SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I didn't smash, break or burn anything.

I'm a hair stylist, so I have cut WH all throughout the years we've been together. Well, the first haircut (after D Day) that I gave him, was absolutely horrible! I just picked up strands and started chopping away. I even gave him a bunch of bald spots. On top, all over the back and sides were bald (almost down to the scalp) spots. Then when I shaved his nape, I shaved it up about two inches into his hair.

He never said a word to me about it! He just wore it that way until it grew out.

[This message edited by weeping willow at 1:15 PM, February 9th (Sunday)]

I burned a couple of ex-asshat's shirts in the bbqer in the back yard after the bunch and I moved out. The kid who lived behind us crawled up on his jungle gym and totally busted me. "HEY! Why are you doing that? Is that clothes? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

OMG, wildbananas! That's the funniest thing I've ever pictured.

That would TOTALLY happen to me.

These are do funny. I love the haircut! !! I threw his phone against the wall. This was before smartphones made it so easy to sync your phone pictures to your computer. His phone connected better, so I would Bluetooth my pics to his and connect it to the computer. After dd and all the "why are you going through my stuff" crap. I had another round of pictures. I asked him to upload them because I was very much in a "I'm not touching your darn precious phone" mood. He thought it was a joke, b/c of course I should have been over all the lying and hiding by then. He kept handing it to me like he'd never been a man that kept secrets from his wife and I chunked that sucker at the wall. Of course, that made me the crazy one. Never mind that I'd never done anything like that and HE was the one known for kicking or tossing things when he was angry. Yep. I'm crazy.

Wow - just thinking of the things I've broken or damaged - I think I could buy a new car!!

I threw REALLY heavy candles at him the day I found out who OW was, which broke a cabinet and a computer screen. I broke 2 doors, keyed his car, broke a desktop, a PS3, tore clothes, destroyed headphones, movies, CDs, and on and on...

Ugh.

The thing that really seemed to hurt him was when I grabbed some cards I'd recently given him and tore them into a hundred pieces and threw it in the air, screaming that I didn't know he was a whore when I bought those and that I would NEVER love him again.

SAWH's AP was the kind of gal who loves designer crap. She bought him a bunch of stuff from a well-known designer for gifts - wallet, knit hat, scarf, gloves, etc. His SA counselor told him to get rid of anything that she gave him, so I figured it out when he was no longer carrying around the wallet (which did not fit in his pants anyway - the thing was super wide.

Anyway, on the way home from the SA counselor's office on the day he did his disclosure, I asked him about the gifts because I wanted to hear him say it. He said he had received the knit hat from AP but lost it and bought himself another one because he liked it. WTF? Who does that shit? You really like a knit hat that has little logos on it? He said "I had a scarf too but I lost it." No, you did not lose it….actually I consigned that. The hat fell on the floor in our bedroom out of one of his gym bags one day and I kicked it under the night stand and later retrieved that and it's now on its way to the consignment shop. It's about time I profited from this relationship.

I also love the story that a friend of a friend told me about the AP. Friend of friend and her husband were tailgating at a football game in group of people that incl my SAWH, his AP and a few of SAWH's friends (I was home with sick kid and treating both kids and myself for LICE!!!). Friend of friend only met me once, but she knew enough to know that AP wasn't the wife he met at our house a few months earlier. Anyway, they had to go into the stadium and AP left her coat in the friend's car so she didn't have to bring it in. Somehow they never ended up going back to the tailgate after the game and when the AP got friend of friend's phone number and tried calling her a bunch of times in order to get her coat, the friend never returned her call. Her teenage daughter is now wearing the coat. LOL. Now THAT is an act of civil disobedience. One thing I do suspect is that my friend's friend told my friend about it and my friend did not tell me until much, much later. Some friend I had.

Anyway, I never smashed anything. I understand the impulse to do that, but I'm more calculating than that. After all this shit went down, I wanted to no longer be the innocent bystander and regain some control of my life. I've used the consignment store credits to get myself some nice, gently worn designer clothing and the fact that my husband no longer can wear his crappy designer logo'd merchandise it (because let's face it…that shit is cheesy!!!) and that I profited from it without him knowing makes me a lot happier.

I didn't destroy anything. But...

I dumped his toothbrush in the toilet, and didn't tell him. And then a few weeks later it was laying on the sink when I was cleaning the cat litter scoop thingy, and a bunch of used cat litter fell on it accidentally. I considered throwing it away, but didn't. I laughed inside every single time I saw him using the toothbrush after that.

I confessed it to him about 5 months later, and he said "didn't you think about me getting a disease from it?!" Um, what about you having sex with OW without using a condom? Duh.

Hmm, I ripped a pic we had done in half, shredded him and put me back in the frame and re-hung it.

I cut up his favorite sheets (blue flannel from LL Bean) and made them into a bunch of pillows and small sheets to send to orphans in the Congo.

I took other sheets and some Christmas ornaments out to the firepit.

My STBX collects martini glasses and for a few years that is what he got for Christmas, Birthday and Father's Day ... I picked the one I gave him with his monogram on the base (it was a 2 piece, the base held ice and the stemless martini glass sat in it), my girls each picked a glass and we took a hammer to them!!

All pics with him in have been taken off the walls ... I'm not sure yet what will happen to them. My girls might like them some day far into the future.

