SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Im having a hard time....OBVIOUSLY. I have scheduled a visit with my Dr to discuss depression. Lately Im having a hard time dealing with daily life. I get out of bed only bc my babies need me. I could care less about any of WH needs. Clean clothes for work? I could care less. Lunch for work? Dont care. Towel after a shower? Get it yourself. Im suffering from depression, anger and anxiety. I have stupid visions while hes at work and it makes me sick, the nights before he works I cant sleep and I cant eat the days hes at work. Im going to talk to my Dr about what I can do to help and Im wondering if for the time being I might need medications. Im really struggling with this, has anyone had to take meds for coping during this raw emotional time??

YES I think everyone deals with deep depression.

Go to the healing library a lot of that helped me realize it wasn't me or my fault the things he was blaming me for or him re-writing our history. That section is very helpful

I did take some medication I had here at home already but found out when it wore off I felt worse but talk to your dr about that

Right now take care of yourself and your kids very important!

I also had medical issues so long and too ridiculous to discuss from all the loss of sleep, food, anxiety, and out of control crying.

I never realized someone had that many tears in them. I still can think about certain things and instant tears better now cause been 3 yrs but still a nasty raw feeling

Everyone will tell you take care of yourself and time will help (not heal) but help

I went to see my Dr. last week and he put me on some antidepressants. Takes a couple weeks to notice the difference he says. I am just hoping when my mind is evened out and not bouncing thoughts all over the place I will be able to take time to heal and consider my future and stop staring at the walls all day. good luck, God bless.

My boys are the only things getting me by right now. They are my only true happiness in this upside down life Im living since Dday. Although there are times that I really feel love for my husband I still could care less about his needs. After all he discarded me for a dumb slut who sought him out, stroked his ego and he let go of boundaries and screwed her. I dont think he deserves me to care, he can take care of himself. My babies on the otherhand are the only constant things in my life that have brought me nothing but joy, WH brought me sorrow, shame and immense pain....I could care less. Due to his careless infidelity I am struggling to do the daily things I previously enjoyed without forcing myself.

I lost 26lbs in a month, and I sleep maybe 3 hours a night. I dont know how to change these things that seem to have become habits....

I took a nutritional supplement that supports brain chemistry called Neurolink. Stopped long crying fits within 20 minutes. I could function again. It's amino acids and B6 and it's not addictive. I am really sensitive and did not want to get my system thrown out of balance with the wrong medication in the wrong amount and then get addicted. This was a really useful and gentler alternative. It was formulated by Dr. Amen who runs brain scan clinics. If you ever watch PBS you probably have seen him.

thank yo uinnerlight, i will look into that

After my adult children witnessed what a mess I was they made an appointment for me to see the Dr. She prescribed anti-depressants, anti-anxiety (for those really desperate moments), and sleep aids. They literally saved my life. I went from 125 to 88 pounds during the early traumatizing months. I have never had to rely on meds before, but nothing has ever compared to the excruciating pain of betrayal. It has been 18 mos since first dday. Still...one day at a time...good days and bad days. Get medical help if you need it. Keep your chin up:) Hugs!

This is my first response to any thread, though I have read nearly every thread in every forum here since d-day six weeks ago. I am the BS, ww had an ea that was about to become a pa when confronted. Anyway, in the weeks leading to the A as I became more aware of it, I became more and more depressed; no appetite, disrupted sleep, insomnia, uncontrollable thoughts, etc etc etc. I knew I was depressed and knew I needed help to clear my mind and think straight so I made an appointment with my regular doctor. There was no judgment...I simply told him I was having marital problems and was depressed. We talked (nothing intrusive) to make sure I wasn't having any other issues (suicide, homicidal thoughts, etc) and he prescribed an antidepressant. Most take time, and most have side effects of some sort. Our MC suggested I talk to him about switching meds, which he happily agreed to do because of some of the side effects of his initial choice. I've been on Zoloft now for about five weeks, and it has made a huge difference. My mind is clearer. I am not tortured by my thoughts. I am able to more calmly discuss R with my w, and I am able to more rationally discuss both of our roles in both of our A's. We are in a somewhat complicated place, because we are each the BS and the WS. In some ways it makes it easier for us to acknowledge our own shit, because neither of us can claim a moral high ground. We are working hard, communicating better, and have hope for a better future.

