realized it wasn't them or their family. It was the NPD mindset.
Hugs for your DD and for you, it's hard to watch.
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
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