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Agreed! I find my way to a spin class once in a while just to imagine running her over time and time again. It feels good. My hate for OP tends to always slide into anger toward WP, though. It never just sits on OP, because she wouldn't have mattered if WP hadn't given her the power to matter. It's crazy making!

There are times when I don't care about OW. If it weren't her it would have been somebody else.

But most of the time I hate her. She fucked my H. She keyed my car. She talked shit about me in her texts and emails.

Last night I was at the Christmas party for WH's current work assignment and I was triggering all over the place, remembering how I danced with OW at WH's Christmas party three years ago, and I had no idea that they had already kissed by that point. Add plenty of booze to the equation and I wasn't very nice.

I told WH that I wish I had knocked her down on that dance floor three years ago and punched her in the face repeatedly.

[This message edited by TheThreeYearFool at 2:54 PM, December 8th (Sunday)]

I thought about this the other day and realized that I hated what the skank did because it was knowingly done.

The same way I feel disgust at someone who goes in and shoots kids in a school or people in a mall, or someone who blows up a building. They knowingly hurt someone...changed their lives for ever.

What skank did was malicious. H was no angle either, but I see sincere remorse from him. Nothing from the skank.

So glad to see that I am not insane.

I know my WH is the one to blame for making the choices he did. But the APs also made choices which directly hurt me and our family.

So I can't tell you how often and in how many ways I've fantasized their demise. It's been therapeutic in so many ways to imagine them hurting even a fraction as much as I do.

Meanwhile, I have also developed a hatred for my WH's FOO. Especially his mother who stood by knowing about the abuse he received from another family member when he was a young child and didn't address this at all. A lot of his crap comes from his mother not being there for him.

Serious mommy issues which I am the lucky one to receive the consequences of.

She had only one job in this world - to take care of her children. Seriously - she had maids, drivers, chefs, etc. The woman didn't have to lift a finger and had no responsibilities but to love her children. She screwed up with both her kids. She then had the audacity to tell me I contributed to my WH's acting out because I wasn't a good enough spouse and I was angry all the time (for him making me feel like shit for months before the actual Dday)!!

I hate her. I truly hate her even more than his APs and prostitutes and everyone else he brought into our marriage.

I told him I do not ever want to see her again or speak to her again. He said ok.

I'm still so angry and disgusted with her that I don't want our daughters to ever see her or be around her selfish toxic environment. I truly feel that I am protecting them. If she couldn't protect her own children, she sure as hell won't have my children's best interest at heart. Luckily she lives in another country and it's expensive/difficult to see her much anyway.

Is it wrong to cut out this toxic woman from my life and that of my sweet daughters? They don't know her well anyway. And I'd like to keep it that way.

What a timely topic. I was just going thru this this am.

I have never hated any body in my life as I feel such hatred now. I was honest with my husband. That every time I find a penny I wish she dies of lung cancer. Every time I look at a clock and it is 617 I wish she dies of lung cancer. Every time I throw a coin in a fountain I wish she dies of lung cancer. I have a voodoo fall I got in NOLA. Yep I stick that black pin in her lung area.

I learned yesterday her mom is ill and had a leg amputated. I was pissed that the karma bus hit the wrong family member. My hope is her mother ends up in one of the rehabs I am a rep in. Yep going to tell her what a whore her dtr is.

My despair is starting to become a deep, burning hate.

Not so much for OM. Yet. He is not the one who swore to Love, Honor, Cherish.

SHE did.

Last night during the nasty weather, knowing that she is driving an hour and a half to and from work (so she can be with him), I turned on the scanner and PRAYED to hear a report of a one vehicle crash involving a fatality. And I prayed that it would be her.

This isn't me. Or maybe it's the new me. But I want her to die a long, slow, painful, agonizing death.

Completely, and utterly alone.

Of course I hate the OMs. Almost everyday I dream of beating the absolute living shit out of them. Unfortunately 2 of them live on the other side of the world. One of them lives in the same city as me though, but we inhabit the same professional work environment. I did see him working once a few months back and it took every bit of self control I had to avoid him and not just smash his head in. Luckily he kept his distance, knowing what I'm capable of, the weak piece of shit. He knows I'd break him in two. It would make my day if I ever hear about any of those c***s dying etc.

[This message edited by Jesu at 5:13 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)]

I stay in the hate! It is a horrible way to live but I did not volunteer for this . I do agree with most here that the hate is normal. I have hate towards both of them that is unexplainable. But much more towards stbxww. Her piece of shit boyfriend didn't marry me , she did!! Stay in the hate just control it and do not act on it.

I want to stand face to face with her and watch her cower in fear of me.