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Me and fWH were sitting around listening to music on youtube. I picked a song that I needed him to hear, My immortal by Evenescence. That song really stung him, I didn't think it would resonate with him as much as it did. I told him that that song is more accurate then any and is how ive always felt. He then chose One thing by Finger 11. I hadnt realized it before but I think the song is from a WSs point of view. My H said that the lyrics "Even though I know I don’t want to know Yeah, I guess I know I just hate how it sounds" is how he feels and that hes not trying to act like it didn't happend, just trying to avoid triggering me. Both of these songs say it better than we ever could.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 7:24 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Good song choices.

It's amazing how lyrics can really resonate with what we are currently going through in our lives.

Yeah, my fWH used to make me feel stupid about how I use music to vent, translate feelings or just get out of my head for a while. I think he gets it now. Sometimes, its the only thing that's gotten me through the hard times.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 12:48 AM, August 2nd (Friday)]

Same here. Music has always been a very important part of my life, from a very young age.

My H was emotionally hollow so he didn't get moved by things like I do. I wouldnt have believed he cried when our son was born if my mom hadn't told me. He has made positive changes, hopefully permanently.

So glad to hear this, DoneWithLove. That is great news.

Thank you, I hope I will always have positive things to post about.

I played "My Immortal" constantly while my H was in his A. It resonated deeply with me, I just didn't know why. After the A, I couldn't listen any more, as it became way too painful.

When I had him listen to it was the last time I listened to it. As good as the song is, I feel like some songs make me have an unnecessary trigger like the other side by jason derulo, especially these lyrics "I know we ain’t friends anymore If we walk down this road We’ll be lovers for sure". It sends me right down the mind movie roller coaster, I loved that song before his A but he ruined that for me too.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 8:13 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]

Some most amazing things can come from some terrible nights. by the group Fun. (and their website confirms the last word is nights, not lies).

Resonates with me and it appears this is true for some survivors of affairs...hoping to be one of them.

God be with us all.

My husband and I share our ITunes account and our play lists. 2 weeks after Dday last year we went to our cabin in the mountains. I decided to go out and dig in the garden (a huge stress release for me) and I took my ipod to keep me company. Every single song my husband had added to the list for 2 or more years resonated on my heart. The arrows were incredibly painful, one after another. There were so many songs that related to the A that I had to go in and erase all of them. I could tell exactly how he had been feeling during his 4 year A.

I have tried to ask him about several of the songs like STAY by Sugarland. I wanted to know if his OW had selected some of them. His answer to me has always been "I don't listen to the lyrics I select songs based on their tune and melody." Unfortunately for me, music is a look into my soul.

T

STAY by Sugarland

I still remember the first time I heard this song.

I was leaving the local casino and it came on the radio. I love Sugarland and turned up the radio thinking I would enjoy it.

I cried the

whole.way.home.

How dare they write such a beautiful song from the OW's POV. Was I supposed to feel bad for her?

Ugh

So yeah, I get the song stuff, sometimes too much.

Almost 6 years later when Stay comes on the radio I blast it and sing along.

It had an initial impact, but it passed and I choose to not let it bother me anymore.

I never realized that stay was from the OWs POV. I hope that's how she felt, like she lost an up hill battle to steal my H from me. I hope she cried, had sleepless nights and that it wrecked he life too, but that would mean that she has a conscience... she is obviously void of one.

Yeah it is.

The OW in our sitch was my/our "friend". I don't give her thought really anymore, but I know her life is awful. Her husband divorced her..she wasn't even capable of R.

She got a nice chunk of change in the D settlement which she used to open up a bar with her new "prince".

She unfortunately wasn't savy enough to draw up some legal documents and the "prince" took the bar after about 2 years and kicked her to the curb. She got engaged a few weeks later...has since broken it off with "prince" #2 and now lives in a seedy apartment with nothing to her name.

I used to think it was Karma, and I waited for it to happen (hence my name) but I have learned it really was just bad choice after bad choice that led her to where she is.

If I want to give her a minute of my life I think it is such a sad waste of a life. She has nothing and noone. Even her kids chose to live with her ex.

I doubt she believes her life now is a result of her actions. I am sure she has excuses she filled herself with....

I actually hope she finds her way one day. She is a broken soul and what she did was shitty, but it was also a product of her being broken. I think we all deserve to find a healing of our own.

hmmm...slight t/j there sorry.

lol

I hope I get to that point and we can be in a better place on our M and R. Thank you and Good luck

I felt it was a really good sign when my WH said he was listening to "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers as he drove away after a visit and started to cry. "I belong with you, you belong with me, in our sweet home".

He will grab my hand in the car if Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up" or Mumford & Sons "I Will Wait" ("you forgave and I won't forget") comes on...

Powerful stuff in those lyrics.

Spend hours crying after Dday listening to Dixie Chicks "You Were Mine" - even texted him a link to a youtube video of it when I hit rock bottom. That song was a favorite of mine years ago when our DD and DC were 4 and 2 (like in the song). Loved the melody. Now the lyrics just about rip my heart out. Not sure I will ever be able to listen to it again. Those lyrics could've been written by me in the aftermath of Dday. Wow.

My note to self: Never listen to Pandora's Country Love Song mix post Dday. If you weren't feeling suicidal, it could make you that way! Ugh. H isn't listening to much country music these days, but "Hard to Love" and "The Man I Want to Be" should be his anthems!

Have a happy day, everyone!

I wont give up was the song I walked down the isle to. So much for those lyrics, alot of good it did me. My FWH particularly likes bruno mars if I was your man, he says thats how hes gonna think from now on. I got him addicted to bruno. I like kiss this by aaron tippin, I crank it up when it comes on and alot of miranda lambert songs too.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 7:38 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]

The other day I heard a song I NEVER understood as a kid. They both played back to back on satellite radio.

ABBA - WINNER TAKES IT ALL

and

Send in the Clowns.

we have gotten two new songs we love the Jason marez one & blake sheltons mine would be you ..

I would like to play more like her by miranda lambert for the OW and see if it opens her eyes about the path she chose.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 11:38 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]