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nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 7:22 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I wrote a few months ago that my mom is receiving hospice care. This morning, on the advice of the hospice staff, my dad made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw future feeding and let mom go.
I am spending today sitting by mom's bedside, holding her hand, and reassuring her that it's ok to let go. It may be a week or two before she passes, or this may be my last moments with her. Either way, nothing has been left unsaid, and I am at peace.
Or so I think. My heart has a different opinion, it seems.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Myname ( member #23138) posted at 7:25 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I'm sorry NIK. (((()))) 
DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 45
12-08-10: S
Divorced and moved on with my life.
boontje ( member #33247) posted at 7:26 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don't have the strength.
--Theodore Roosevelt
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 7:28 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((NIK)))
lost_in_toronto ( member #25395) posted at 7:30 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Me: BS/48
Him: WS/46
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 23 years.
Reconciled.
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 7:32 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I'm so sorry, NIK. I was in a similar place 2 years ago.
Enjoy the precious little time you have left to hold her hand.
(((((biggest hugs)))))
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 7:34 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((NIK and family)))
The heart is never in the same place as what has to be done during such difficult moments. She knows you are there and you love her, that is enough. She's OK because she knows her family loves her and are there with her.
Sending strength and prayers.
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 7:37 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((((NIK))))) my dad just died so I know what you are going through. May I make a suggestion? Can you tell your mom:"Mom, I forgive you for everything."
I didn't have a chance to tell my dad before he died. But I did tell him afterwards. -I think they need to hear us say it to them. I know they try their best but I bet they feel they let us down at times...
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:38 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((NIK)))
I am so happy that you have been afforded the opportunity to make this lsat bit of time with her peaceful.
((((and peace, and strengthto you and your family))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 7:41 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((NIK)))
I get this. It was the same with my grandmothers and while I found questions later, at the time, they knew the important stuff and I knew they loved me, which was really all that mattered.
I still talk to them alot. In the car, on a walk, and in a pinch I just say WWGD?
What would Grama's Do?...cause they were the smartest, sweetest, nicest women you would never want to piss off 
I am so sorry this is happening. I am praying for you and your family.
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 7:44 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
((((NIK)))) Prayers for the whole family.
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 7:47 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
My prayers for all of you.
I remember these moments with my mom. Truly treasured moments that brought me much peace. My prayer is that is what you experience as well.
(((nik & family)))
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 7:47 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((NIK)))
I'm glad you are at peace.
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 7:50 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
((((NIK))))
Prayers going up for you and your whole family.
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 7:51 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 7:54 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 7:56 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 7:56 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Sending good thoughts to you and your parents and family
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
woundedwidow ( member #36869) posted at 8:08 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
My prayers are with you, your Mom, and your family. I wish I had had the chance to say "goodbye" to my Mom; those are such precious moments. (((NIK)))
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
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