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I go in just a few hours to my GYN, whom I've know for years and he knows my husband, to ask for STD testing.

Why am *I* feeling embarrassed and humiliated? Because he knows my husband? I think maybe that's it....

I asked my husband to please do STD testing before we start MC. He said, "why? We are a long way from having sex again.". I explained that I was just worried about it and would rather he do it sooner than later.

He sort of agreed, but not really, so I will be anxious to see if he does it. Part of me thinks he won't because I'm afraid NC isn't being maintained...but, I can't control that right now and I'm trying to just let go of that for the moment.

Wish me luck and a clean bill of health.

I've been there. Three times actually. It is embarrassing. Just know that you're not alone

Sending Prayers. Waiting for the results was a stressful time. I had my fWS get her results written in hard copy from her Dr. Just so I would know it was true.

Sending prayers too.

I've been thru it but had to explain the reason to my new doctor whom I had never even met before.

I was mortified explaining it but she helped when she said something along the lines of "this is not the first time someone has come in for this situation".

it won't be the first time your GYN has heard it either.

try not to feel embarrassed by GYN knowing your WH. easier said than done of course. WH actions made the testing necessary so anything your GYN might think would be towards your WH, not you.

(((nekorb)))

I'm so sorry sweetie. Be been there, done that, and sadly, had a disease to show for it.

Please ask for every test in existence. And remember you will have to go back and be retested for HIV several times.

I am very concerned and disgusted that your H refuses to be tested. Frankly, I would make refusal to be tested a dealbreaker. No testing, skip straight to D. This is no joke, this is serious serious stuff.

Stay strong. The docs have seen these sad stories hundreds of times.

And, I second what Chico said, and I did the same thing he did. If and when you H does (if ever) get tested, make it a requirement that his results come directly to YOU so you can verify that he actually went. He will have to give his docs office permission to do this, so discuss this in advance. Remember, cheaters lie. Verify everything.

Stay strong, chances are everything will be fine. But if not, come on down to I Can Relate, where we have a thread dedicated to those of us with STD's.

((((Nekorb))))

Oh, and don't assume that if your results come back clean that he will not have to be tested. He could still be carrying something that simply has not shown up in you yet.

(((nekorb)))

While this is the first time you have to do this, do not worry or be concerned about being embarressed.

This something they see sadly on a daily or near daily basis. No Judgement will be made, and if it is, or you sense that it is, then that Dr. and his/her staff aren't worth going to in the first place.

Be proud that you are taking charge of your health and getting it done. I can also say I felt the same way when I went, and the Nurse Practitioner that I saw was amazing, comforting, and understanding. It made things a bit easier.

(((and strength)))

ps- tell your spouse that he's an even longer way of having sex again if he does not follow through and get tested.

If you're too embarrassed to see your OB-GYN, go to an urgent care center, if you can afford it. That way you won't be further embarrassed. Also, make sure you get the full panel of STD tests, including HIV.

He needs to do the same thing and please don't give in and have sex until you see his results in writing. Unfortunately with how HIV manifests, you'll need to get tested again in at least six months (the amount of time the HIV virus takes to manifest), as will he.

Make sure you get the full panel. Protect yourself and protect your health.

I've done it twice. The staff was very supportive. They do see it more than we want to think about.

You need full panel, blood and pelvic.

HIV

Herpes

Hepatitis

Chlamydia

Ghonnoreah

HPV

Syphilis

Everything!!!!

Well, I'm back. My GYN was great - very supportive. Did cultures including a urethral culture which HURT! yikes!

Then off to the lab for bloodwork....I'm sure it was my imagination, but I felt like every person that saw my lab requisition and knew what I was getting tested for was looking at me with pity. I tried to ignore it.

I'm home. I'm going to make eggs.

Yes - he will most definitely have to get tested before there is any sex. If he doesn't do it before our first MC appt in two weeks like I asked him too, I am going to bring it up at that appt with the counselor present.

Yes, I will get it in writing from the doctor's office.

((Nekorb))

Been in your shoes. Just know there are others out here to lean on.

((((nekorb))))

Hepatitis B was negative.

One down.

Whew.

So you're going to put yourself through the discomfort and humiliation of STD testing with your doctor who knows both of you, while you're being told, "Why? We are a long way from having sex again..." by your husband who feels it's beneath him to be tested.

Sounds as though it's still the "all about me," show with him, isn't it?

Well, at least ONE of you is working hard on reconciliation.

You deserve better, nekorb. Sending positive thoughts your way.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 10:38 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)]

More good news...

Gonorrhea and chlamydia both negative. I listened to the message three times to be sure.

Just waiting on HIV and syphyllis now.

Great news!

Curious if anyone has experience with the early detection RNA test for HIV?

Thinking ahead for my husband...

one thing that many people don't even think about is checking yourself for a condition called "molluscum contagiosum" you can check yourself for this fairly easily. The skin lesions look very similar to warts. If you find anything suspicious, I would recommend that you see a dermatologist to confirm and get them removed.