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hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 1:58 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
I have posted in the past about woman from TGs past that I am not particularly comfortable with.
Her kids are friends with TGs kids. She has 5 kids. TG is close to 2 of them. They are visiting our area. They are coming over to visit TG tonight. I am out of town.
I do not trust this woman as far as I can spit. She and TG were briefly romantically involved just prior to TG and I dating. He has always told me of her attempts at contact but she fishes a couple of times a year. TG sees it as harmless. I do not.
She is coming to my house tonight. My intuition is sounding alarm bells. I don't know if I'm triggering or just being jealous and untrusting. TG has given me no reason at all not to trust him. He told me. I told him point blank that this was setting off alarm bells. My DS will be there too along with this woman's two kids but I still do not like it.
I could just use some calming support b/c right now I want to call every 5 minutes!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
What it comes down to is ...you have to have trust in TG. That, and make sure your DS is stuck to him like glue while she is there 
I'm serious!!!
However, why can't they meet somewhere away from your home? couldn't they go grab some pizza or something?
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 2:05 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
I totally understand, but just focus on the security you and TG have built together. ((Hugs))
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 2:12 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
I guess TG just wanted to invite them over for a BBQ. He invites everyone over to our place. I doubt going out even ocurred to him.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:33 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
lostmommy ( member #33440) posted at 2:35 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:36 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Big hugs. With all the kids around I'm sure it will all be fine.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:09 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
((Hexed))
Be strong. Trust.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 3:46 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
((hexed))
You can do this!
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 3:56 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Is it possible for you to focus on the friendships between the kids, and try to view her as just a vehicle, like a stinky old car, that delivers the kids? Sure the thing belches smog, has bad brakes, stains all over the seats and nicotine smears on the windows. But the kids can't decide what brings them there, they just have to go along, and it is bringing them to see their friends.
Maybe let TG know he is responsible for cleaning the oil stains off the driveway when she leaves?
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 4:50 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Calm down Hexed...
You got this and he's cool...
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 4:52 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
The thing that bugs me about this is that TGs kids aren't going to be there. They are back with their mother.
I know there will be some drinking. That always makes me worry. I know that she doesn't have good intentions.
I know that I can trust TG but drunk friends will forever make me feel yucky b/c of X.
Uggh!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 6:07 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 6:21 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
(((hugs)))
You ask for hugs, you are going to get hugs, my friend.
I hope the light of day tomorrow chases these shadowy doubts away!
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 12:44 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
I'm actually a bit upset this morning about the whole thing.
I called once b/c I needed to talk to him about something. It was a bit late. He'd obviously had a few. He initiated no contact last night.
I don't feel happy at all.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
confused girl ( member #10649) posted at 12:50 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
He initiated no contact with her last night??
What happened that made him take that action. Of course, I think that is a good course to follow but I assume something must have happened.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 12:59 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
I think hexed is saying he didn't contact her (hexed) to say goodnight.
That is a huge issue IMO and the optics on this one are NOT good. I'm pissed for you hexed. 
[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:03 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 1:07 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
No - She initiated contact with him.
Long story short she fishes a couple times a year. Normally she's several states away. She is from our area and was in town visiting.
I am pissed that after making it clear that I was feeling uncomfortable he couldn't be bothered to text me last night.
Yes there were lots of people around. Unfortunately, I think all of them except my DS would be in favor of this woman and TG getting together. I don't feel happy at all.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
confused girl ( member #10649) posted at 1:20 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Hexed, I'm so sorry for the rough night.
There isn't any reason for me to say all the things running thru my head. You are saying them all to yourself already.
just hugs.............
Weatherly ( member #18222) posted at 2:10 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
((((((((Hexed)))))))
I don't know what to say, except I'd be pissed as well.
Me-33 ,Two boys, 13 and 14
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
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