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SI Makes it on Huffington Post

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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 9:44 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Dang. MH and DS are taking a beating in the comments. Sad how cruel people can be.

It's awesome when uneducated, uninformed people who have absolutely no experience with something have soooo much to say about the issue.

I hope all those commenters find the help they need. Life's not fair. It deals us cruel hands. This world is full of hurting people. But the help is there, if you are brave enough to seek it out.

ETA: Thank you MH and DS for putting your story out there, facing the haters, and having a place like SI for those of us who need it. It's been a blessing.

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 3:47 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6419455
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atsenaotie ( member #27650) posted at 9:53 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Very brave of you to make this video as an outreach, thank you.

As for the comments... When I was younger there was a theory about randomness and coincidence that if you gave a billion monkeys typewriters they would eventually create the works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know that this is not true.

LTA FBS
dday 10.5.09
Divorced

posts: 4173   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2010   ·   location: FL
id 6419469
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 9:53 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Those types of commenters are exactly why we need a safe place like SI.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 6419470
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 10:05 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

I agree that it was brave, one more brave action born of compassion by you both!

I also think if reading the comments section of ANY article was a snapshot of society... Well, I would lose all hope for our planet!

I wonder what a "share your occupation" thread on HP would generate? I have a very high opinion of the readers and posters HERE vs. anywhere else.

As for one of the most narrow minded comments that proves NO CONCEPT of what this community is or does, the idea that a better name would be promotingfidelity. pffft! I would never have found this site with those search parameters. It happened. I was devastated and hurt and lost. I was dying and I wanted to survive. I needed survivors and the very real reality that this had already happened. There was nothing left to promote any more!

It has been said thousands of times by thousands of people and I never shy away from repeating it: DS, MH, thank you. Your time and kindness are a gift. I hope you can always find a positive balance in the appreciation. I am glad you say it doesn't bother you, but like a previous poster said, it bothers me and I am projecting that onto you!

Thanks to you both.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6419489
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 10:06 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Wow, I am so incredibly sorry for the sadly negative responses.

I want to personally thank both of you (MH & DS) for your bravery and sacrifice in taking something so negative (in 2000) and turning it into something so supportive and positive for others.

I only hope SI has helped y'all continue to heal as much as it has helped the rest of us!

I can't help but wonder what percentage of those who posted such negative remarks are either the betrayer or the betrayed by infidelity.

You did a very, very good thing.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 6419491
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painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

I can't find it. Would someone PM me the link?


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6419500
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

(((Caregiver and the rest of you)))

You're so sweet

I think it doesn't bother me because MH and I have had our dirty laundry out on the internet for 13 years now, so for us...well, it's just part of our history together.

It would be much different if any of you here were to say something negative/lie/attack me because I care about you, I care about what you think of me and it would hurt my feelings if any of you here thought less of me. Mostly because I have so much invested in you all with watching you heal

But those out there>>>....no, it really doesn't bother me what they say

I only wish you would pay us in gold bars

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:11 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6419501
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sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 10:11 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

People are idiots. And you know what they say about opinions?

And most of those comments are from people who have NOT had infidelity touch their lives. How many of us reacted completely different than we thought we would when we discovered our own "infidelity"?

*I survived Infidelity*

posts: 8400   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2003   ·   location: Iowa
id 6419502
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JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 10:12 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

I can't find it either. There are many recent articles on Huff.Post on survivinginfidelity....I peeked into many of them, but it's not the one talked about here.

PM please :) OR type in the name of the article so I could do a more precise search.

posts: 3077   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2003   ·   location: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
id 6419506
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7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 10:15 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Hopefully people that actually are looking for a way to survive infidelity, like I was over 2 years ago, will see the article and make there way to the website. This place helped me get through what was the worst time of my life. The people in the comments section are clueless. I am sure more than a few people that really need help will come to SI seeking help after reading it but if even just 1 person comes to the site and makes it through the shitstorm then it has done it's job.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 4:16 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

posts: 2231   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2011   ·   location: VA
id 6419510
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overcoming2003 ( member #30862) posted at 10:17 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

It was great watching the video! I think that it was not only brave of DS, but you spoke to the hearts of many. Not only to people on this sight, but those who don't know about it (and now they do) and those who may shy away, think about it and then come around.

