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Vent (#123)

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 click4it (original poster member #209) posted at 6:50 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

You're welcome.

You're welcome for planning a party at my home without communicating to me directly about it until 48 hours before via text message.

You're welcome for me being here the entire time celebrating your kids birthday (as well as several others) when your other family members did not show and you were disappointed.

You're welcome for having an awesome friend like myself, who did more than any of your family members have ever done for you.

I thought we were "like family" for such a long time, but what a fantasy I've lived in. We are not blood - I will never be in the same category as "family" to you. Even though I've always accepted all you and your family as mine, I've just been the good ol click who was always here when you needed something. Key word needed. I was never any value to you as a person.

I'm slowly backing off now. I'm not doing this anymore.

Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

posts: 25706   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2002   ·   location: California
id 6463031
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 6:54 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Hugs. Been there myself.

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6463035
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 click4it (original poster member #209) posted at 7:29 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Our kids are great friends. How do I back off without interfering with that?

I'm just in a pity party mode tonight because all I keep thinking is "well, here you are again...alone and with no one...your friend who you kept holding on to as a best friend, just isn't, so get with reality"...and when facing that reality...its the most depressing thing right now...its no big deal for her, she's got siblings and cousins so she'll never be alone. Me I have no siblings or cousins or aunts. But I do have my kids, my mom, my grandma, my step dad and an uncle who lives in another state. So, while I can't say I have no one, what I mean is someone who is my age in my family whom I can relate to, share with, etc. Anyone who is an only child with no cousins may understand this.

I'm sure I'll be out of pity party mode soon. Just need a place to vent.

Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

posts: 25706   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2002   ·   location: California
id 6463041
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:32 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Is this the friend who had an "extended" stay at your place last year?

Ugh... I'm sorry. At least you're detatching.

(((clicks)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6463042
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 click4it (original poster member #209) posted at 7:40 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Yes, its the same one who I come to vent about every so often.

I have to own my own shit here, because I've allowed the stuff that's bothered me to go on and then I still bitch about it. Its just a tough spot to be in and I sure as heck don't want to face it. But I'm getting to the point where I can't deal with it anymore.

I mean the way she handled this party was beyond ridiculous.

Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

posts: 25706   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2002   ·   location: California
id 6463044
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 9:10 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

You know you can vent away here!!

We don't usually just dump our friends... but it's almost harder to keep boundaries with the ones that take advantage.

Your "problem" is that you are a reasonable person, and you're holding out hope that some of these maroons will not take advantage of your goodwill. You have the curse of the compassionate, my dear.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6463061
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 12:03 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

(((Clicky)))

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6463100
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:47 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Blech. So sorry, click. ((((hugs))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6463255
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

(((click)))

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6463406
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LisaP ( member #15088) posted at 6:09 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

I was faced with a similar situation last year.

It's not easy.

((click))

Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2007   ·   location: Oregon
id 6463503
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 click4it (original poster member #209) posted at 6:54 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

thanks all. yes, I do have the curse of the compassionate, but also the curse of being "too nice". I've come a long way in this area, but when it still lingers around and I revert back to it like its second nature.

I guess we all come across this in at some point in our lives with friendships.

Just sucks.

Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

posts: 25706   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2002   ·   location: California
id 6463588
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