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I mentioned in the t/j e cig thread that I can't go out for a smoke often because the kids get into stuff.

Just this morning dd dumped cereal all over the floor then blamed DS (I know it was her she was eating it!)

However DS was busy himself changing the orange and white cat to blue with a marker (why the heck would the cat sit through that??? ).

Ugh!

DD's home nurse and teacher both said she's extremely smart. Her behavioural ped says she's "highly aware of what's going on around her" She does have anxiety and I'm still trying to learn how to help her cope. Food is a source of anxiety. She's afraid to try food. Afraid to touch it.

DS is just at a point where he wants constant hugs and snuggles. Usually from daddy. He loves tractors but is terrified of the lawn tractor.

One thing I have learned is spankings don't have an affect on my kids. Biting results in a spanking yet they both still bite. And since dd got Ito hitting we have gone the "hands are not for hitting route". Both kids began acting up this morning. I said unless I saw better behaviour they would lose outside time. They have been better.

It sounds like they would definitely benefit from more structured time. It can be really hard to do, but once the habits are in place they will behave better.

Make a schedule out for them, you can even find magnetic charts that are helpful (we got ours at a local teacher store).

When they were little (ages of yours) it was fairly simple things.

Get up

Go potty

Eat breakfast

TV time (30 minutes)

Outside time ( 1 hour)

Reading and Snack time (30 min)

And do the whole day like that for each thing they do well they get a star, when they get stars for the whole day they get a reward. (I kept a basket full of happy meal toys, and stuff from the dollar store, and Ice cream was a reward too).

This allows them to self recognize their good behavior, it also is positive reinforcement from you. It's a lot easier to get the smart kids to behave with rewards instead of punishments.

Your post from this morning reminded me of the chaos we had in our house... When they were 3&5 I actually caught them playing on the roof (farm style house with porches all the way around roof has a very slight pitch and they could go out their bedroom windows). So yes it was still a very big challenge with them, but for the most part they were happy, and I stayed sane.

How do you structure time for two kids who have such different likes?

Dd I can structure pretty easy. She's used to it from school but DS...I don't know how to structure his time without conflicting with dd.

Both of them want my attention constantly. I draw with dd while DS plays with his cars, he gets upset. If I try to include him in drawing....well there's always a fight between them.

Right now they are outside. Both seem content and happy to do their own thing. Especially DS. He's got a large stick and is happier than can be.

Well both kids have really been dealing with my firm boundaries the past couple of days.

Dd even tried rice. Grabbed a huge fork full. Poor child gagged and started to get upset but I calmed her and encouraged her and she made it through. She was happy that she tried it.

Both still get upset if I dont respond to demanding requests but have started to ask nicely knowing that now I'll either ignore them completely or stand and stare at them until they act right.

It's not going to change things overnight. I ha to put DS back to bed a few times for being up wandering but I did it without much If any conversation and he got the hint. I'm sure I'll have to do it again tonight and tomorrow

At least it's a start in the right direction. Thanks all :)