SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thinking of you today.

Thank you, everyone. I am still completely devastated. I called in to work today. I have fallen far behind this month due to the dog and my sister (who is a drug addict) and I do not know if I can catch up. I was at the vet clinic six times in the past month. I do not know what to do.

His last breath totally broke me. He always had to have me hold him at the vet’s office. This time was no different. The vein that they tried to put the injection in exploded and it hurt him. He yelped. The second vein that they tried worked. He died in my arms. I laid him down and his head ironically was lying on his favorite toy; a nasty, chewed up squeaky bone that stopped squeaking years ago (I tried replacing it many times, but he never played with any of the replacements). In fact, whenever I put his toys away in a corner, he would bring them all back in to the middle of the floor and leave them, just to be a pain in the ass.

I cried like I haven’t in awhile. The only two times that I can recall crying like that were due to my dad’s death and due to the A and the subsequent D. My kids were so sad. All I could do was apologize to them. I feel really guilty. His blood numbers were not as bad as I thought they would be, but he was still not producing any of his own blood. Plus, his diabetes was out of control. We would have to up his insulin amount. The vet told me that he would have been critical again in two weeks no matter what we did and would need another blood transfusion. I kind of decided to do it that day to get it over with. That thought makes me cry even now. I miss him so much already. I keep thinking that I should have tried harder or done more. I am hoping that the feeling goes away. My house is so quiet without him. The kids are at their mom’s house for half of the week. I hate this.

((Lost))

Another hug for you.

No matter if his numbers were worse, it still sucks. BTDT.

No words to help, just a (((LaG)))

First off, (((hugs)))

I keep thinking that I should have tried harder or done more.

Just stop. Stop right there. You did enough. You did a good job. You gave your friend love, and caring, and devotion. Just as he did for you. The two of you gave each other support and the gift of togetherness.

The deal we make with our fur kids is that we will take care of them, show them love, tend to their health, and when it’s time, we will end their suffering. In return, they teach us what unconditional love is and offer that love to us each and every day. That is the great joy that they give to us. The sad equation is that, they never live long enough. Their life spans are shorter than ours, so at some point, we loving owners are faced with the same decision that you were. And that is where we have to do what’s right for our friends. Make the really hard decisions to honor the love that they have so lavishly given to us.

Yes. You may have kept him breathing for one or two more weeks. It’s possible. With him fading each day until that next transfusion, which may or may not have worked, and the sure knowledge that his body would have gone through another critical phase. And then faced the same decision again, with a dog that was less healthy than he had been. Possibly hurting. Definitely not getting better.

Instead you picked the day and time. You gave him a good day with love and treats, no doubt. A last night of being cuddled next to you. And then with kindness, holding him to comfort him in a situation that you knew he didn’t like, you ended his suffering.

That’s the bargain that we make with them, when we love them, if we truly love them. That at some point, we will set them free from their failing bodies and end their suffering. We let them go with regrets and tears, yes, but also with love.

(((hugs))) I’m sitting here bawling for you. It never gets easier, but if the alternative is to never experience such love, then I’ll take the pain.

I'm just heartbroken for you reading this. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a family member. Please do not blame yourself for not doing more. You did what you could for him and chose to not let him suffer any longer. What you did was completely selfless.

We had to put our beloved dog to sleep very unexpectedly right before DDay. I was still reeling from it when I found out about the A. I miss him so much and think about him every day. I'm glad that he didn't have to feel the tension in our home after DDay, but I know he would have let me cuddle him while I sobbed.

Lots of love going out to you and your doggy tonight.

((((L&G))))

It hurts so bad when we loose a family member. Quit making yourself feel guilty. He was not enjoying life the way he should, you made a good decision.

He is now able to run and play, and be himself. Make sure that you allow yourself the time to grieve his loss. It's ok.

They become such a big part of our lives. Remember the fun silly things, and not the last few weeks.

((((and peace))))