SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sorry to curse but so necessary.

I was the greatest DIL ever. Then my husband had an affair with a coworker. Told me he didn't want to be married anymore.

We have since reconciled but in laws took too her just for their sons sake. She was a battered women don't you know, found out lies later,damsel in distress b.s . Now i hate I laws.

What do I do. Being all nice like nothing happened.

..nuthin' shits the bed more than the betrayal of the spouse, followed by the betrayal by 'The Fucken In-laws'..

..makes one's blood boil!!

..i'd be puttin' the BIG CHILL on them for quite a while.. fuck that 2-faced approach they're tryin' to pull.

..no way you need to roll over on this one.

smy

No advice here, but just thought you could use a virtual hug from someone in the similar boat. My H had an A for over 2 yrs. His parents didn't know about it, but have accused me of making him miserable for those 2+ yrs. When I set them straight and told them the truth about what he had been doing and how his guilt made him miserable not me... I got the blame for him having the A. They have not spoken to me in over a yr. When we see them in public, they act like I am not there. On his birthday he threw his back out, his mom called 3 times crying cause she wasn't going to see him on his birthday. When he told her that they could come to our house to see him (hr seriously couldn't even walk without pain, no way he was driving), she said... not as long as she is there. At least once a WK she calls giving him the guilt treatment because he doesn't go see them every day he is off work. Today she called when we got home from church and started with her usual, we never see you... you your brother and your dad are all the family that I have...blah blah blah. He told her that she could have more family if she wanted, me and my three kids. Her response, no thank you and she hung up. This is a woman who use to gush over me...calling me the daughter she never had. My kids were the only grandkids she was ever going to have...

My decision, I don't need anyone in my life that treats me like crap. If you can't see what a wonderful caring person I am then its your loss.

You are right, not rolling over for this one. MIL is the biggest two faced see you next tuesday,ever. My husband said she was just being protective of him , F.U.

I remember going to their house after first day of R. She cried and said how happy she was to have me back. I told her ,I never left. Wow, I'm getting really effin angry right now. Good I guess.

That's really hard, still sad.

I'd say try to get some healthy space from them. Not a war, and not NC, just some elbow room so you don't have to pretend like everything's fine.

What's really important is that your WH supports you and understands how this feels like a multiple betrayal. Perhaps he can talk with them and they can all come to some kind of apology, if they do feel remorse for bandwaggoning....

Either way, you shouldn't be subjected to playing nice-nice when your heart hurts.

(((stillsad1970)))

..

MIL is the biggest two faced see you next tuesday,ever

..

'cracked me up!!!'

smy

i feel the SAME WAY!! my husband's family were talking to the ow during the separation. and his brother was even bad mouthing me to the ow....wow.

i told my husband they are not friends of the marriage.

i have nothing to say to them...and i dont think i can ever "let that go."

what's funny is that the ow was the one who shared that they were talking to her...rubbing it in my face. i hope they feel like idiots.

I don't have this issue but my inlaws do know. They never said anything to WH other than basically asking if I was letting him stay a few times. I adore them, I really do. I have to keep telling myself HE *IS* their son. If one of my boys ever did this - they'd get a talking to for sure but at the end of the day - my kids are my kids period. It's no different with my inlaws. WH is *THEIR SON* and they will always love and support him. Having crap for "parents", I actually envy that. Doesn't make me hurt less that they know and it wasn't ever discussed but it is what it is.

Yes after my WH gave his parents a watered down version of what he did they guessed it was because I was so "dominating". WTF???? For real? He cheats on me and they flame ME??? I will never have a relationship with them again. Luckily they are 100's of miles away.

Same here. He tells them his version of "everything" He gets the "we just want you to be happy" pep talk from his parents.

Their "precious perfect" boy could not be to blame. CLEARLY I drove him to it. I feel really betrayed they took that stand. Really hurts.

Avoid people that are or can be toxic to your relationship/M/R. Those people will make things harder for you two so its best to rid them as much as possible from your life becuase right now, if its not about you healing, it doesn't matter. Good luck

We are into r for a while, and this is still a sore point.

I really don't care about ow. Which still amazes me, because I assumed that I would really hate ow, be affected by her, and really, she's a non-entity. I've never been upset by her.

And wh. He was diagnosed as bipolar 1 and admitted a prescription drug abuse problem ( ow is a nurse... Convenient)

So who am I the most upset with... The in laws! I begged them to help when I found pills in wh bag when we visited them.. Nothing. They were friends with ow and even emailed about how to break the court order ... Ow wanted to see our kids at visits, and it was court ordered she not do that. They emailed about telling the kids her name was different, so if they were asked in court, they wouldn't perjur themselves.

My mil even emailed ow over and over bad mouthing me, saying gotta is not worth you getting upset, I'm so sorry she's acting like this... Thank you for helping my son... Gotta thinks she is so smart, even her mother will get tired if her attitude soon...

Stuff like that.

Now, mil is two faced & Hugs me, etc... we see them 2x a year, would love to stop that but the kids like their cousins who did nothing.

Should have known this would happen, my mil and sil wore black to our wedding. and the groomsman, a cousin, took wh aside before walking down the aisle and said, you want to back out, its not too late... I got the car outside and we can just go.

Great family!!!!