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livebythesea (original poster member #38900) posted at 6:42 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2014
I am literally falling apart. Little by little. Some days I am strong, but most days I question my feelings, question my mind. Today, I discovered a porn site which I believe H has been visiting.
Our deal breaker was NO PORN. I have asked him a few times whether or not he visits those sites, and he swears that he does not. Ok. So be it. But I still don't believe him, right? So I keep looking in the browser. Nothing. So it seems.
We have an Ipad i OS 7.04. which has the Private browser. I'm sure he discovered that button.
Anyway, today, I discovered a site which was browsed. www.streamate.com Yap. That is his style. I asked my 20 year old son if he had viewed that site. He said NO. So, who else.
I will confront him when he gets home. I know he will deny it. HOW CAN YOU DENY EVIDENCE. But he does.
You see it's not the fact that he is viewing those sites. The part which breaks me is that when I ask him he says he is not. And then I have evidence he still is. Even though it was for a min. He is STILL F... LYING. Any advice, I know, and you are right, I dont listen to your advice anyway. I am building up strength.
Me - 65 I often have to remind myself of my age! Husband - 65 DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)DD2 April 23 2013DD3 June 22 20133 children 5 grandchildren
datura222 ( new member #39766) posted at 7:06 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2014
Do you have filters blocking porn content at your router or K-9 filters on all of your devices?
If not, he could be using google chrome incognito or any other private browser to be looking.
I read your profile...his reluctance to take a polygraph is unsettling to me.
Do you think he might be SA?
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:10 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2014
Hey LBTS, Where you been girl?
I was thinking about you the other day. I hope you are holding up and finding your strength.
All I can say is what I always say, HE is broken, and HE refuses to see it, address it, and do anything about it.
YOU know this, YOU deserve more. I hope you stop letting the fear of the unknown keep you sidelined. You know that your current life is pretty sad, lonely, and unfulfilling. You don't need him to find your happiness.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
outtanowhere ( member #39001) posted at 12:53 AM on Friday, January 10th, 2014
LBTS, why wouldnt he lie to you? It works for him and you make it easy for him. He is gaslighting you. Trying to make you believe you didn't see what you saw. It's hard to accept the truth but, until you do, the pain continues. Break out girl! Let him know you are sure of what you know and, be prepared to make him face REAL consequences.
Me-clueless BS Dday - 2/19/13 "This isn’t flying. It’s falling with style".Buzz Lightyear - Toy Story
fourever ( member #30631) posted at 2:07 AM on Friday, January 10th, 2014
I've been worried about you, too. Keep gaining strength. When you are ready to listen and put yourself first, you know there is a huge cheering section here for you. 
In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!
one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 5:09 AM on Friday, January 10th, 2014
One of the things I learned is that if you make a "deal breaker" and he breaks the deal, the BIGGEST mistake you can make is to do nothing. It teaches him that you don't mean what you say. It teaches him that you will tolerate his lies.
Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
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