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FeelingFoolish, you're strong and awesome. Wish I was nearby, I would buy you a coffee and cheer you on.

You're handling this with integrity and dignity. You're an example for us all.

Hard to believe that they could put you through this twice, but they often do. So sorry the reconcilliation failed, but I think you will be fine and will now have the freedom to be happy. Good luck and keep posting!

Strong? Integrity? Dignified?

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I certainly don't feel any of the above. I am a hot mess on the inside!! Can't quit crying.

Spoke to WH this morning. It was a rather subdued conversation. Told him i filed and that I could/would not live like this anymore. Telling the Howorker that he loves her was a dealbreaker for me.

Oh, and last night, he said to me, "I don't love that bitch!" That's too bad he doesn't because he lost his family for someone who wasn't really that important to him.

WH said that he thought we should just separate for a while and then file for divorce if necessary, that filing for divorce right now was 'a bit over the top'. I said "No, I'm not going to separate from you so you can go sow your oats for however long and then come back home. Not gonna happen. You don't want to stop seeing her. If you did, you would."

WH said he understood. I told him he could be free now to do whatever he wanted--text whoever, visit whoever, email whoever. And I wouldn't have to be home knowing he was disrespecting me by continuing the relationship with her.

That's his big issue with me, that i check his phone and email. I don't check it as often as some BS, i know that for a fact!!

So, that's my update. I hope to have him served today or tomorrow.

To all new BS's, remember---It's that simple. If a WS wants to end the relationship with the AP, they will. If they don't end it, it's because they don't want to.

Good for you. Stay strong. I know it is hard. That is what my husband wanted too, time to be seperated and act single. When push came to shove he never went no contact and became completely transperant until divorce became a reality. They cake eat as long as they think they can. Sorry for what you are going through. You deserve better and a better future is ahead for you.

What is FTG?

(((FF)))

YOU are amazing. Go girl go. Stay stong.

FTG = Fu*# That Guy.

(((feelingfoolish)))

FTG is F*#k That Guy

Stay strong girl, I know how much this hurts. You're doing great and you're going to be ok. Believe it!

We're here for you.

FeelingFoolish, I admire your strength and determination. I had a short period of false R, just 4 months but I too filed D the day after I confirmed he was still in contact and professing his love. I don't regret the D one tiny bit. Stay strong.

Oh and FTG = f@#k that guy or if you want the tame version...forget that guy.

(((feelingfoolish)))

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending you strength.

For what it is worth...

YOU ARE MY HERO TODAY

I can only imagine how incredibly hard this has been and is on you.

I don't want to minimize the magnitude of your filing for divorce. I am sorry that your marriage has ended this way.

I am, however, so inspired by your courage and your ability to stand up to your WH.

You took the power back and said enough. After three Ddays you had enough.

Stay strong and know that you are defining your life going forward. You are not waiting on him to "come around" or "recommit".

Kudos to you. You are not foolish you are incredible.

The best is yet to be.

Prayers and hugs

1Faith--Thank you so much! This has been an incredible decision to follow through with. I just keep telling myself-this is for the best.

I really appreciate your support. It made me cry.

New Beginnings

by Gertrude B. McClain

It's only the beginning now

...a pathway yet unknown

At times the sound of other steps

...sometimes we walk alone

The best beginnings of our lives

May sometimes end in sorrow

But even on our darkest days

The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best

Whatever life may bring

And look beyond the winter chill

To smell the breath of spring.

Into each life will always come

A time to start anew

A new beginning for each heart

As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares of life are great

And hands are bowed so low

The storms of life will leave behind

The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will never take away

Our chance to start anew

It's only the beginning now

So dreams can still come true.

Stay strong my friend. Big hugs and many prayers.

Hey - 1Faith isn't the ONLY one with hero worship!

Put ME on the list, as well!

Job well done.

To all new BS's, remember---It's that simple. If a WS wants to end the relationship with the AP, they will. If they don't end it, it's because they don't want to.

Well said.

(((feeling)))

So true. Grown ups know how to end a relationship if they want to.

He didnt' want to.

I'm sure it hasn't hit him yet, but it will.

But it doesn't matter how hard it does or doesn't hit him. Like the other said "Stay strong."

UPDATE: Yesterday, i worked until 5p. Came home briefly for a lunch break-WH was sleeping. When i got home from work at 5p, WH was sleeping.

I ran some errands with DS, cooked dinner and then had a counseling appt at 8p. WH was still sleeping when i was doing these things.

I went to bed around 10p. Slept in our extra bedroom-never have done that before.

I see that WH was up briefly some time during the night but he was asleep again when i left this morning.

This amount of sleep is rather unusual for him. Is reality of his choice finally sinking in?

feelingfoolsih,

Keep a diary of how much WH is sleeping and the fact that you are providing the bulk of care for your DS. Log it. Log that you ran the errands, you made DS dinner and that WH slept.

It may be useful in determining custody.

Extensive sleep is a sign of depression.

But he may also be sleeping to avoid the reality of his life and his choices.

Ball is in his court. Stay strong and hang on to the 180.

(((Hugs)))

We say here--actions, not words. So don't worry about what he is feeling in the inside. What is he doing?

Jack shit. Selfishly sleeping.