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My heart, my being REFUSES to let go of this anger, this bitter. I cannot for the life of me let go. These people - My mom, my sister and DD's father have turned me into an ugly person.

I don't wish to hurt them, I just simply want to get away.

Right now I'm so angry I feel like digging my nails into arms and pressing REALLY HARD. This is the only thing that helps at times. OR grinding my teeth but when I do this I somewhat dig my nails into my palms.

I really want to let go of this anger

(((Ariabook)))

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Anger and bitterness are hard to let go of. They can consume us. Have you tried healthy ways to lessen your anger? Talking out your feelings, journaling, hitting a punching bag, hikes, time with friends? Are you seeing an IC? Sending you strength and hope for better days.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:25 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]

(((ariabook)))

I'm sorry you are in such pain. It sounds like you've had to deal with an awful lot. I hope you'll be able to get some support independent of family dysfunction with an IC. In addition, I saw where you'd mentioned BPD and I'm wondering if you might be able to find a support group through NAMI for family members & others dealing with BPD &/or other mental health issues.

As for anger, it may sound like a cliche but I sure burned off a lot of rage exercising like fury (pun intended). I had upper arm toning like you wouldn't believe from walking, because every stride included an uppercut punch. It can be hard to get started, but it can really help.

Remember, this too shall pass. I hope things turn brighter for you soon.

(((Ariabook)))