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ruby44 (original poster member #41135) posted at 9:21 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
So WH just left with the DDs for the evening, he will bring them home tomorrow night. He served me three days ago and cleaned out the checking account. I retained a lawyer yesterday and mine is suppose to be working on the money issue. My WH tells me today that our first court date is simply for status and that I do not need to appear. I say I know....he gets all teary eyed that I was short with him and already knew something. He thinks we can be friends, that we can share information. He actually offered to bring dinner when he brought our children home, I told him it was not necessary, just bring my DDs home. he goes from raging lunatic to weepy abused husband. (Yes he actually claimed that I inflicted extreme mental cruelty in the papers) What the hell is with the tears. Hey he should be ecstatic...he is spending Christmas in Cancun with the OW. (she is giving up Christmas with her DD(6) to be with my WH.) They should have a great Christmas, I hope they get sunburn! Let him explain that to my DDs.
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 9:50 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Ruby, good for you. These small steps forward will get bigger over time. I think it's great that you are recognizing your positive movement forward so soon.
Don't worry about the mental/emotional abuse claims. My xWH still accuses me of that, it is how they justify/excuse the unthinkable choices and actions. You'll get numb to it and anyone who really knows you will know that it is all BS.
Ya done good. 
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
Gajit ( member #40665) posted at 10:01 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I'm not sure you should miss those court dates at all.
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 10:20 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
So he cleaned out the checking account instead of splitting it? 
Make sure you show up to court and get some temporary support and custody orders that favor you.
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 10:24 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I've also been accused if being abusive. Funny how I'm the one with the restraining order-- but HE is the abused husband?!??
Definitely show for every court appearance. Do not listen to him. He is NOT your friend.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 10:37 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
What an ass. He will get his. Karma has a way of catching up with you when you take money from your wife and children that is rightfully theirs.
I'm thinking some Montezumas revenge would be a nice start.
Stay strong. Get a VAR, and try to limit communication to only email and text that way you have proof that he is the abusive one.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
ruby44 (original poster member #41135) posted at 12:22 AM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
I wanted to say, thanks but I have a lawyer for that kind of advice. I really hate talking about it in front of the kids and really try not to unless they bring it up. Why the hell does he not get that!
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
jemimapd ( member #37895) posted at 12:27 AM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
Because he is trying to manipulate you to get what he wants. It's the old, "We don't need attorneys, they waste money, I will always look after you," routine.
Your lawyer is a barrier to that so he is trying to circumvent him or her.
My ex loathes my lawyer who is a very nice man. It's because the lawyer stands in the way, protecting me, calling the truth on all of ex's BS.
Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.
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