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4 months from dday and the divorce is in process. Last week she read my responses to the interrogatories and she now knows I know the extent and number of her affairs. SO..after months of cohabiting while the divorce proceedings took place, she is now "in fear for her life". I had to leave and tell my 4 kids goodbye yesterday. I have never been violent or even raised my voice during all this and only once called her a "cold hearted bitch". How can the system be so unfair....

My gosh angelback, I am so very sorry.

Please take care.

Hopefully your lawyer can help you get this taken care of.

Does your lawyer know about this? You can sue her for filing a false report and causing you emotional distress. Having to leave your home and your children is undue emotional distress. This won't look good for her in court because she can't prove any kind of behavior that would cause her to "fear for her life." What kind of mother does that to her kids. Try to refrain from contact with her. If she tries to provoke you into an argument andyou take the bait, she can use it against you.

It is unfair. I don't have answers for you, but how can she sleep at night? I simply cannot understand it.

Hang in there! You will get through this tough time.

Thanks all, I appreciate the support. My lawyers know now but I panicked and left when she told me what she planned because I was afraid I would be prevented from seeing the kids. My daughter begged me to take her with me but I know there are laws about that as well. I am exhausted and feel like she is winning at every turn. I can only rely on God now. I know that someday somehow things will be made right. It is amazing that someone I loved so much turns out to be such a monster. How could I have lived with her for 18 years without knowing who she really was?

Get a VAR and carry it with you at any time that you expect to see the kids or her. Ask your lawyer about notifying your local police about her threat so its on record in case she tries to pull this shit. And ask you lawyer about filing for complete custody based on her threats. Play hardball and protect yourself. (((hugs)))

Angel,

I think many of us on here are dumbstruck as to the complete personality change of the betrayer once they have been found out. I don't think anyone knows exactly why they turn angry at us, especially when they are the wrong doer. It just doesn't make sense. You're not alone. Mine has done the exact same thing.

Are they justifying?

Are they transfering?

Is it a manifestation of guilt?

Is it blind panic?

I just wish they could say sorry

So sorry Angel,

You are not alone. Mine is trying to build a case for me being some sort of abusive creature and not the loving father and husband I was. I fully expect a move like your WW has pulled on you. Very frightening.

We will get through this. Be strong and know who you are. She is the monster that needs restraining.

Angelback)))

Prayers for you that it will be ok in the end.

Thanks all. It is incredibly frustrating when you are trying to do what is best for the kids, but sometimes taking the high road leaves you open to the dirty tricks the other person can play. I do not want them used as pawns and I know in the coming years they will know the truth. For now they think dad bailed on them. I do believe that what one sows they also reap. Can't say I dont look forward to the day she gets hers.

(((((Angelback and kids)))))

I second Skan's post. If you don't already have a VAR, please get one and carry it with you. Include a witness whenever possible when you have to be near STBXWW.

Sending you strength.

Hey Angelback, my STBXWW did the same thing to me. That was two months ago. Can't go to the house, can't see the kids, can't do any maintenance on the house to get it sold. The problem is they are selfish. So much so they put themselves first before all others. They will do anything to make you and me look like the bad guys. It's just more of the same emotional and psychological abuse. Of course the courts side with the wives because if anything were to happen it would be the judges ass on the line. So who do you thinkk the judge will side with? It's all just part of the Waywards spewing of bullshit. Sorry you are living the same nightmare as me. Just to let you know I am doing fine though and will make it thru this with my head held high while she will have to live the rest of her life as a fraud. I saw her in court last week for the first time in 2 months. You know what she said to me? You are going to rot in hell Powerglo. I snickered...Be strong Angelback.

You know what she said to me? You are going to rot in hell Powerglo. I snickered...

Alternate ending? *No, I'm divorcing you!*

Ok, no, I don't really advocate poking the bear(bitch). Mine tried. Had something already in the system. I got word and my lawyer requested a hearing. The worst she could come up with was that I had left the oven on overnight and thereby endangered the family.

Yes, we used that in the custody hearing.

Strength to you both. Please protect yourselves at all times when dealing with them.

Strength

Alternate ending? *No, I'm divorcing you!*

Good one 54.

I've been going through this with my WH. All I can say is that the truth will come out. Stay calm, be logical, and stay focused on the facts and truth.

Whatever you do, don't put yourself in any situations where she can file false charges against you, like being alone with her. Always have people present for all of your interactions, even if you get a VAR. In my state, it's illegal to use one without consent of both parties. Use an abundance of caution in your dealings with her because you don't know how far she will push it.

I know it's draining and exhausting. It's part of the side show they do to distract us when they get desperate. All you can do is make sure she doesn't get any openings to do you more harm.

Hang in there. I'm finding that none of these tricks are new. Judges have seen it all before and can cut through the bs quickly.

As usual the support and advice I get here is worth more than all my family, friends and lawyers can provide. The last few days every email we have exchanged about the kids has included her comments on how scared she is. I have kept to the topic and been brief with no responses to her allegations. Her emails have become more lengthy and accusatory. I think it is getting to her that I am not taking the bait. You guys are awesome and it is great comfort to know the truth will come out and one day she will reap the rewards of what she has done. Thanks again.

Stay strong Angel. They do crazy shit when they get desperate.

Another innocent man who was fucked over by the law piping in here. First thing you need to do is to follow that order to the letter. Do not in any way shape or form violated it. You will have a hearing date to decide if the order is extended. Its at that time when you can defend yourself. Whatever she is accusing you of must be countered with hard evidence. Whatever you have pertaining to her affairs and subsequent D proceedings must be presented to the court to show she has motivation for filing such a claim. If you think your innocent till proven guilty think again. You need to prove your innocence here my friend. And that means the gloves need to come off now. Fuck the high road and trying to be civil. Your in the fight of your life and you need to defend yourself with anything and everything at your disposal. You must expose her to the world for what she really is. A lying cheating bitch who does not care how she gets what she wants. It war now my friend. Take no prisoners and show no quarter. Do it all within the letter of the law and you will be vindicated. But its time to take the nice guy hat off. Its time to get down in the dirt with her and defend your life. If you don't its only going to get worse. Trust me I have been there. Good luck my friend.

^^^^^^Ding Ding Ding^^^^^^^^

Absolutely. This must not be allowed to pass without a fight. Then take that and use it in the custody battle.

You are not to be feared, everything up until disclosure was OK. Now she needs a weapon against you. Prove it false. Then, use it against her.

Strength

This is her opening salvo to trying to get you to pay up the wazoo for her lifestyle and for her to have you pay CS while she gets to deny you the chance to see your children. This really IS war. Lawyer up and go for the throat or you may end up being one of those dads who never gets to see his children until they are old enough to demand to see you. (((hugs)))