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RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 6:16 AM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
Does the AP think they're that much better?
I doubt it, MOW would need to have a brain to do that. Her BH referred to her as a "moron" for a reason.
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 11:13 AM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
After the initial rush of the "new and different" I think my H's LTA made them both feel like crap most of the time. She would cry when he would rush off and whine about being "lonely" and being "treated like a whore". He called it toxic. No words of love were shared and I was never discussed.
I think she knew all along that she was nothing, but was so desperate she accepted it. He knew all along that she would accept anything he gave and was so damaged that he continued.
Yeah, she never thought she was better. And she never was, in any way, at any time.
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
daisychains ( member #37997) posted at 1:44 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
Interesting question - but in all honesty why would I care what either ow thought of me - the only way they could have formed an opinion is from a man that was (in his own words) looking for an affair and had two.
What I do think though is that they thought they were better for my fwh than me - that he was a decent guy who deserved to be happy and they were the gals to do it.
StrongerOne ( member #36915) posted at 1:53 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
My H's MCOW did think she was better than me in some ways, but she didn't get to express it to my H much. He apparently had lots of really nice things to say about me -- I know, because she complained about it!-- and he shut her down when she badmouthed me. She actually had to apologize to him for it.
His A wasn't about me -- and he couldn't pretend they were just friends if she was talking me down.
In fact, she was full of self-loathing for pursuing him and the A, but she kept doing it anyway. She recognized just how weak and pathetic she was. Too bad it took my H so long to recognize it as well 
topperoff22 ( member #40762) posted at 2:03 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month
topperoff22 ( member #40762) posted at 2:03 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
Another great one because it soo relates to my situation!
I doubt it, MOW would need to have a brain to do that. Her BH referred to her as a "moron" for a reason.
BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 2:18 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
Both my Fws OW were after my life. I can only assume they prayed they would be good enough to win my spouse over. I told my spouse you want to live like dirt go live with it.
Even now to look at them is pathetic!
Nasty nasty if I was FWS IDK how they live with touching something so nasty ugly! Just EWWW!
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
hopingforhappy ( member #29288) posted at 3:22 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
I don't really know what she thought about herself, although I have to assume not much, given what she was willing to do and how little she was willing to settle for by taking up with MM. But, I do know that she tried very hard to convince my FWH that she was much better than me. FAIL.
Me--BW (57)
Him--FWH (54)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 21 years
DS-19, DD-16
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 3:27 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2013
What I do think though is that they thought they were better for my fwh than me - that he was a decent guy who deserved to be happy and they were the gals to do it.
Me too Daisy...I think ow thought /thinks, that she is better for him than I. I think she's on to something but more like they are more alike because I'm nothing like that skank.
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
LivinginLimbo ( member #35004) posted at 1:26 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
I'm sure she does. After all, it must be extremely difficult to find random men on the internet to have sex with.
Sadly, I just don't have that skill set. 
BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years
D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.
wannabenormal ( member #19772) posted at 9:01 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
For the OP's that even care - I think they totally believe they're better than the BS...the WS is WITH (OP) them, right? They must pretty damned special.
kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 9:19 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Affairs are fantasies. They are not conducted as a real life situation. They are shrouded in the fog of teen-age lust and fun, but rarely stand up to real-life scrutiny. I think that is a big part of the shame that busted WS's have to confront when the party is over.
I know that my husbands affair partner thought she was the end-all love of my husbands life. She needed the validation that he was feeding her. She was not what he needed and that culminated on him cheating on her. My husband had been faithful for thirty years of our marriage. But with her, he cheated on her in a few years. The funny thing is that she was devastated and told him she never thought he would do that. What an idiot.
It was very hard for my husband to tell me that there had been a couple of other women involved during his affair, but truthfully, it was the best news that I had. I was thrilled. It hurt her and made me know that she wasn't what he was looking for. So, if she thought she was so much better than me, she got a rude awakening.
The AP is NEVER better than us. They are whores and exist in a fantasy world and they always lose.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Laura28 ( member #28997) posted at 10:39 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
An OW is kind of like having a dog, if you think about it. Dogs will love you unconditionally, even if you don't deserve it. They're also very anxious to please their masters, much like an OW. The exception between the two is that dogs don't lower themselves to rutting in backseats of cars, staircases, elevators, public parks and the like. Ok..I take back the public parks thing.
Love it!!!
Sorry. But in response to the question - clearly they don't think at all. If they did they would see clearly that they are not. If they were they wouldn't be an AP.
HUGS
Laura
Married 42yrs Me BW 68Yrs Him F?WH 70yrs OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted. Dday May 28 2010. OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years). OW2 2002(8yrs PA). OW3 2009(1Yr PA). Others?? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck 'em"
Marathonwaseasy ( member #40674) posted at 11:10 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
My FWH OW really is the stupidest ever
After a few months she started criticising him, what he wore, how he has his hair, constantly
Like she had him and then wanted to change him
Of course I'm better than her
I spoke to her after dday. Her view on the relationship was exactly like a teenage crush. Laughable. Seriously my 12 year old has more idea about real life
Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
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