SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I guess I have the record. 9 years, 2 months and 26 days. Yes, I'd still like to and no, I doubt if I will ever again. Thanks EX. Why couldn't he have decided he was "unhappy" 30 years ago?

Eighteen months after D-day #2. That was the longest I went without since I was 16 years old. I was afraid I would hurt the first guy after the D was over (9 months). It turned out to be a bad relationship, but I don't regret that part.

NL

I was JUST thinking about this. I think I went one year. WAY. TOO. Long. and prior to that I had one orgasm in 10 yrs. it sucked.

I wont go that long again, even if I need to hook up once in while with someone half decent. I have no plans for dating tho.

Five years and five months, not counting the years his head was somewhere else when he was with me....

If it comes along again, fine. If not, fine.

Life goes on.

Wow, long stretches here. I'm still a baby compared to some of you.

Sex sex sex.....a source of joy and pain likewise. Despite my raging hormones, I'm careful to make sure I really knos someone before I give of myself like that again. If I see any red flags, you're out. So easy to break up with someone if you haven't had sex with them.

Lovemaking? What is this thing called lovemaking? Do you have to bake it or fry it?

I would say the last time I "thought" I made love was about 6 years ago. The last time I had sex was about a year and a half ago.

A year and 2 months since sex during false R. The thought of that makes me want to throw up. A good 2-3 years since love-making.

The last time I truly "made love" (as opposed to sex) was the night before D-day: November 11, 2012. STBXWW and I had one of the most intimate, beautiful nights ever: making love off and on for half the night, pillow-talk about the future, laughter, "I love you's" galore...

The next morning she promptly drove to her AP's and presumably had sex with him. I tracked her phone (after our wonderful night I was planning to surprise her with brunch) and my life as I knew it was over.

Shocking, now that I look back on it.

It would have been pretty recent, but I had just read the book, "Why men love bitches". It's about being a person of strength, self confidence, and not getting walked all over --- while being feminine at the same time~ It says to NOT jump into bed right away (something I always did), until the person shows you who they really are. (Yall this is all new to me!!!! ) According to the book, you get people to show you who they are by keeping a new relationship "light, not so intense right away, like a friend" at first.

Wow! When I started thinking this way, I began to see this person would end up hurting me in the long run.....In the past I would have had sex right away, then tried to "make the 'relationship' work" for a couple of years, then finally seeing the true person...

So those of us on the bus,, it shows a strength that we don't "give it up" easily. A new person is going to have to show us who they are, then they get a night to remember

In my marriage to my XWH I went 7 years without it due to his "ED"..... we had a sexless marriage for that long... I look back and still cant believe the disfunction that was that relationship and I wonder why I stayed so long. On the flip side, today I am married to a great man and get it at least 4 times a week.. and I love it!!! Life is good

[This message edited by Dawnie at 7:49 AM, November 20th (Wednesday)]

My XWS and I made (crazy, intense) love only a week or so before we signed the papers.

Divorcing someone you love is really hard.

In the 18.5 years we were together the longest stretch we went before we were separated was 10 days. That's including the birth of 3 boys.

After the separation (and during and after the affair) the longest we went was 1 month.

Since the D I have had 2 opportunities and took one.

It was with an old friend and I actually quite enjoyed it. I did get somewhat upset after because I felt bad for not feeling bad (? does that make sense?) He held me and talked me down while I cried.

For me, I felt it was a bond I had to break with my XWS because we always had a lot of sex and love making. To me it was "ok, I really AM divorced, I can make an adult decision to be with someone else."

I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex for the act of it as long as you're careful, prepared and don't expect something else.

In my defense, I am 38 and I can count the number of people I have been with on 1 hand.

On the flip side, today I am married to a great man and get it at least 4 times a week.. and I love it!!!

Dawnie, you give me hope for the human race. I would probably break down crying with gratitude for once a week. I feel robbed of so many years. Then she just gave it all to someone else. I made it through so many years with so little affection and sex, and then she just threw me away...

I'm not the type of person to have sex for the sake of having sex. I don't judge people that are, it's just that for me, sex and emotion are intertwined so it would be hard for me to just sleep with anyone.

So therefore, let's just say it's been far too long. :(