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Nature_Girl (original poster member #32554) posted at 3:00 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
My DD wept this afternoon remembering when her Daddy lived here at home. Wanna know what reminded her of Daddy?
I had the kids in the car & we were driving home. DD took her seat belt off while we were driving. I scolded her harshly, she immediately buckled back up.
When we got home she fell into my arms & sobbed. "Mommy, you treated me like a baby in the car! You yelled and acted like I was a stupid baby. Just like Daddy used to treat us. So now I'm remembering Daddy and thinking how he's not here to yell at me anymore."
It makes me sick that getting harshly scolded by me makes her think of STBX, and then she cries because she misses him. What the fuckity fuck am I supposed to do with that???????
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:07 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Hug her... and remember that kids have triggers too?
Hugs for you... parenting is not for the faint hearted.
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
courageous ( member #34477) posted at 3:16 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Your poor dd! That's so sad that her thoughts of her father are of him treating her so poorly 
hug her extra tonight
Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 3:20 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 5:05 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Give her hugs and tell her no matter what you will always be there for her.
Had something as heart wrenching happen with DD16 today. I asked her to make out her grocery list so I could go shopping for the week. She gave it to me and right in the middle of the list she wrote, "a new dad that's not an asshole." Wow! Wasn't expecting that! As a parent you just never know when these comments are going to come at you...
Hugs to you and dd...
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
Nature_Girl (original poster member #32554) posted at 5:33 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
She gave it to me and right in the middle of the list she wrote, "a new dad that's not an asshole."
I am actually crying. So, so sad.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 7:00 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 4:41 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
((((Hugs)))) everyone. Growing up is tough enough (16 can be especially tough) without dealing with this sh!t!!
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:30 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
(((((DD & NG)))))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
numbandnauseous ( member #34525) posted at 6:06 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013
NG, that is so sad for you and DD. Big hugs to you.
What I am impressed by is that DD shared her feelings with you. She feels safe with you, even when you scold her harshly. That is wonderful. She is grieving the loss of her father, just like you had to grieve the loss of your M. This is healthy and much better than stuffing her feelings and having them come out some other dysfunctional way somewhere down the line.
I am sorry that you and DD had to go through that, but I think it is a good, healing thing.
(((((((NG and DD)))))))
BS (me) - 50
WH - 58, EA with HS GF x 2, now deceased
M: 15 years, T: 20, divorced
2 teenage children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
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