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General :
Sex without a date

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shutup

 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 10:22 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

OMG I just got some new info that made me want to

I asked WH if he ever took MOW on a date and he said no. I believe him because their texts were always flirty and short, but never any substance to them. No scheduling a date or mention of a date. For the life of me why would you sleep with someone who has not taken you on a date? talk about a whore. My WH knows how to pick them I guess.

Did any of your WS's AP's have sex before a date? Talk about giving it up too soon

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6374575
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41andthankful ( member #38650) posted at 10:36 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

My WS only had sex appointments no dates. That's all they both wanted out of it. Just sad.

posts: 247   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2013
id 6374592
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 10:40 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

No dates here. Never ate out together, anywhere. Not once. Too paranoid they'd be spotted by other coworkers. I guess all their dating was done during work.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6374597
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Daisy312 ( member #36813) posted at 11:08 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

The first time wh screwed ow they met at a bar had a few drinks then had sex at her place. After that he never spent more than a few hours with her. He would go there, drink, screw, then come home. I almost feel bad for her that her self respect would be so low that she would allow someone to use her like that.

posts: 324   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2012
id 6374630
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musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 11:14 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

Main OW and my H went to lunch together once well after they had started sleeping together. He even called and asked if it was ok since I was working and he was off (how nice, right). His last OW came to spend a few days with him while he worked out of town. He actually spent 3 of the 5 back at home and she sat in a fleabag hotel 16 hours from her home. He said he took her to Pizza Hut and to a movie. The others, he never took anywhere. He couldn't really risk being seen if he wanted to keep his secret.

posts: 1764   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2013
id 6374639
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fourever ( member #30631) posted at 11:19 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

I think of her as nothing more than an unpaid hooker.

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

posts: 917   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Northeast
id 6374642
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JustWow ( member #19636) posted at 11:32 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

no date and it even had to spring for the room he did her in. Quite a charmer, that one

BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)

posts: 3889   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 6374652
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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 11:34 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2013

My H never had dates either. In fact, he had one OW that he had seen a total of 4 or 5 times over an 18 month period. He only saw her when he wanted sex, and she was always home and let him in. She never charged him for her services either.... in my book, that just makes her a DUMB whore.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

posts: 4527   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 6374655
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 12:00 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Mine used to go walk the flea market together. WTF?

Oh, that's so super klassy.

(not that there is anything wrong with flea markets. But that was the ONLY place they ever went together in public.)

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4971   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 6374677
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 12:05 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

My ws couldn't take ow on a date for fear of being seen plus his free time is very limited. Hr doesn't go to bars, out with the guys, or out of town. Their dates consisted of her meeting him for sex in a less than 30 min encountetr. He's not late from work and is extremely cautious. He did sneak a few hotel rendezvous in by using a vacation day at work so I wouldn't be able to see a change in his paycheck.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6374679
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 12:39 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

These replies are just too much. I guess these OW stoop to a whole new level of low. They really do enjoy the crumbs. Oh well to each his own.

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6374710
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catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 1:24 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Yep, never a date. In fact, the few times I was out of town he didn't tell her, I suspect so she wouldn't have any expectations. Never any contact on any holiday. Not even a card on her birthday. Never said he loved her, in fact told her he loved me and would never leave me. Never spent the night, even the one time they were at the same conference out of town. He basically didn't like her.

She did accuse him of treating her like a whore, but he felt like one too. Often could not even perform, and would just leave, but would show up every month or two due to her threats.

On DDay she told me she was lonely and thought HE has issues! I actually have some pity for her; he did have issues but clearly she had serious ones too to be settling for such treatment. At least my H had a full, happy home life when he wasn't indulging his hidden dark side. She had less than nothing.

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 6374746
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struggling16 ( member #33202) posted at 1:44 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Did any of your WS's AP's have sex before a date?

Yes. There must be an unlimited supply of selfish losers out there.

He had never met the AP. They talked on the phone after connecting on a dating site, he drove to her father's house and they did it on the hide-a-bed in the living room. Apparently their initial meeting was supposed to be a dinner but she cancelled and invited him over instead. Later that day (after the sex), she called him and invited him for dinner the next night. They met at a motel first, then ate. That was when they learned each other's real names and ages (25 and 70). It's just gross. (I thought he was at the cottage doing "chores".)

Their "dates" were meals, wandering around malls while she hinted for him to buy stuff and motels (Red Roof Inns and by the hour places).

[This message edited by struggling16 at 8:23 PM, June 14th (Friday)]

posts: 792   ·   registered: Aug. 26th, 2011
id 6374758
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 4:00 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

I would guess most of their "dates" were all the way out to the parking lot after work to screw on the floor of a moving truck.

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6374893
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scangel3 ( member #36164) posted at 4:04 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

WH and OW went on a few dates, one of their date spots was one of my favorite restaurants, they also went to the movies, and did a lot of talking in her car

BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

posts: 718   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Portland
id 6374899
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NoMorDeceit ( member #23547) posted at 4:30 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Yes. My husband took his long term OW out on dates. She thought she was his girlfriend. He took the others out to dinner or lunch or drinks. None of them knew he was married.

FBS
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled for 8 years. Decided I deserved better than someone who had ever cheated on me. R failed 2/2017. Happy and free. :)



posts: 1003   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2009
id 6374920
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Hearthache again ( member #28564) posted at 4:44 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

No. They settled for a few minutes in the back seat of their vehicle. He wouldn't allow them in ours. We always had car seats in ours so to much hassle I guess.

OW are the most pathetic human creatures on earth.

Me-BS(34)
Him-WS(37)
Married-14 years together 15
Kids 4: 17, 14, 10, and 5
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!

posts: 902   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2010   ·   location: Michigan
id 6374930
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 5:10 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Does it count when the xOw was included when we went to eat, play tennis or go to the movies?

AFAIK the closest to a date between xOw1 and MrH was when she was the third wheel when we went places while her H was at work.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 6374942
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seekingtomorrow ( member #39068) posted at 9:29 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

my hubby had a few dates flirty texts and love letters but no sex,,,

he paid the prostitutes for the sex separately.... all while we were dealing with bailiffs and struggling to put food on the table

D-day 1 august 1st 2012
D-day 2 October 31st 2012
D-day 3 September 10th 2015

posts: 100   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2013
id 6375021
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Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 9:32 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

If fucking my XH in my bed while I was at work counts as a date, then yes.

If not, then no, she was just a disgusting dirty slut who had no problem fucking in my bed.

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6375024
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