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ruby44 (original poster member #41135) posted at 5:20 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
I have always loved Christmas, the family times, the gift buying, playing Santa, baking Christmas cookies, family mass at our church, and just generally all things that go with it.
Today I am sad, my DDs are happy, Santa was good to them, I tried my best to give them a Christmas they will remember for the happy not the sad. They are upstairs talking to their Dad as he calls to wish them a merry Christmas from his vacation to Cancun with the OW.
The DDs got me presents, only one they picked out themselves and one they made. I will treasure them always. The other 2 were picked out by my STBXWH. I found it ironic. A coach purse. I am not a purse person. The irony is that for our first Christmas together after dating 2 months He got me a coach purse too. So I get a coach purse for my first and last Christmas connected to him. Will he even know what he did. No. Probably just a standard gift. Don't think I will ever use it. It sits on the table. Even when my DDs gave it to me they knew it was not a present for me. I told them how beautiful it was etc but it is killing me. He couldn't even take them shopping, just did it all himself.
Just very sad and lonely today. Need to find a way to get through so that my daughters do not remember the silly sad mom. Come on 2014!
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:35 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
We're here for you. Your DD's won't remember silly sad mom, they will remember brave mom who always put them first and loves them with all her heart.
2014 is going to be better!
(((ruby44)))
[This message edited by Jrazz at 11:35 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 5:45 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
Oh ruby
It is such a tough day.
I would just hang in my pj's and snuggle with the kids around me. Pull them close and know you are doing what's right. Your kids won't know you were hurting and will look back on the first Christmas you did it by yourself and be proud of you.
They will know you gave and sacrificed...and their dad, well he chose fun in the sun rather than Christmas with his kids.
You are strong, unselfish and loving.
Be good to you and know you make a difference. This day would have been much harder on the kids if you were not so strong.
It will get better.
(((ruby)))
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 6:06 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
Snuggle with your daughters and enjoy a house that's filled with love and caring, instead of lies and deceit. Enjoy being with them, being silly, and laughing, and decorating each other with bows, and making good treats to eat. Have a PJ wrapping-paper snow ball fight and then see who can find the smallest piece of paper on the carpet. Flop together and watch a movie while you're flaked out on the couch. Just be together and start some new traditions. Let tomorrow come when it comes. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
soveryweary ( member #32265) posted at 9:34 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
Divorced 1/3/14 after 31 years of marriage.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 11:23 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
MammaMia ( member #34030) posted at 11:38 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013
Whatever Skan said. Enjoy the day and make it a great Christmas for your daughters. Look forward to all the good things that lie ahead....free...free at last... no more lies...no more deceit...no more worries...
Enjoy the new opportunities in 2014. Good luck to you.
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Virginiagirl ( member #41656) posted at 1:05 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2013
Be proud of yourself for even putting one foot in front of the other on such a hard day. In my opinion, any of us that get through those first months without going full on crazy should take that as an accomplishment. Stand back and look at yourself- you are incredibly strong. Really, you are stronger than you know. Love yourself & your kids today. Hugs!!!
Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 11 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School.
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 3:37 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2013
Ruby,
Sending hugs and support your way. You did great today. Your daughters will remember this Christmas for what you did. They will remember what their dad did. You held it together for them. Great job. It does get better!
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
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