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Unfortunatley in my 21+ years of doing this nursing thing I have seen more than my fair number of Dr's that just don't have the balls to be honest with people. Which I still don't get. Why would you cheat someone out of quality with the time they have left ?!?!

This is what I fear. All they want to do is heal, but they cheat the people out of the quality.

Both of my other grama's wished and regreted trying treatment, and they were 78 and 82...10 to 12 years more and now my last grama.

Grama B want's to stay home, she's so independant, and she asked me if she did this would she be able to stay home....I said no, probably not. We could get her nurses i am sure, but she would need almost round the clock care with Chemo - its just that hard on the body.

She looked deflated, but I couldn't lie to her. I worry that the doctor will make it out to be less then it could be. By the time she figures it out, it could be to late to have any quality of life left.

I know i am selfish, to want her around for a while longer, but not so selfish that I would try to get her to do something I know will cause more harm then good.

But then that's it....no more grama's of any kind....Why does the world get lonelier the older you get?

I get this - hugs!

YEAH!! some good news!! and not so good news....

So, there is no swelling in the nodes. They have scheduled her Mastectomy for September 10th. The mass is 3mm, so not really small.

But, this is an Estrogen Positive slow growth tumor and they are going to only do a pill that will suppress the estrogen and suppress the growth of further cancer (at this point)

I would still really like a second opinion, but i dont think i will have enough pull to do it. My mom has exhaled so its like she's settled on this news.

At least there is no chemo at this point, but recovery will be rough for Grama B.

No advice, just hugs:

(((Undefinabl3)))

(((hugs)))

At least she knows the plan and can prepare.

Do you mean 3 CM? 3 MM is actually small for a breast tumor.

Do you mean 3 CM? 3 MM is actually small for a breast tumor.

Yes, i meant CM, thank you.

This puts her squarely in Stage 2, and as long as the mastectomy and the pills work, she will stay that way. If it has spread to any place else, she will immediately be considered stage 4 and the options for that are not nearly as nice.

You guys have been great, SI is a life forum, not just a forum for BS's and WS's.

I know that its main goal is to help people through infidelity, which ever the road may go.....but having the OT threads, it just makes it so much more then Surviving Infidelity....its more like Surviving Life in General!

(((Undef)))

That is not such bad news. I would make sure that she has clearance from her Dr before surgery, that they do at a minimum an EKG, if not a stress test.

She may be very healthy in appearance, but can some blockage in her heart vessels, that could lead to complications from surgery.

Anytime someone over the age of 75 gets anesthesia it's a big deal, and should warrant a cardiac workup prior to.

((((and strength))))

Sending you and your grandma continued strength and comfort. ((((hugs))))

Tushnurse - She gets all of that done on the 4th. I hope that everything comes back ok.

That's great Undef -

Now my other gems of wisdom include some other technical stuff, but this to ensure she has the best outcome possible.

Make sure that the Dr orders PT/OT (physical and occupational therapies). In the hospitals now, all to frequently the RN's, and Techs just dont have time to walk folks. If this doesn't happen for a day or two for someone in their 90's when they do get up they are weak as kittens.

The sooner she gets up and moving the better.

The family may want to make a plan on who will be staying with her at the hospital as well, in case she gets confused or agitated with the pain medications and anesthesia. Even the most on top of it patients can get confused, and it is a huge reassurance for the patient to have a family member in their room with them, especially at night.

Lastly make sure you talk with the Case Manager/Discharge Planner as soon as possible, to be sure you have all the help and tools you need when she is discharged. She will likely have limited movement of the arm on the affected side, and will need some help with simple things like cutting up food etc.

Wishing you all the best.

(((((Undef and Gma))))

Make sure that the Dr orders PT/OT (physical and occupational therapies). In the hospitals now, all to frequently the RN's, and Techs just dont have time to walk folks. If this doesn't happen for a day or two for someone in their 90's when they do get up they are weak as kittens.

Apparently this is already in the work and my mom will be in contact with the company providing the home care OT/PT after she gets home.

The family may want to make a plan on who will be staying with her at the hospital as well, in case she gets confused or agitated with the pain medications and anesthesia. Even the most on top of it patients can get confused, and it is a huge reassurance for the patient to have a family member in their room with them, especially at night.

My step father is retired, so he will be handling alot of her care, but then I think they plan to move in to her house for a little while.

They wanted her to stay with them, but my 2 brother's are living with my mom and step dad and its just to much comotion for Grama B.

Lastly make sure you talk with the Case Manager/Discharge Planner as soon as possible, to be sure you have all the help and tools you need when she is discharged. She will likely have limited movement of the arm on the affected side, and will need some help with simple things like cutting up food etc.

This is going to be the worst part of the whole thing. Grama B is very instistant that she keeps her independance, so I have a feeling that we will have to fight her a lot on this aspect.

We have also already contacted the place that will help her with the bras with the fill in it to keep her balanced and such.

Its so over whelming, to think at 92 she would have to deal with all of it. We try to help all the time, but she is a woman who just does it because she's so independant.

Well, her surgery went really well. They did a full mastectomy on the right side, and took a lymph node to have it analyzed.

Grama B is doing relly well and resting at my mom and step dad's house, but she homes to be back home on Saturday. We will see.

so far....so good.

Thanks for all the mojo!!

(((undef and Gma))))

Glad to hear all is well. Was thinking of yas yesterday actually.

Sounds like she is too stubborn to let anything really bad happen.

(((and mojo and strength))))