[This message edited by NJdadof4 at 12:25 PM, December 9th (Monday)]

I did not seek any medical help for many months after D-day. I thought I could tough it out and deal with it on my own. Pretty soon my life was in the toilet and my WW was flushing the bowl. It was around that time I found this site. Almost every member here suggested I seek medical and/or mental help. Naturally I did not listen to the advice I was given and I became so ill I almost lost my life. I had lost so much weight as I could not eat. I could not sleep or even perform the basic functions of my job. I developed a stress related bleeding ulcer that was not helped by the fact I was drinking just to get through the nights. I was sick for weeks until I passed out on a NYC subway train due to loss of blood caused by the internal bleeding of the ulcer. Next thing I remembered was being taken to a hospital for blood transfusions and emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. My BP was so low they thought I was going to die before I got to the ER. I was in and out of consciousness the whole time. I woke up after the surgery and the Doctor started questioning me about what was going on in my life. I finally fessed up and spilled my guts. After 5 days in the hospital I was released with follow up visits for the post surgery progress and most importantly a referral to a shrink. I followed his advice and got myself on some meds. I have to honestly say that once I was regulated on my meds my life did a 180. I really feel that medication not only saved my career and health. It literally saved my life. I strongly urge you see a professional and do whats needed to get your health back.

I just started an antidepressant 2 weeks ago and something for anxiety. I'm having a hard time getting through this. Each day just more of the same....tears and pain. I'm also struggling to get food down. Sleep is barely 3 hours a night and that broken. I'm hoping something breaks soon...otherwise I'm afraid it will be me. Take care...I'm sorry you have to go through this.

OMG Stonger that is TERRIBLE! Im so happy to hear that you are doing better but damn that makes my heart hurt for you

The soonest my Dr can see me is the 17th, Im thinking Monday I will be sick and have to go in for a visit. I cant wait that much longer.

I'm taking ativan for anxiety.

I'm on anti depressants to deal with the severe depression and anxiety I suffer thanks to the A. Best move I made post DDay. I can now sleep and function, and best of all, think clearly.

I'm taking Seroquel Xr and Remeron for depression. It does help a bit but it sort of leaves me like a zombie at times. At least I'm getting the sleep I so desperately needed in order to function at work. I also take a supplement fish oil, b3, and multivitamin. I hope to get off the seroquel soon. I'm still just as depressed but am sleeping now which was the goal.

I was prescribed anti-depressants when I was going through very beginning and had suffered from very deep depression because of FWW ONS, TT'ing, gas lighting, etc. I made a couple of really poor choices and wound up in the psych ward a couple of times. I was able to get help and the message that they really tried to pound into my head was the pills will only get you so far and that there are studies that show that exercise is a key element to overcoming depression. It was difficult to start a regimen but was instrumental in my recovery. We all know the feeling when just breathing seems difficult enough but getting physical will begin to make a difference.

The only other advice I'll add to what everyone else has posted is to second how exercise can be a fantastic medicine on its own. There are a ton of natural endorphins released as part of exercising, and it really helps to clear the mind. It also helps with sleep, as you body understands the language of exercise - it KNOWS it needs to heal the physical toll that exercise takes, and that sometimes can help with sleeping.

I started running about 4 months ago, and it has been a godsend. I started small. Running and walking, and slowly built up to the point where my normal morning runs are 3-5 miles. They are 40 or so minutes where my brain is clear and the thoughts stop. At some point you just get into a zone, and your mind will find ways to distract you from the effort, and it seems to pick what it wants you to think about on its own. And after I run, I meditate and stretch, and do deep breathing exercises, and they help as well.

Meds can help - I have something that I can take for when things get really bad (xanax), but there are other things that I think can help just as much, and exercise is at the top of that list.

[This message edited by ontheslope at 10:41 AM, September 30th (Monday)]

I resisted getting on antidepressants for awhile. My reasoning was that I wanted to be totally aware of what I was experiencing - did not want to dull it at all, did not want to make the mistake of minimizing that it "is not so bad..." Another reason was that I did not want to gain weight because I am in the process of losing a lot of weight. One of my friends who has had a history of depression shared her story when I confided in her about H's affair and she urged me to get on antidepressants. I'm really glad I took her advice and went to the doctor. I'm taking Wellbutrin and it has helped a lot. With the combination of therapy and Wellbutrin (and Ativan as needed), I'm getting through this. I've beenon Wellbutrin about 3 months now and I'm crying a lot less and feel stronger and more capable of making better decisions.

Forlornheart - my heart aches for you and I feel your pain. I often felt like I was going to have a breakdown. The pain of betrayal is completely debilitating- crippling emotionally/mentally/physically. Meds don't make it go away, but they do help you to somehow cope through each day. I think I am stronger now than I was 18 months ago. I don't cry all the time. I am still very sad/depressed, but the gut wrenching pain is not as bad. Take care of yourself. Thinking about you

Yes! After getting to the point where I was suicidal. I really regret waiting so long to get help....

Paxil

Ativan

Ambien

I have got strong enough in the last 3 months to file for divorce. The meds and the support of friends and this site have turned my life around.

Lifesavers:

My wonderful support system of family and friends who never seem to tire of me needing to talk about this so I can heal.

This website - you guys are in the "trenches" with me and completely understand.

Zoloft

Klonopin

Ambien

I want to someday be the "helper", not the "helpee".