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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:30 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2013
EZ I think you know the answer to that question.
You won't be able to trust ever again.
Lets face it, most of us who went through the shitstorm, and come out R on the other side, know that if it were ever to happen again we'd be gone.
I know that I love my H, and I know he loves me, but if for some reason that crazy switch ever got turned back on that would be it I would done. I also know, and you do too, that we would be absolutlely fine.
Life is short, do you want to spend the rest of it second guessing yourself, your spouse? I get what you are saying abou the dogs, I do. Just be thankful that it's just dogs, and not kids. I am of firm belief that everything happens for a reason. This is your chance to decide what is next. The world lays before you. What you do with it is totally up to you.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 8:20 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2013
((Erzulie)) remember you as we'll. I totally understand the doggie mom thoughts.
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
Too_Trusting ( member #99) posted at 8:56 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Erzulie, bumping to see how you are???
"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies
erzulie (original poster member #3293) posted at 11:17 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Thank you so much for checking on me.
I am not doing well. My head hurts so bad, I can barely stand up or function. I know it is dehydration related ... I don't remember ever crying this much before. I have avoided alcohol entirely and just had a little coffee this morning ... and trying to drink a lot of fluids. Zero interest in food. And, my boobs ache. Maybe my hormones are mourning, too?
My emotions are all over the map.
Physically, I feel like a bomb went off in my heart. Nothing else is working properly.
I have to find a way to get my headache under control. And I know I need to eat, but I am so nauseous.
I want to call my mom, but I just can't.
A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".
Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.
Morhurt ( member #40166) posted at 11:57 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013
Oh my God, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I'm in tears for you.
I'm a (relative) newbie and I just find your story so heartbreaking.
I hope you can get some more fluids in you and kick the headache. You're so not alone.
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:03 AM on Sunday, September 8th, 2013
Can someone call your mom for you? I will--PM me and I can do it right away.
Your headache is likely dehydration and lack of food. Try and get something down. Regular Coca-Cola is always good--it tends to "de-nauseate."
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
hardtimesinlife ( member #10468) posted at 5:08 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
I'm so sorry, Erzulie
Please sip some water or gatorade. Your headache is making everything else seem worse. When you feel better you will have a different outlook.
I was so sad to see your post 
Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 5:22 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
..may i gently suggest that you follow your instincts and call your MOM.. that's what moms are for..
..hope you can lose the headache as well..
smy 
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:50 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Sweetie, can you call your doctor? He/she may be able to give you something to help you along for this horrid anxiety. I know how it feels to have a lump in your tummy and throat so great you can't get anything down.
I am so sorry
Huge hugs....
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
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