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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 2:31 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
He's an undiagnosed SA and/or porn addict; diagnosis will never occur because he lies during evaluation. (I know this because he left a checklist for me to find, and the only question he answered, "yes" to one question: "Has your sexual behavior caused problems in your relationships." Um, yeah.)
He also is a smoker, who "quit," but really has secretly continued for over a decade. And I'd say he's addicted to (prescribed) benzodiazepines and narcotics. He does have a bona fide need for the former, but not the latter---though he claims he does.
There may be more; I really know far less about the man than I believed.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 2:32 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
He's an undiagnosed SA and/or porn addict; diagnosis will never occur because he lies during evaluation. (I know this because he left a checklist for me to find, and the only question he answered, "yes" to one question: "Has your sexual behavior caused problems in your relationships." Um, yeah.)
He also is a smoker, who "quit," but really has secretly continued for over a decade. And I'd say he's addicted to (prescribed) benzodiazepines and narcotics. He does have a bona fide need for the former, but not the latter---though he claims he does.
There may be more; I really know far less about the man than I believed.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
sadone29 ( member #38597) posted at 2:43 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
Food, spending, tv. He regularly talks about craving pot even though he hasn't had it for a decade. Since starting SA 12 steps, he says he wishes he could drink. I hope he can stop trying to switch addictions so he can begin true recovery.
DDay Feb. 28, 2013
"It is an act of self-respect and preservation to not forgive."
He finally moved out only because I became on obstacle in his new affair.
nightsky ( member #35728) posted at 3:39 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
Online video sex chats.
He became so obsessed and emotionally attached to his favorite "model" that he called her "my girlfriend." He refuses to own up to the fact that this was an affair and seems to think I would be more "forgiving" if he had a drug addiction 
WH says he has "always been interested" in porn. He claims I knew about that, but he hid the subscriptions to porn sites from years ago.
Oh, and food for sure.
BW (me) – WH (him) mid-50s Married 33 yrs
DD 6/2012 –WH has been paying $$$ for online video sex chats and calls his favorite “my girlfriend.”
"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith" Margaret Shepard
LearningToFly ( member #39073) posted at 7:22 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
Porn
Exercise
the Beatles
Iced Tea at McDonalds (well he goes at least once a day and drinks the extra large serving, refills, drinks, refills and carrys one around all day).
Being the center of attention
He used to be addicted to his GFs emails
All three of our kids have addiction problems with alcohol, marijuana, and smoking. They were raised in a home with parents that do none of that.
[This message edited by LearningToFly at 1:23 AM, June 15th (Saturday)]
Me - BS (53) Him-WS(58)
Her OW(55) HighSchoolGirlfriend
Together 30 years Married 28 Kids 24,21,18
D day Feb 26 2013 after 20 months
D day March 4 they met again "to say goodbye"
D day April 2 found out about secret email
June 2017 F
seekingtomorrow ( member #39068) posted at 7:27 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
ive never thought of them as addictive behaviours,,, but he has obsessive behaviour. before I even knew about the A I very nearly left him over his behaviour in relation to computer games. he really struggles with food, eats for every mood and situation and has no will power in regards to food at all and is obsessive about his job,
D-day 1 august 1st 2012
D-day 2 October 31st 2012
D-day 3 September 10th 2015
Vulcanized (original poster member #33523) posted at 9:08 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
Thank you all for the replies.
I wasn't sure if it was just WXH or if this was a general pattern of behaviour.
Now I see it wasn't an anomaly on XH's part.
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
stillhere09 ( member #24924) posted at 3:05 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
Gambling
A spendthrift
Workaholic
Cell phone addiction
Computer addiction
Addiction to caffeine pills
Exes & other women
And he's so proud of himself because he isn't an addict, meaning he doesn't drink or smoke.
Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH
Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 3:29 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
XWH#1 was an alcoholic, who eventually became a dry drunk after I D'd him the first time. He just replaced the alcohol with percription medication and porn. After our second D he went back to drinking and eventually went into rehab and goes to AA now. I don't know what he does anymore because I no longer care and he is not my problem.
WH#2 is also an alcoholic, former drug addict, and also addicted to porn. (Boy, I can really pick them, can't I). I also started to drink quite a bit when we first got together until I started to have health problems from it combined with a blood disorder. I haven't touched a drop in two years, but he still drinks to drunkness every night. He is also addicted to porn/SA. I will not put up with drugs in my home, so he did give that up as far as I know when we started to date. I am now at the point where I am going to address the alcohol addiction as I can no longer put up with it and he can't heal as long as he keeps drinking everyday. It may well be the end of our marriage because I don't see him giving it up. 
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
luvedmypbear ( member #25690) posted at 3:51 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
porn
masturbation
(no longer actively using)
then it was
MOW
then
spending $
then
drinking
then
food
then
exercise
now
cell phone
online gaming
it never ends
oh
and he is NOT an addict (according to him)
luvedmypbear didn’t care what you thought. She knew she was a badass.
Vulcanized (original poster member #33523) posted at 7:10 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013
And he's so proud of himself because he isn't an addict, meaning he doesn't drink or smoke.
That rationale. So familiar!
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
LittleRussian ( member #36658) posted at 3:34 PM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013
He's a dry alcoholic. All credit to him - he's stayed dry for 6 years now.
And managed to give up smoking 8 years ago.
But he generally has a very addictive personality - he's had other addictions in the past - sex phone lines, online sluts, internet generally .....
Me - firmly middle aged
Him XH - slightly younger (but not much!)
3 young adult children
HeartStings ( member #38017) posted at 3:50 PM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013
Alcohol
Smoking
Gaming
Then after he white-knuckled it and stopped drinking and smoking
Peanut m&ms
Gummy bears
Cookies
Chocolate
Coca cola
Then after he gained 60 pounds and was having health issues
Exercising
Massages
OW (massage girl)
Sports car
Can't wait to see what comes next, but it can't be good!
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