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toomanyregrets ( member #37740) posted at 2:06 AM on Sunday, January 12th, 2014
You might as well read the e-mail.
If it's good then there's hope.
If Not, then you need to show her you mean what you said and start to move on.
BH - 66 - Retired
fWW - 62
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
"Regret is when you realize you broke your own heart.
Remorse is when you realize you broke someone else's." - Bla
mike7 ( member #38603) posted at 2:52 AM on Sunday, January 12th, 2014
she blew off the date.
regardless of what she says in the text, if you suck up to her now she will never respect you for the rest of your life.
ask yourself why she purposely didn't respond on your deadline. She didnt' because she's letting you know that you're not the boss, she is.
She'll let you know what she's going to do when she's good and ready and not before. And you're going to like it!
honestly, if you cave to this nonsense, I don't have much hope for your happiness with this woman.
the only way you can let her back is if she comes back to you blubbering, snot-nosed, mascara running, begging for forgiveness. otherwise, you're just her plan B while she makes up her mind.
BH 60
WW 58
Two grown kids
DDay 1/15/2013
Twitchy ( member #25393) posted at 4:24 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014
Stanley, How's it going, man. What happened?
BH(me)-57, FWW-Past,D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous. D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.
Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Li
trojan007 ( member #36960) posted at 5:34 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014
Stanley hope you're okay, keep updating buddy
[This message edited by trojan007 at 11:35 AM, January 13th (Monday)]
stanley (original poster new member #41695) posted at 6:45 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014
I had a four hour conversation with her and my take away from it was that she has climbed back on the fence. She says she still loves me, but is afraid of ending it with him! She doesn't want to clean the crap from the sole of her shoe because she's afraid that she will be asking herself the rest of her life "what if" he's the one 
I told her where she could pick her stuff up at and that I don't want her in my life anymore because I don't want to wonder "what if" I might find some one who loves me unconditionally and wants ME in their life! I told her I am taking what's left of my dignity and self-respect and I will share it with someone who I can trust and will treat me with respect and dignity!
I don't know what the cheaters handbook says will happen next. I do know her well enough to know that she will be too proud and arrogant to right this wrong. She will get thrown under the bus, ran over and kicked to the curb before she see's her head stuck up her ass and finally admits her mistakes!
I am so broken by this and so very sad, but I have faith and hope that love and happiness will find me again. Win the day one day at a time!
Twitchy ( member #25393) posted at 9:18 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014
You're not broken. You're just terribly hurt. But it's like taking the bandage off all at once rather than millimeter by millimeter. (I'm Canadian)
Now you can go no contact and be proud that you did all you could to save things, she just couldn't see that.
No Contact = No New Hurt.
Don't worry about what she does or what she's thinking. Just worry about you and your beautiful children.. Let this wound heal. It will take alot of time.
And BTW. You did great.
[This message edited by Twitchy at 5:31 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]
BH(me)-57, FWW-Past,D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous. D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.
Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Li
movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 5:58 PM on Wednesday, January 15th, 2014
By not choosing you, she chooses him... So give her exactly what she wants.
Sometimes the best punishment is to give someone exactly what they asked for.... And then not being there for them when they realize how wrong they were.
No contact. Do not contact her for any reason. Do not respond to calls, texts, or emails. Tell her to talk to your attorney.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 7:32 PM on Wednesday, January 15th, 2014
I don't know what the cheaters handbook says will happen next. I do know her well enough to know that she will be too proud and arrogant to right this wrong. She will get thrown under the bus, ran over and kicked to the curb before she see's her head stuck up her ass and finally admits her mistakes!
See, you DO know the cheater's handbook! That is exactly what happens.
She is telling you what she wants, and that is to continue the new status quo. I will assume that this doesn't sit well with you(as it shouldn't), so your choices now are to either (1) accept it, (2) or not. I believe that option #2 will suit you better.
Keep moving forward, away from this mess. The further you get away from infidelity, the better things will be for you. Trust us.
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
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