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WaWaNJ (original poster member #28820) posted at 9:17 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013
I removed myself as a choice.
I feel worse.
I am still in anti nausea pills.
Lost 16 lbs.
I feel like my brain is on amphetamines (not that I know what that's like) and thoughts are whirling and I don't know what to trust or what to do.
Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013 Dday3: may 2016
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...
Chippednotbroken ( member #40170) posted at 9:22 PM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013
I'm working on gettin out. I hear it gets better -- like going from hotdogs to steak better. Don't give in to the sorrow or fear. Keep strong if not for you then for the rest of us. We all need lights. You are going to be fine. Somebody remind me of this when my turn comes.
Me 34 (former BS)
Happily Divorced November 17, 2014.
3 young kids all under 9.
"I'm sorry you don't like my honesty. But to be fair, I don't like your lies."
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:44 PM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
(((WaWa))))
Your brain feels that way because it's in a Fight or Flight mode.
You chose to remove yourself, and honestly if was a second time around it was a smart choice. He has clearly showed you who he is.
Know this - You deserve better, you deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and above all respect. He is incapable of that.
You also did NOTHING to cause this, and your gift of R the first time was more than enough to be content with knowing you did what you could.
If you are still strung out, and frantic, and cant stop the brain, and aren't able to eat or sleep, please talk to your dr about something for anxiety.
I remember in the early days I went days and days without real sleep, it made it so much more difficult to keep my emotions in check. I found the antianxiety medications stopped my brain, and allowed me to get real sleep, and that in turn allowed me to be strong, and control the negative thoughts.
Do one nice thing for you today. Even if it's small. Take a nice long bath, get a pedi, read a book (non A related), watch a Will Farrell movie, something to make you feel happy.
You have a new start, and you will come out the other side of this stronger than you could have ever imagined.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 2:57 PM on Friday, November 8th, 2013
(((WaWaNJ)))
You WILL come out of this stronger! I read your profile, and 3 years is more than generous time to wait for him to get his head out of his butt! Time's up, Idiot! You lose!
Take your beautiful daughter and get away from him. He's toxic. You can do this!!!
Please keep posting. We are here for you, cheering you on!!!!
(((More Hugs)))
*Edited for profanity. I just hate when they are too stupid to see all they have!! You deserve soooo much better!!!
[This message edited by Raven96 at 9:02 AM, November 8th (Friday)]
Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?
WaWaNJ (original poster member #28820) posted at 12:21 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
We are going to work on it.
I dont know thats the right thing yet
Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013 Dday3: may 2016
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...
Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 12:27 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Oh I am so so sorry... I don't know but he's been lowing to you for how long now.. You deserve better. You are strong and he is a POS that doesn't deserve you.
If you want to work it out but from reading your first line it doesn't seem like he did anything in the past to help you or himself.
Sending lots of HUGGSSS
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
sri624 ( member #33956) posted at 12:44 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
you are a strong woman...doing what you have to do. i respect you for that. even if this is just what you have to do for right now.
i know the feeling all too well...the discovery of another a. i was in false r before i found out my h was cheating with another woman he met on the internet.
you do get stronger. keep your bitchboots on nice and tight.
BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance
Offhispedestal ( member #32528) posted at 12:45 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
WawaNJ...I'm so sorry, we share the same DDay month and year. April is when I first saw them of course I didn't even know it was a DDay because he denied etc....
I think this is every BS worst nightmare. I know the hell you are in. I know that darkness. I know your mind doesn't allow you to rest. The 2nd DDay is worst in my opinion. I don't know what's driving you to stay this time. My mind tells you that he obviously didnt learn a single thing to put you through this again. He's not worth a second chance he's in panic mode and is promising to do anything for you to stay. I totally understand that tug in your heart that wants this to work, that wants your life back. I will never ever understand WS that last a few years and bam! Do this again? He can't possibly understand the pain he's just caused you. I'm angry for you. I know your mind feels crazy right now. Please try somehow to get some rest. Your daughter needs you.😔
I'm so sorry
ME-48
WH-49
Married 27
2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)
In R
doggiediva ( member #33806) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
((( WaWa)))
If you guys are gonna try to work things out, I would make a post nup agreement that is drawn up by your lawyer ( one that is heavily in your favor should you S or D) a non arguable condition of R...
It is enough stress to find out that our WS's are still lying and cheating, but it really sucks big time to have to worry about food and shelter for ourselves because our stupid WS's turned our lives upside down..
You will know in almost a heartbeat how remorseful your WH is and if he truly cares about you and your kiddo's welfare as much as he cares about his own..
I hate to say it but in my experience an un remorseful WS won't take the gamble on R if there is any risk to his/her livelihood involved...They rarely put their money where their mouthes are..
Sending you strength...
[This message edited by doggiediva at 8:27 PM, November 11th (Monday)]
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
63 years young..
WaWaNJ (original poster member #28820) posted at 1:14 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
Thx guys. I was ok but I am not sure... Again
Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013 Dday3: may 2016
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...
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