SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

***note, my husbands name is not Jake, but because my user name is from 16 candles, when I blog hes "Jake Ryan"

Hey guys, sorry I was MIA this week.

I had a huge anxiety episode last Sunday.  Few different triggers, but we think the biggest is the anniversary of my biological father’s death coming up, Jake’s job change, and just some issues I have feeling rejected (my perception, nothing he is doing).  I also had a horrific migraine which made the anxiety a lot worse.

I ended up going to the hospital Sunday morning, because the pain was so bad.  While there, I basically lost it.  Just sobbing, etc.

They sent in a social worker to see me and talk to me.  I spilled everything.  EVERYTHING.  She was so nice.

She asked me if I felt I would benefit from going to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, to get some INTENSIVE therapy, get some med changes with a psychiatrist, and just to get a break for a bit.

I think I may have jumped at the opportunity.  I was such an emotional mess it wasn’t even funny.  So they sent me to a really great facility about 100 miles from where I live.  I was treated with dignity, respect and validated.  I participated FULLY in everything, just trying to soak up as much as I could.

Only bummer was when we had one long break in the afternoon, I apparently fell asleep during an SVU marathon and was snoring, loudly and I believe, from what two patients were teasing about, I farted a few times.  *snicker*  I did have a great roommate, the other patients were great.  It was wonderful being to talk openly, without fear of being looked down on.  The therapists there were AMAZING.

I met with my psychiatrist every day, they did adjust my meds, added two new ones.  I had a great therapist there, who spent 2 hours with me on one day.  The group therapies were great as were the activity therapies.  I felt like hell Sunday night going in, Monday wasn’t much better, but by Tuesday, Jake said I sounded like the old me again.

It’s not something I ever thought I’d *want* to do, but I was desperate at the moment Sunday, and I’m so glad I did.  I went voluntarily, and I got a lot out of it, especially coping skills.

They released me yesterday.  I have therapy appointments set up already for myself, and an appointment with my new psychiatrist.

I had no cell phone or internet access in there, hence my inability to get online.

Jake has been absolutely amazing through all of this.  So supportive and just wanted to see me get help so I can get better and move forward with my healing process.

I have to say, I met some great people, some kind of weird folk (OMG, LOL).  The food was pretty damn good, but they fed us so much I think I gained 10 pounds.  I got to get back into Yoga, which I’m going to continue because I felt great doing it.  I’m all zen now, LOL.

So I’m back, I’m feeling 1000 times better, and I’ve got a great plan moving forward.

Good for you!!!!

When I subpoenaed and received the 12,000 text messages between my husband and the human mattress, I drove right away to a treatment center/psych hospital. This was during the divorce, so I asked to be put in their 3 week outpatient program 9-5 m-s so that my WS would not find out.

OMG It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Like you said, the professionalism and the reality from the therapists is so helpful! Several people in my group were there because of spousal infidelity! Only one person was a little wierd and they moved him to a different group. Other than that, we were moms, a grandparent who lost a grandchild suddenly, a cop, a couple of coke addicts in recovery, etc.

So, yay to you for posting this,,, it helped me really survive and gave me some great tools to use in my life!

Thank you so much for sharing this, SB. I think that there are a lot of people who are afraid of clinical assistance - even a doctor's visit. Hopefully your story will inspire some people to reach out and get the help they deserve.

You're so in tune with your needs - I'm thrilled for you that you were open to getting this kind of help.

I'm especially glad that you're feeling better.

(((SamanthaBaker)))

[This message edited by Jrazz at 12:49 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

Samantha, I am so glad that you were able to get help that you needed. Thanks for sharing. And keep taking care of yourself. oai

[This message edited by OnAnIsland at 12:55 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

Glad you are doing OK!

Sometimes we don't ask profesional help because we think we can do it alone. Medication and profesional help can do wonders. Once someone can find his/her balance and strength then they can start thinking clearly and make the right choices for themselves.

I'm so glad you took advantage of this help and you're feeling better.

Hugs!!

Congrats for taking care of yourself in this way. So inspiring. Sometimes in those states it's hard to know what to do, so this is an example of what is good to do! Thank you!

Thanks guys. I was scared to death to be honest, but the sane part of me knew I had to go. The first night and first Fay were hard and overwhelming. But then I met a friend, who lives in my area. We are being supportive to each other too. The patients were great, except for a couple. I know it was the right thing to do. I'm not ashamed rather empowered I went.

Glad to hear things worked out, that DOES sound scary.

I second the benefits of Yoga - I was off during the day 3 days last week, so I went to a Yoga class each day, and the calming and clarifying affect on my thinking was obvious.

Good for you!

That is fantastic!

Areyou in the US?

Most mental health facilities are so strained here in the great southwest you can't get admitted unless you're psychotic or acutely suicidal (and I mean you have to practically hold a gun on yourself). I am so pleased for you.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 10:37 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

So glad you got the support and help you were needing, Samantha. And even more glad that Jake was there for you in such a wonderful way. What a positive and uplifting post.

She asked me if I felt I would benefit from going to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, to get some INTENSIVE therapy, get some med changes with a psychiatrist, and just to get a break for a bit.

This sounds so therapeutic. Glad that you got some sort of mental recuperation time.

I'm in Virginia Dr. PJ. I did have to go 100 miles away, but I didn't even care, lol

Do these programs generally cost anything or are they covered by insurance? I have often thought about doing an outpatient program. We have been unable to get the help I need due to finances. We will get insurance in a month but I'm not sure it covers everything.

I think I may suffer from PTSD. Most days it is very difficult to function.

Our insurance is covering it. We have bc/bs.

Congrats Sam. Taking control of your well being is a huge step in healing and becoming an independently happy person which can only make your relationship stronger.

Most commercial insurance cover intensive outpatient treatment for specific diagnosis, usually severe depression coupled with anxiety disorder will get it done but "behavioral health" is tricky so check your benefits.

Inpatient treatment where you go and stay is much less common and usually reserved for suicidal and completely blato patients (you know so far gone they don't realize they are a danger to themselves).

It is unfortunate that there is no longer insurance coverage for mental health, that disappeared in the 90s when insurance cos realized inpatient treatment for alcohol and drug abuse did not work and there were frequent repeat offenders.

I was diagnosed with "major depressive disorder" aka nice way of saying bipolar.

I'm asking the psychiatrist to assess me thoroughly.

Major Depressive Disorder is not the same as bipolar. At least not in the world I work in.

They are very different.

Be very proud of what you have done for yourself though Sam. Continue to get the help you need.

(((and strength)))

Thank you!