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classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 3:12 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
I am with a guy that wants to have an open relationship girlfriend but i want to know should i stay or leave for good?
i don't want to get hurt
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:23 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Do you want an open relationship?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 3:26 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:29 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Then there's your answer.
Nothing but hurt can come of this for you if you stay.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 3:34 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 3:42 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Please, please, DO NOT if you love each other and want your relationship to last. You will be playing with fire.
This is how my STBXWW's affair began, immediately once we started having a "sort of" open marriage. (Even though I now believe she inevitably would have had an affair.)
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:46 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
I think you need to think long and hard about why you would even consider this if you so clearly don't want it.
Why don't you think you deserve the kind of love you want?
What's so different about this guy that you would consider lowering your standards for him?
Why would you choose something you don't want over the alternatives (i.e. being alone, taking the time to find the right person, etc.)?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 3:59 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
true alot my friends tells me the same things
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 6:16 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Do not agree to this. He is apparently a cake-eater and you need to show him the cake WALK and moonpie walk your way to the nearest exit sweetie!!!
NO NEW HURTS!!!! ((BIGHUGZ))
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
lostmommy ( member #33440) posted at 6:24 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
I would absolutely never agree to being in an open relationship. Ever. If someone presented the idea to me I would end the relationship I was in with them immediately.
Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 7:01 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
should i wait to tell him in person or text him
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 7:14 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
how long have you been together?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 7:17 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
One Year finally a month ago he got divorce
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 7:19 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
A) You say you don't want an open relationship, so do not compromise it. You will get hurt.
B) The fact that he even broached this is a red flag that he is going to try to pursue an "open relationship" with or without your knowledge...
One Year finally a month ago he got divorce
ETA: wait... are you saying that you were the OW for the past year?
[This message edited by hurtbs at 1:31 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 7:29 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
ETA: wait... are you saying that you were the OW for the past year?
?????????
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 7:32 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
'k, y'all.
Let classy answer so that she can be helped in Wayward if that's the case.
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 7:41 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
OW or not, I would end things with him in person after a year.
Check out http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk. If your friends are telling you your boundaries need help and this post is an accurate assessment of them, this might be a good resource for you.
[This message edited by Amazonia at 1:42 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 8:27 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
classy6179 (original poster new member #39938) posted at 8:44 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
the problem is he comes around each time stupid me comes around each and every time hoping this time is real.
Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 9:02 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Maybe I’m cold but I don't understand the necessity for a face to face in order to end a relationship. If the relationship didn’t work, you don’t need to play it right so that friendship can immediately ensue. It’s not going to happen. End it in whatever way is most comfortable for YOU. Be clear that you are done, erect strong boundaries, go NC, and get on with your healing.
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
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