It is great to know that you are willing to put your past mistakes and experiences out there for others to learn from. It shows that you are sorry for what happened, not only will it not happen again, but you want to equip others with the tools to keep it from happening to them and how to deal with it when it does.

This website has helped me to put myself, my M, my H and my life in perspective and to see it for what it is. I had so many emotions that I wasn't sure were normal and here it was, thousands of people who understood my process on many levels. It has been therapeutic in many ways to know of this sight.

Tons of hugs, likes and applauds for this sight and your interview.

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 6419513
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numb&dumb ( member #28542) posted at 10:22 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Yeah I read the article, but the comments . . .yikes.

I thought I was the one with the anger problem

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 5152   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 6419519
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 10:26 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

the distilled essence of tormented gelflings?

OMG I nearly peed myself...!!!

I watched that movie not long ago...

If not for SI and all the wonderful people here I know I wouldn't be around. This place is truly a blessing. I don't how I could ever express my gratitude. Anyone who speaks badly of DS, MH or the site hasn't experienced what we all have. I envy them and pity them at the same time.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25896   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 6419525
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MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

screw em DS. Not like you needed me to say that but I just wanted to In all seriousness though, I haven't read the comments but I know all too well the dynamic of those that comment on HuffPo - very judgmental, snarky, and sometimes downright ugly.

44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....

posts: 7497   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2009   ·   location: So Cal.....
id 6419544
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Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 10:52 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

I finally found it. Thank you for this site and all you've done. Thank you for everyone on here who has helped me survive. As for the comments, it's to be expected. The majority of the people are folks who never had infidelity touch them and are speaking in certainties. I am certain once a cheater always a cheater. I am certain it would be a dealbreaker. I am certain I know exactly what I am talking about. A few people who have actually had infidelity spoke up and said respect to those who had a remorseful spouse and had the strength to R.


posts: 3615   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012
id 6419556
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MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 10:54 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Unagie, can you PM me the link?

44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....

posts: 7497   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2009   ·   location: So Cal.....
id 6419558
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cletuswv ( member #37463) posted at 11:03 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Could someone pm me the link.?

Me: BH 40
Her: WW 35
DDay #1: 9/28/2012
TT until:
DDay #2: 1/03/2013
2.5 yr LTA EA/PA
Dday #3 6/19/2013 OM #2
DD 4
DS 7
She moved out on 7/2/2013

posts: 94   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: The best Virginia
id 6419573
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A Woman Scorned ( member #20875) posted at 11:21 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

DS!!! I haz a sads! the peoples on the interwebz says you're made up and you haz some big money scheme?!!

if you can please share said money and stop being made up, that'd be great...

screw 'em, hopefully they never have to find out how wrong they are, although some of them... well, they know where to find this site now at least...

nice job on the interview

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King Jr

"Oh, look what the whore-cat dragged in... a whore" Stan Smith, American Dad

posts: 1980   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6419597
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 11:23 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Dang, I can't get the video to work.

People are ignorant. F*ck 'em, we love DS and MH and are forever grateful to the both of you.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6419599
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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 11:25 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

I made it thro8gh a few pages of comments and on almost every one I was thinking "Ya'll have NO f**king clue, do you?" However there were a couple that made me think the commenter was either a member here or at least read here.

I'd like to add my thanks to both of you and to all the members here. if it wasn't for SI I'd still be the broken individual I was when I registered, looking for my next AP probably.

Just want to add that I do NOT think DS is a liar nor do I think MH is a wimp. We all know how strong a BS has to be to even consider R and a WS has to be strong to face and fix themselves. My hat's off to every member here for having that strength.

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 6419604
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