SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not much. He never bought it anything. OW paid for the majority of the hotel rooms, sometimes FWH pitched in.

(((letitout))) I am so sorry that is so awful. Is your WH working? He needs to get a part time job on the side to pay off his debt and build your savings back up.

Mine spent well in excess of $200,000 on 4 women in just the last year alone. Trips, gifts, hotels, jewelry. We have alot but he sure spent alot of it.

He killed himself last year when he had pretty much gone through his half of the cash on hand and knew if I found him taking any more that I would put him in jail.

So I have all of it now and I am glad that something stopped the bleeding, although I don't approve of his choice.

My STBX is no Don Juan. The occasional Applebees, pizza or diner meal was about as good as it got for her. He bought me a few random guilt-gifts (no big ticket items just things to show me how much he cares. Pfft!) She pretty much split as soon as STBX and I physically separated just a couple of weeks into their full-blown affair.

He was busy spending loads of money on himself though! Since his EA began he put himself in about $25,000 worth of debt. I wonder if the single life has been everything he dreamed of? No sex, no money, no love! A dream come true!!!

You don't know how lucky you are. My WH had an OC, so his affair has cost him hundreds of thousands.

Nothing. OW paid for absolutely everything.

Apparently she was absent the day they discussed financial arrangements at whore school.

Hugs to you all, dealing with the WS's fallout from their cheating, financial and emotional.

Xpos had a separate bank account, so I really have no idea of a total, but know it ran into thousands.

We had a joint credit card that I didn't use, but found some old bills after he left. He spent hundreds at a time to PayPal, likely for the porn dating sites he frequented to find his sluts displayed in all their glory. Then there were airline tickets, rooms, meals, sex toy shops, viagra, a resort weekend, etc. Plus, he was spending $40 to $50 every 3 or 4 days on minutes for his tracphone to talk with them according to the financial paperwork he submitted to the court.

But as others have said, he saved by not using condoms!

Since I'm now sure that he was doing it much longer than he has admitted, who knows?? Those items only include the ones I know about and he has admitted to.

He killed himself last year when he had pretty much gone through his half of the cash on hand

I have no idea what WH did or spent his money on before he sobered up. I didn't even know about him frequenting bars until last night. The way I caught him was a $2,000 unexplained charge on a bank account without my name on it. I knew about the account and the statements came to the house but I didn't pay attention to it because it was only opened to get a line of credit for the business. I don't know what made me look at the statement that month. He was always asking me where all the money went. Now, I have to wonder, where did it go? I know we have been able to pay our bills on time since WH sobered up.

I'm so sorry you have to have that hanging over you for 3 years, what a great reminder to have. (said very sarcasticly)

I have NO clue how much WH spent, he claims barely nothing, they didn't usually go anywhere except her car. But we were living with my parents for the first 6 months of his A and yet we never had any money. So I would guess he spend at least 500-1000 a month. But again I could be way off either way.

I know of about $5-6K. I'm sure there is more --but it doesn't matter anymore.

whg

He spent several hundred that I was aware of-- I have no idea what he spent in cash or if he had a secret credit card. He also likely spent a lot of money on gas since they'd meet to screw at the midway point between our two towns (about an hour's drive one way). It could have been a lot more, but once I knew I wanted a D, I stopped digging. He didn't wipe out any accounts or put us into debt, so I just did what I could to get the heck out of there with as decent a financial settlement as I could get (before he started wiping the bank accounts out).

Mine was also kind enough to save money by not using condoms as well! They're so thoughtful, aren't they?

(((((((doggiemom)))))))))

This is so sad. I know of another man that did this as a result of his guilt. Impossibly hard to deal with.

SAfWH spent thousands. I estimate an average of $600 a month for 10 years or so. What I had proof of was statements showing $3000 for each of 3 months. I don't think even he knows how much. Fortunately, it didn't bankrupt us, I make as much as he does and I kept a close eye. But, I and my kids, lived within a budget, he didn't, nor did his whores. Still burns.

Not nearly the amount he has spent since I found out.

Italy trip

New House

3 new cars

IC - Me

IC - Him

MC - Us

Gifts

I take it all. Be very clear, that is not why I stayed. But, the cost after finding out about what he was doing was much more devastating & crushing than the money he spent on her little high school tokens and hotels.

I don't have accurate accounting either, but it's a lot, lot, lot!

Until it became a big trigger, I did find at least one account that got shut down by it's creditor because he charged and charged and couldn't pay...and it was a time in the year when I got nothing like the store sells from him.

The money for fuel, food, expenses alone for his double life have got to be staggering and he is now complaining of lack of money.

While I fear for us who depend on that money, I do not have any feeling except the word "Stupid" or swears. He also bought a vehicle while unemployed that goes back and forth that he did not have to, so there is no pity there.

When I mentioned a credit card or two that came in the mail he suddenly announced that he was changing his mail.

STBXH has not been employed for a long time and I've wondered how it's tolerated in Never Land? And I wonder how the tolerance is for the promises of big money to come...but it's not getting there.

I don't even want to think about how much money he spent on prostitutes over the last nine years. I think of all the times I wore holy underwear or the kids went without but he still had money to pay skanky whores for sex. He claims that he never spent more than $100 on his whores like that makes it better because they were cheap whores I guess I should just be thankfulthat I didn't get a disease.

I know of one time he sent something to her address. He asked me if he could send her daughter a birthday gift. Sense she used her as a way to get back into contact with him. It wasn't much, but now I am not sure if it was for the daughter or actually for 0W2. Not sure about OW1. He was going to take her out for a movie but she turned him down. I think at least.

My stbx since last October has borrowed 70k and taken 20k out of his retirement THAT I KNOW OF. There could me be more.

When I see him around drop off and pick up of our DD, I feel so bad. He seems so normal. I can't help but feel rejected by him. Why doesn't he want me? and then I think about the money and remember that there is something wrong with him.

Over 15 years I calculate over $100 K on hotels, $60K on dinners and over $30 K on booze that they drank at the office. This does not include gifts (there weren't many, but he bought her jewellery) and a few weekends away that she apparently paid for.

I foolishly left the finances for him to deal with. Had I ever checked his credit card statements, I would have discovered this years ago. It's all there.

He had me cash in my retirement savings, as did he, to pay for debts which had accumulated over the years. Now we have no savings, credit cards are maxed and we have personal loans from lots of friends and family that I was never aware of.

I offered, before dday, to sell my jewellery to help with these expenses that I didn't understand and he let me do it.

He even owed MOW money, which she tried to come after using a friend as mediator. She sent WH a letter telling him that "not paying this loan was not an option" and "under no conditions was (I) FB to contact her as (she) didn't want any more drama"

WH wanted to pay the debt ($3k) because it was loaned "in good faith" and he wanted to "honour" that.

I called the friend, listed the costs of the A, divided it in half, and told her that I will consider that she owes me 3k less than 80k. MOW texted me that she understood and that the matter was closed.

I don't know how that happy face got there at the end of my post. I am not laughing.

I once estimated that his first five year ....I don't know what to call it and I just started crying thinking that "affair" is too glamorous, too pretty of a word for it...his first decision to torture and tear apart my insides...cost about $100,000...

He controls most of our finances (he is an accountant) and I never knew a thing about what he was doing financially. Whenever I would ask, he would do the "you don't ever have to worry your pretty head" thing that I lovingly believed.