SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The other guy is single.

Julez, Don't like the affair? Burn it down! Affairs are like vampires, they thrive in the darkness, Expose this affair, particularly to friends of the marriage and the other man's wife if he has one. Tell your wife that she must be prepared to live somewhere else. She doesn't get to cheat and then come home.

I am in such a deep funk and almost a state of denial but I know I will snap out of this. I just need a few days.

Yes, you will get there. We have total faith in you (think I can speak collectively here!). If it takes more than a few days, don't be disappointed with yourself. Just do your best, keep your chin up, and hang in there. (((hugs)))

Julez. So sorry to hear that...

I totally understand you wanting an apology... You want her to feel remorse for the pain she's causing.

Side note.... A marriage is only worth saving if both of you want to save it. Her and the OM clearly have history.

Protect yourself and your assets.

I'm sorry your here.

Have you contacted a lawyer ?

Talk to as many as possible, that way your WW will to search for one that won't have a conflict of interest.

You need to know your rights when your WW files.

I've been to through something very similar, old HS BF, reconnected on FB, met up on a trip out of town. Difference is she came home and moved out while I was on a business trip and left a note mentioning none of the old BF part.

The devastation part you're going through right now is an unreal low and pain you never imagined you'd feel. It is hard to see it now, but you will get through it.

None of it makes sense, but know that it isn't you. She's broken.

You are getting a lot of good advice on this thread. Take care of YOURSELF and your children. Your healing is the priority here.

She may, or may not, pull her head out of her ass. While that may be the thing you want most (it was for me) it isn't something you can control. So you have to make yourself your firts priority while that part plays itself out.

I can tell you that mine wound up in divorce and THEN she woke up, we reconciled and remarried. That's not real normal. I can also tell you that I was absolutely going to be happy and have a good life with or without the reconcliation. When you get through these early weeks/months of pain and devastation, that is the part you need to hold firmly too. You can and will have a good life.

hang in there

[This message edited by WarpSpeed at 4:26 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

The other guy is single.

Can you find family of OM? Or close friends?

You have to get close to the OM to bust up the affair. Does he use Facebook or other social websites? Create profile and pretend to be a long-time classmate. Once you find out his social network you can use this to your advantage once you expose.

Run a background check on OM. Have you considered a private investigator?

How is your WW acting? Is she any more remorseful or still acting the same?

Have you talked to a lawyer yet? Did you get papers drawn up?

In order for him to come in she needs to prove she is financially secure and guarantee his stays will not be burden to others. Affidavit is also required and your income tax records. She may need your signature for the financial records she has to submit. You could block him coming over but marriage if she is not willing is over and there is nothing you can do about

Julez, I'm so sorry you're here. I promise you it gets better. I am 2 years from D-day. How you feel on week 1 is completely different than how much better you will feel 100 weeks from now... YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS!

Listen to Kalimata he is offering you solid advise.

*Kalimata* I have a question... if OM is single, should he locate the parents and tell them their son is having an A with his wife/mother of his children and that the children will suffer from this craziness?

Hang in there Julez - there are many good people on this site that want and will help you.

*Kalimata* I have a question... if OM is single, should he locate the parents and tell them their son is having an A with his wife/mother of his children and that the children will suffer from this craziness?

Mesostupid: ABSOLUTELY. I would out this piece of shyte OM to the entire world. His parents need to know what type of kid they raised who would cheat like this. What type of low-life would go and actively date a woman who is married and with kids? Even if he is single the entire world needs to know his deplorable integrity.

I would go as far as posting this POS on Cheaterville.com. Once he is posted on cheaterville, every time someone does a Google search with his name, then the cheater info will be revealed. This is especially handy nowadays since employers routinely run a google search as part of a basic background check. Even though infidelity is not illegal, most managers would not want to hire someone with this type of tarnish on their record.