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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:00 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
Um..what?? YOU need to "learn to let it go"??
You're dday was less than a year ago. The closer a BS gets to dday...especially that first dday antiversary,the more stressed they become. So your anger is normal.
It takes 3-5 years to heal from this shit.
And with him still blaming YOU for his cheating *and* saying he has had it with you being upset about it and wants to D...it's no wonder you are angry.
It's great that the MC told him this all lies at his feet...but I think telling you that you need to let it go is crap advice.
((((letitout))))
[This message edited by confused615 at 2:02 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:27 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2013
It's great that the MC told him this all lies at his feet...but I think telling you that you need to let it go is crap advice.
I agree. Maybe after a couple of years. I am just now getting to a point where I am starting to let it go and I am 20 months out from DDay. This is only because my WH is owning his A and has answered all my questions and is working hard towards our M right now. It wasn't always like this though, my WH was unremorseful for A LONG time.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
letitout (original poster member #38288) posted at 12:52 AM on Friday, October 11th, 2013
Thanks for all of your advise and support, it means a lot to me. Hopefully I won't be doing that again for a long while. I will come on here and cry on your shoulders.
ps. My job. The nurse walked out today and so did I. So much for a good first job after 10 years of SAHM. We are going back in to have a meeting with our boss to try to work out the issues. I don't need this added stress right now.
I feel like I have to be happy at home now and at work. I feel pretty miserable.
I'm not suicidal or anything, but some days I wonder if it would really matter if I were gone.
BW 57, WH 66, 19 yo twins
Married 28 years
2 years of $$$$$$ prostitutes.
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