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Dr. Laura fans ??

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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 5:03 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Does anyone on here watch/read/listen to dr. Laura ??

In my early marriage life I read her books about being a good wife etc...I think there is something to it...but since my H's affairs etc almost everything she writes or has on her website upsets me anymore. Today in my inbox I got this article and I am like WTC??? The article is about a woman who lets her husband watch porn and how its good for their marriage--ok fine if that's what you want...but the part that just irks me is that she says that the women who don't like their husbands watching porn are just jealous and they actually create the problems in the marriage if they complain about their husbands needs. Ok ummmm I disagree.

care to discuss this??

last week her article also upset me when it was about the topic of "being proud of your husbands". I used to be proud...but sometimes his actions do actually embarrass me when it concerns the pursuit of OW. So i was down for several days about this. I want to be proud of him but how can you be when he has lied and betrayed me so many times. I forgive him and accept him but you know, things are just different now...until he earns back that respect and trust.

there have other articles too that upset me... I just try to not read her anymore.

http://www.drlaura.com/b/Do-Some-Research-With-Your-Husband/-980058142108963907.html?utm_campaign=1011do-research-with-husband&utm_medium=letter&utm_source=email&utm_content=10.14.13&utm_term=link

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6527030
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 5:05 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6527033
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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 5:07 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

where is the laughing hyserical smiley--too funny.

yeah sometimes \i think she is bit out there

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6527034
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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 5:11 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Unsubscribe from the emails.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6527039
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heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 5:17 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The world is full of different beliefs they are like assholes we all have one

I believe in some marriages were infidelity hasnt been an issue porn might work but when infidelity touches the marriage the whole dynamics of that marriage changes.

We could use more church and religious beliefs and less sex and porn in this world. JMO!

I never cared for Ms. Lauras opinions!

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

posts: 3225   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2009   ·   location: Indiana
id 6527046
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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 5:21 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

well she presents herself as a very religious person...I think she is jewish. Which is why \i am so upset. I don't see how anyone can present themselves in a religious light and say that porn is OK.

But it wasn't that she said porn was ok--it was that those who DON'T like their H's viewing it are actually CAUSING all the problems in the marriage since the man has ego needs. "Those who won't let their H's view porn are taking a baseball bat to their H's ego's...." ummm what about the woman's ego's???

you are right I NEED to unsubscribe to her like yesterday.

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 11:22 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6527051
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wert ( member #34478) posted at 5:37 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.

You consistently make me laugh rebreather.

ionlytalkedtoher -

Dr laura is harmful to a persons soul. IMO she teaches manipulation and 'techniques' not honest communication and truth through actions. In short, she is a quack and full of shit.

Do yourself a favor and stop listening to her...

Alternatives?

Gottman- anything he has written

Not Just Friends - for the A stuff

Self improvement - Act with Love and anything by Brene Brown - if you are a video watcher...try her Ted Talk on vulnerability.

take care...

posts: 1520   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012
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roses303 ( member #40161) posted at 6:08 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Want a good laugh. OW sent me a copy of Dr. Laura's The Care and Keeping of Husbands right before or it may have been during the first affair with WH. She insisted it was the best thing that ever happened to her marriage and wanted me to read it so I could have the same loving marraige she and her husband have.

I had to give it away after the chapter where she blamed the wife for her husband's leaving her because she selfishly went away to take care of her dying mother and neglected her husband.

Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

posts: 141   ·   registered: Aug. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: roses303
id 6527101
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 6:12 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Oh boy...A Dr. Laura thread:

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 6527107
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 6:14 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

@ Harden.

I read somewhere where she put shrimp shells and dead fish in a curtain rod once.

Leaving...yes, I'm leaving.

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6527110
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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 6:41 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

oh my gosh--never heard that about the dying mom? and oh my I am lauging now. Gonna go get some popcorn. Ok I guess I am the only dumb one that used to like her...lol.

what the heck is the story about a curtain rod and shells?? why would she do that?? oh my!

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6527142
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ReunitePangea ( member #37529) posted at 7:01 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.

I agree.

Dan Savage probably will provde you better marriage advice compared to Dr. Laura.

BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

posts: 489   ·   registered: Nov. 16th, 2012
id 6527173
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1ost0ne ( member #40202) posted at 7:06 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Harden that is hilarious.

If you want 2 minutes of advice, I guess she's fine. I wonder what most MC and ICs would say if 120 seconds.

I listened to one of her calls with a BS that found out about an affair 10 years later. It was over and the WW was an otherwise loyal wife. She told the BS to "man up and get over it." She came back and he did not noticed when the affair was going on.

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

posts: 96   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2013
id 6527182
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BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 7:19 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

You know, my first thought when reading that article was anger and annoyance. Porn has been ABSOLUTELY nothing but disruptive and destructive to my marriage and to hear light hearted advice about "it's just research" makes me want to punch that woman in the throat.

But then, I thought about it some more. I have NEVER had a serious problem with porn in a relationship. Because...it hasn't been a problem in a relationship. If I am getting laid 6 times per week and H watches some porn because I'm not home every second of the day, or because waking me up in the middle of the night three times when I have to work early is freaking rude- fine. Porn became a problem when H- all on his own- decided to go a step further and actually converse with other women and sext with them. When you are participating and sending pictures of yourself and talking to people- real people from the internet who live in the area- that is no longer "just" porn. He decided to watch porn instead of having sex with me- he watched porn and then would be too tired or out of energy for sex later. THAT was when porn became a problem.

It is hard to tailor advice to fit for everyone. In normal, healthy marriages in which the couple is having sex, infidelity has NOT been a previous issue, and porn isn't something that either of the partners have a huge adversion to- this advice might work out well. In my marriage, there are different circumstances, so this advice doesn't fit.

Unsuscribe to the e-mails since her advice doesn't fit with your values and your marriage.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."

posts: 879   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2013
id 6527199
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 7:47 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Dr. Laura... Isn't that the lady who helped break up her current husband's first marriage? According to wikipedia (who uses the words "affair" and "infidelity" far less than I would wish when calling people out), he was a married father of three children, and he left his family to begin living with her.

Had she been remorseful, I might ponder her advice. But she hasn't been even remotely, and her poor advice reflects that.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6527230
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 7:56 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

Yes, she is a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6527238
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TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 8:10 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

To be a fan of Dr. Laura is equivalent to being a fan of ignorance.

IMHO...

Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!

Them : in the past, where they can stay.

posts: 961   ·   registered: Jun. 25th, 2013
id 6527265
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unfound ( member #12802) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I'll take "Who's more qualified to give infidelity advice than Dr Laura" for $1000 Alex.

Who is Dr Scholl, Dr Dre and Dr Pepper.

Not a fan.

[This message edited by unfound at 2:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]

ka-mai
*************
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."

posts: 14949   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2006   ·   location: mercury's underboob
id 6527302
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StrongerOne ( member #36915) posted at 8:44 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

She's not Jewish. Her father was Jewish, but her mother was Catholic. She does not seem to have been brought up practicing Judaism, either. So, not Jewish.

Just wanted to be sure that no one connected her viewpoint (I'm trying to be nice!) with Judaism in any way!

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

posts: 1020   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2012
id 6527310
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ReunitePangea ( member #37529) posted at 8:59 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I'll take "Who's more qualified to give infidelity advice than Dr Laura" for $1000 Alex.

......Doctor Suess, Dr Watson, and the guy who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

posts: 489   ·   registered: Nov. 16th, 2012
id 6527343
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