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WH spying on me?

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 Atticus13 (original poster new member #39630) posted at 3:41 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

An odd thing happened yesterday and I'm still trying to figure it out. WH and I had an email exchange about divorce logistics...some info my attorney needs for the settlement. Conversations are typically civil between us, but at the tail end of our our exchange I had a moment and let a few sarcastic comments fly (don't regret those by the way).

Here's the odd thing: later that night when I checked my email that exchange had been deleted. At first I thought I must have accidentally deleted it, but I know I didn't. I never touched the "trash" button. I'm starting to suspect he put spyware on my computer to access my email and files...he used to use my laptop when we were together, and when the s**t hit the fan between us, I was away from home for a week and my computer was at home. I'm running a scan right now, but I don't know if it will pick up the presence of spyware. Anyone dealt with this? How did you get it off your computer?

posts: 11   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6397140
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Jennifer99 ( member #39551) posted at 3:45 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

OMG I swear its like everything I went through/am going through is already on SI somewhere!

I had this same thought. My school laptop - I don't know how to tell. I'll be watching the thread.

I wouldn't really care except that is the laptop I pay bills with and he'd get account info.

posts: 557   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2013
id 6397142
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Jospehine85 ( member #35971) posted at 4:10 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Change all of your passwords.

Me - BS
WH - old
Kids
Dday May 2012

posts: 1598   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2012
id 6397165
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 Atticus13 (original poster new member #39630) posted at 4:12 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

That's what's making me suspicious. I did change my passwords almost immediately after DDay. If there is spyware on my computer, he can see the keystrokes and would know the new passwords no matter how many times I change them.

posts: 11   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6397167
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 4:12 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Change all of your passwords.

This wont matter if you truly believe that there is spyware on your computer. Your WH will simply use the keylogger to get your updated passwords.

You should take the computer in to the Geek Squad or some other computer repair place. Tell them that you suspect there's spyware on your computer and you'd like it removed.

THEN change all your passwords once you get it back.

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6397168
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Jennifer99 ( member #39551) posted at 4:18 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

This wont matter if you truly believe that there is spyware on your computer. Your WH will simply use the keylogger to get your updated passwords.

You should take the computer in to the Geek Squad or some other computer repair place. Tell them that you suspect there's spyware on your computer and you'd like it removed.

THEN change all your passwords once you get it back.

For what that would cost me I could just give my laptop to a homeless person or a 5 year old and let Wh enjoy whatever they are doing on it and buy a new one, it was only $200.

But your answer seems much more reasonable.

posts: 557   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2013
id 6397174
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 4:20 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

You had me at "buy a new one"!

(I love electronics, lol).

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6397175
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Jennifer99 ( member #39551) posted at 4:21 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Me too :)

posts: 557   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2013
id 6397178
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 Atticus13 (original poster new member #39630) posted at 4:24 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

F**k a duck, I found it. Here's what you do (thanks web geeks!):

Hit the ctrl-alt-delete sequence and bring up the task manager. Under task manager, click the "processes" tab. The processes list will show you all executable files running on your computer. This takes some patience, google the names and read the info associated.

csrss.exe is running on my computer and is helpfully described as such:

csrss.exe is a process which is registered as a trojan. This Trojan allows attackers to access your computer from remote locations, stealing passwords, Internet banking and personal data. This process is a security risk and should be removed from your system.

How much lower can he stoop?

posts: 11   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6397180
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Jennifer99 ( member #39551) posted at 4:28 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

EW!

Can you save that? Can you quarantine it but not remove it? Leave it be for evidence or something!

No joking - I had a friend who was NOT having an A, her H thought she was, he went seriously over the edge/bonkers. They physically separated and he was doing stuff like that, when she busted him he had all her email contacts and was sending all kinds of people really gross messages that looked like they were from her, etc.

She had to go round with the PD about it.

Now she's with a new guy.

posts: 557   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2013
id 6397186
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Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

How much lower can he stoop?

Good Lord!!! It boggles the mind that this person was your intimate partner...UGH!

This really lets you know what he thinks of you. Like Chattel.

I am so sorry that you are going through this crap fest.

He has once again showed you who he really is. Please believe him.

Run Forrest, RUN.

As far as keeping this trojan on your laptop for evidence, maybe you can take a screen shot before you dump the .exe...? The pdf that you make of the screen shot will automatically have a time stamp and show what computer it originated from.

Take care.

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2012   ·   location: La La Land
id 6397197
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:49 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Now that you know it's there, perhaps you can think of a way to use it to your advantage?

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6397205
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 5:00 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

If it is a keystroke logger - he knows you found it right...? Shame - cause you could mess with him...

Ugh! Just realized that means he knows your user name and password here too I assume.

Think he went further... your phone too? So sorry Atticus.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6397212
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 Atticus13 (original poster new member #39630) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Coming to you from my iPad now....I got a new phone as we were separating he has never touched, so that should be OK. Just shut down the computer and changed all my passwords through my phone, so hopefully no keystroke monitoring there. So yup, he likely knows everything I've been communicating for the past two months. Fortunately most conversations about him have been offline, but he would see what I'm saying to my attorney. Well, glad I figured it out now and was suspicious of that email ending up in the trash. He's making it easier day by day to be happy to be rid of him.

posts: 11   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: CA
id 6397219
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 5:34 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

more about csrss.exe - http://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/protect/forum/mse-protect_scanning/csrssexe/26bba20c-2691-4d42-bec4-637436c53c4f

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6397227
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happierdays ( member #38537) posted at 10:53 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Maybe you should type up a little something for him to read via the keystrokes, may I suggest 'screw you dumbass'!

Glad you found it, but sorry you're having to deal with his crap.

Me - 40 something
WH - 40 something
Dday - Oct 7, 2012
Dday 2 - June 4, 2013
Married - 12 years
2 DD

posts: 162   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6397420
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:31 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

This could be a virus, but csrss.exe from Microsoft is an essential system service, especially if it's running from the Windows/System32 folder. See http://www.neuber.com/taskmanager/process/csrss.exe.html, for example.

inconnu's reference says essentially the same thing, but I think this needs to be stated explicitly here, since not everybody will actually check out the link.

When you think your PC has been compromised, I recommend using housecall.trendmicro.com to scan and fix your PC, since some malware hides itself from the scanner on your PC. With Housecall, the scanning software runs on Trend Micro's site, and that's a lot more secure than any web-connected PC.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31133   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 6397452
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

I found two csrss.exe running in my Task Manager. I'm still okay?

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6397461
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aesir ( member #17210) posted at 11:57 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

I found two csrss.exe running in my Task Manager. I'm still okay?

Depends... maybe maybe not.

The first thing you should check when looking for this kind of thing is the exceptions list for you installed AV program. Little secret, but when people install keyloggers legitimately, they have to notify the AV software that it is supposed to be there so it will be ignored.

After that, try downloading things like Spybot S&D, Malware Bytes, running those, and perhaps a battery of the free online scanners as well.

Now here is where I don't want to alarm you, but you should also check your router to see what other devices are connected to it. Someone could use a packet sniffer on one computer to watch the internet traffic on another if they are connected to the same router.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

posts: 14924   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2007   ·   location: Winnipeg
id 6397471
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hatetheworld ( new member #37494) posted at 12:21 AM on Friday, July 5th, 2013

S**t taco! I found it on my computer too!

WTF!

Me- 23
WS- 26
3 children- 6, 5, 2 (one of which is autistic)
Married almost 7 years in October...
Dday- 11/10/12
Dday 2- 7/2/13 And I'm OUT! It's Divorce time!

posts: 43   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2012   ·   location: wish I knew
id 6397493
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