I dumped his toothbrush in the toilet, and didn't tell him. And then a few weeks later it was laying on the sink when I was cleaning the cat litter scoop thingy, and a bunch of used cat litter fell on it accidentally. I considered throwing it away, but didn't. I laughed inside every single time I saw him using the toothbrush after that.

OH I SOOOO wish I had thought of that!!

I took all the pictures of our first "love" weekend together, tore them up. I won't say what I did next but after I flushed!!!!

Burned a book, used a hammer on an iPhone, spray painted a shitty piece of art that OW made, then asked WH to smash it to pieces.

Then I took a picture of it just for fun.

College ex fiancé who cheated on me got his sweatshirt stolen and his shoes filled with dog poop.

Daughter's dad- I didn't smash, burn or break anything at his house. I still have all of our family pictures in case DD wants to see them someday. I did, however clean the toilet with his toothbrush, sew his boxer flys shut and "accidentally" dropped a box of sewing needles on his long carpet in his bedroom next to his bed before I moved out. Also, I made him destroy some baby clothes that his whore gave to our daughter and he tried to sneak into my house after I had said I didn't want my daughter dressing in anything picked out by that slut.

OW got dog poop under her car door handles, all of her naughty pictures sent to her BF and her entire family, and slapped with a restraining order after threatening to kill DD and I.

My H- I took over his iPad. He bought it for himself- as soon as I found out what he had been using it for, I pretty much took over it and won't share. I made him get rid of a shirt that triggered me, and a blanket that triggered me "mysteriously" got thrown down in the basement under the house. I also broke 2 SD cards, and a CD full of naughty pictures. Additionally, he had a towel from his ex (had her name on it) before he ever met me. That ended up getting bleached "by accident" so we "had" to throw it out. I found a shirt in his closet- also belonged to an ex from before he met me. That got dunked in the toilet, put in a bag for months until it grew a fair amount of mold, and then mailed to her. HA!

[This message edited by BeyondBreaking at 5:58 PM, February 9th (Sunday)]

I didn't smash anything, but when I did discover the evidence of the secret affair phone (9 months of false R), she delivered it to me a few days later smashed and in a baggie.

I carried that around for a while along with the phone card and receipt. A year later we went up north for a weekend together after attending a church marriage seminar being lead by a couple who's marriage was touched by infidelity via the WW. One morning of our getaway I got up a few hours before my wife and made my way out to the bay and threw them in as an effort to let go of the hurt.

As far as burning things, I had a thick manila envelope of old cards and letters my wife had written to me back when we started dating. Last fall when I had a moment alone I read them one by one and slowly dropped them into our fire pit. It was time to let that girl, the one I originally fell in love with, go to rest. She died a long time ago, and I kept trying to find her.

I thought long and hard about doing that. They were the only evidence of our early relationship that our only daughter would have record of.

My wife had unceremoniously pitched the cards and letters I had given her years before when we moved to our current home, I was with her when she did it. They were hers to do with what she wanted. It was awkward that we found the most dirty, horny, descriptive card written by her... too bad it was for the MOM she was cheating with while we were engaged. I guess the up side was that she hadn't sent it.

In the end I decided that it was in my daughter's best interest not to have a one sided account of her parents relationship.

I smashed his cell phone with a hammer .That was his communication to AP man it felt good

I burned 10 years worth of playboys. I had asked him to get them out of the house and he did not. I had even moved them into the trunk of his car and he still did nothing. So I went out to a sand part of the horse pasture and had a bonfire at 1am. He never said a word. Four yeas later my kids have finally mentioned it a few times, but I never told them what I actually burned. I will someday.

I also threw his iPhone into the wall when he was playing on his phone to avoid talking to me. Giant dent right over the head board. I don't ever plan on repairing that spot.

My biggest regret is not setting fire to the front seat of his car. I seriously almost did it a few times. If our financial situation would have been different...

I threw a muffin tin around the kitchen and dining room until it was a bent, broken piece of junk.

OMG the visual of this has my dying of laughter!!!!

Oh yeah, I forgot... the song "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood? I, um, did one of the things in that song. I'll leave out what it was.

I'm going back to move my stuff out of our old place next week ( ), the last time I'll be back where we used to live. I so wish I could destroy everything. Put paint on the fancy tv, dump paint all over the bed, write on the wall, destroy all his clothes...but, I have not done this yet and I won't next time either. It would not be worth giving him an opportunity to take the high road with me even though I HATE living up to his crap about 'listening to my better nature'. Why HE should reap any benefit from MY better nature escapes me!

Am going to try to be satisfied with taking the french press and all the spices in the kitchen. Cold comfort I'd like to take the sheets I bought him just before finding out again, but he reimbursed me, and again, I know he'd use that type of move on my part to go all 'why must you be so bitter and hurtful' on me, .

I have not broken anything but wanted to! I tried to remove his wedding ring from his finger...I was going to throw it as far as I could but he was stronger than me and I couldn't get it off his finger. Reading all these posts gave me lots of satisfaction for everyone here! I still do have some anger so there maybe some destruction in my future!

I have a problem expressing anger, so I only burned our fancy Marriage Certificate.

When I packed his stuff up, I put the kids' school pictures in the box of his porn magazines. Right on top. Unfortunately, he took the quilt I'd made out of his favorite old t-shirts with him. Otherwise, I probably would have burned it.

For a split second in my rage, I had the rational thought of "wow, this is a well made phone"

This literally made me laugh out loud just now! Thank you!