SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I think what people today forget it that infidelity has plagued mankind since the days of the Romans. It isn't something new because of smartphones or iPads.

In fact I'm one of those people that believe yes it's easier to get sucked in by texting, etc, but it's also much easier to get caught. I caught my WW's affair via her Blackberry and of course she initially denied it until I got into her email account and saw all the correspondence that went on for at least six months. People will always find a way.

I think for my H (FB flirting & sexting to phone sex), the iphone was like a drug dispenser. He started with porn, which gave him an instant high and moved on to chatting with random women on FB.

There was an unrealness about it all (he says) that allowed him to rationalize it as "wrong, but not that bad". And it was so convenient, he could get a fix anywhere, any time. It's much easier to send texts throughout the day or chat before bed than it is to arrange meetups.

Would he have cheated anyway, if he didn't have access to it 24/7? Maybe eventually, but I do think the fantasy aspect of OL A's allow shaky boundaries to slip a lot faster than they might in face-to-face situations.

same story here, husband of 7 years found an old friend on FB and they started talking, and then meeting up. I found out about it when i was seven months pregnant with our first child. its horrible so i know what you are going through, take a moment at a time. we will get through all this.

"It's the technology's fault"

Horseshit. I'm a computer guy; I know lots of stuff that would make it easy not to get caught having an affair.

But I CHOSE to never do that. I have clear boundaries. You also chose not to do that. He could have made that same choice.

I'm a computer guy also. Because my wife used technology in her affairs, it actually made it easier to detect and find "anomalies". During the TT days I was able to find holes in her stories that did not match up with her emails and phone records.

The important thing is to trust your gut. If something doesn't seem to make sense, they are probably lying.

Absolutely in my case. My WS found women online and then escorts online. I absolutely believe his smart phone/ipad, while not to blame per say, was the gateway to porn and for this to happen.

My husband cheated with a bar-whore before we had much, if any, technology in our life.

That said, the additional affairs he has admitted to, along with countless crossed boundaries with countless other women, were absolutely fueled by access to technology...and without technology, I wouldn't have ever found out what was happening...which means all of it, and more, would probably still be going on right now.

It makes me so sad.