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Take care of yourself right now. I am sure he gets it. He just can't believe he was caught! They think they are so smart being sneaky.

Just wanted to let everyone know I am doing ok. WH is sleeping in our basement right now. For the first time in 25 yrs I went out the other night and didn't leave a note to tell him where I was or who I was with. I didn't answer my phone the whole night and didn't come home until late. He was not a happy camper! I pulled into driveway and he was right on me...where were you, why didn't you answer phone? I just looked him in the eye and said " that is really none of your business considering we are currently separated as far as I am concerned". He had a meltdown, went on and on about how he thought I was just being pissy and was giving me time to calm down. My response was "I am calm! So calm I spoke with a lawyer today" and I walked away. I then refused to speak with him further and went to my room and locked the door.

He is very upset and suddenly realizes that I mean business. I am done with his bullshit! Today he spent texting me begging for another chance and I came home to flowers and gifts. I laughed and said words and gifts are cheap, it's actions that count now, then left for the evening. Just got home and headed straight for bed.

I don't want to loose my marriage, but I am done with the crap. If he thought I was a bitch about things before, this time he doesn't even recognize me. Three people do not a marriage make and he needs to figure that out. If it takes a set of divorce papers to get him to wrap his brain around it, then so be it. Ball is totally in his court as far as any kind of R is concerned. It is going to take allot to make me even consider it though. Terms and conditions that I don't even want to get into here.

Just livin my life on my terms right now and to hell with the rest! Thank you everyone for your support.

EG

AMEN Sister! A.M.E.N.

I am impressed with your strength! Stay strong...

EG, what strength and grace you're able to muster, you're just incredible!

Stand strong for what you need without compromise, you deserve that and so much more.

Hugs to you, as brave as you are this isn't easy...

Thank you everyone. Your kind words and encouragement are what keep me strong. I was raised to hold my head high no matter the situation and always handle anything while keeping my dignity intact.

Stay strong, emotionalgirl...it is so hard..but you deserve better...they freak out when they know the life they so cavalierly threw away is on the line, so to speak..but you can only trust your inner voice and gut and go from there...sending you very big hugs..

Well fellow SI'ers, I am still living an in house separation. He is begging everyday when he manages to catch me not to go through with a D.

Tonight I met him at the door when he got home from work and demanded he hand over his phone. Interestingly, he has blocked her number and has deleted her picture. A couple of weeks ago when I found the picture he denied it was her, told me some fabricated story about who it was and refused to delete when I asked him to. I handed his phone back to him and walked away not saying anything. He begged me to tak to him. I just told him my mother taught me if I have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all!

I am not saying that this is going to stop me from seeing a lawyer, but I have a slim amount of hope that he is coming to realize what he has to loose. Meanwhile I am taking care of me and only me! I hold all the cards and he is almost out of chips! Time will tell.

Good job emotional girl.

I would indeed see a lawyer and keep the D process going strong. It is a long and tedious process to D, so you can still progress much further even if you decide to pull the plug on it later. This will continue to show your WS that you mean business and it's not some cutesy little side fling that you should just overlook any more.

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. In-house separation sucks.

I'm glad living your life for YOU. Go out more, focus on hobbies, make it very clear that you are moving on with your life WITHOUT HIM. Like they say, the only way to save the marriage is to be willing to end it. Many a foggy WS needs this mortal terror before they wake up and see the writing on the wall.

Good luck to you!

Thanks medium rare. I am still planning to follow through with the D process, I know I don't have to file in the wend if the asshat straightens out. To be honest he is already showing signs of mortal terror just from me being out most evenings and him not knowing where I am.....kind of enjoying terrorizing him. Oops may e that's mean of me to say, but it is true.

The in house separation isn't bad here. He lives in the basement and doesn't really need to come upstairs at all. I have made it abundantly clear he isn't welcome! Add that to the fact that most nights I go out, even if just to a movie and just to piss him offa bit. It's not bad at all.