SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

justjim,

I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. Please take the advice of the others and sit on this info. Do NOT under any circumstances lay down your hand until your L tells you otherwise.

I'm sorry for the family of the OM, but I just don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who is so selfish that they "fall in love" with someone who belongs to another.

I hope after all of this, you see your WS for who she really is. She doesn't even care for this OM that killed himself. She won't care for you either. She is callously abusing the family in their time of grief. I would advise the niece and sister to place a restraining order on her immediately.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep posting here when you want to vent.

WW does not know I have the letters, but she is demanding that the niece return them to her. It's getting nasty with them. So far the niece is honoring my attorney's advice to me to keep secret the fact that I have them.

WW is texting me, demanding that I go to her attorney's office and sign her "One time offer, take it or leave it" separation agreement that they came up with based on her leaving me over simply being unhappy. It's hard not to respond and spill the beans about everything I now know.

WW states that she loaned OM several thousand dollars during their relationship which was never repaid. She wants the letters in leiu of the money.

But at least I know where the money in our savings account went.

Of course she is desperate to get you to sign her *one time offer*. It would release her from having to repay you the monies.

Damn brother. I am awfully glad for the extra few seconds and foot pounds. It's nice to have you around. Don't EVER think she's worth it.

Strength

Jim, I'm sorry for you...having this concrete confirmation must be like a punch in the gut.

At least now you know. You have the TRUTH.

I'm sorry for the OM's family. And I am sorry for him as well.

Nail her ass to the wall. Fuck her. Fuck her "agreement". I can't wait to hear about the look on her face when she finds out you KNOW.

Be prepared for her venom to truly come spitting out then, though.

Jim, Water is more important than food, and maybe sleep is as important as water. I guess the best thing you can do is give yourself opportunities to sleep and hope that exhaustion will take over.

I think you can believe the letters, but I doubt you can believe much of anything she says. Pragmatically, your position is very solid in a D action, but the letters must have been a big blow, and I'm sorry you had to sustain it. You will, heal, though.

Remember, if your appointment with your lawyer is Thursday, and she wants your decision now, she's probably on pins and needles, too,

I think we'd all like to be there when she sees her letters again.... Scan 'em, make a little booklet out of them, wrap 'em, in a red ribbon, and present them Friday?

I think we'd all like to be there when she sees her letters again.... Scan 'em, make a little booklet out of them, wrap 'em, in a red ribbon, and present them Friday?

Probably not Friday. The attorney wants me to say nothing. I think she is planning to surprise WW's counsel, and destroy WW's credibility with her.

Add that money to what she has to pay back during the D.

Also, find out if that could be counted as blackmail or extortion.

Every now and again I read something on SI that proves to me that my ability to be shocked by terrible behavior is still intact. This is one of those posts. This woman, your STBX, she just spreads destruction and chaos wherever she goes. I'm so sorry you got caught in her trajectory. I hope your lawyer slam-dunks every aspect of your case.

To quote you from your profile story:

Holy crap, she's cold!

She sure is.

On the positive side, I have had an opportunity to think some things through, and see them clearly for the first time. Perhaps it will help save someone else.

When she left, it was like she had flipped the switch on her feelings. As I melted down in our kitchen on Thanksgiving morning just as she was leaving, she looked at me with cold, dead eyes and said, "I don't hate you".

I would have preferred that she hate me. I wanted her to feel something, ANYTHING for me. In my mind, if I did something terrible to myself, she would at least feel sorrow. Regret. Maybe even love me again in absentia.

I know now that it would have been a crazy, complete waste. She obviously has none of these feelings for the man that she so recently wrote my beautiful words to. She did not attend his funeral. She didn't even send his family a sympathy card. She went to work like it was just another ordinary day.

She has no capacity to empathize with anyone. I haven't decided if she is sick or just evil.

Maybe she's both.

So,

Another man has died and all your WW can think of is covering her a$$?

Whilst I would not wish tragedy on this man or his family he DID hook up with a married woman!

Why did he then think she wouldn't go and do what she ended up doing to him??

As I said- he didn't deserve to kill himself but sadly I have seen IRL the hurt that A's can cause.

My friend found out her H was having an A and, when it all came out, the H of his AP killed himself and they just swanned off into the sunset together!

Some callous people out there.

I hope your attorney throws the book at your WW and I hope that book is filled with long, flowery words and plenty of chapters and sub chapters!!!

Wow, that is crazy! Please keep us updated and let us know how it goes. Is it possible you can get her to pay the money back that came out of your joint assets?

I am not sure about the money. I just found out about it.

I knew money was missing, I just did not know where it had gone. She always handled our finances.

Sounds like you're going to need a forensic accountantant as well. In a way, I'm glad that she's proved to you, what a heartless bitch she truly is. I'm glad that you got the letters. I hope your attorney can nail her cold, callused hide to the wall with them.

^^^^^This. As cold as she is, I have no doubts that she used the marital assets to further her A's. A forensic accountant would be well worth the money!

As I have said before, my WW has denied any affair. Her stated reason for leaving me were that I was a rotten, inattentive husband and that she was miserable with me.

Sounds like my XWW. Liar, deceiver, backstabber, irresponsible, uncommitted, and full of excuses.

It's time for you to get angry, my friend.

A controlled anger - and use it.

Get angry and take on a cold, steely demeanor. You MUST acquire a resolve to steamroll her and her bullshit.

It's time to release the fucking Kraken and wage a scorched earth policy battle with this woman. She has no respect nor concern for anyone's well-being but her own.

Believe it or not, your anger and determination will finally get some respect from her.

boy that is stone cold right there-wish I could be a fly on the wall in her L's office when the feces hits the fan.

Take care of yourself jim.

Oh, (((Jim))) I'm so, so sorry.

I was trying to think of a name for her she's (cruella Deville)!

Cruelly sounds more upscale then this lady. What she did and how she is acting is plain wrong, and evil.

Not sure if the Devil himself has punishment for someone like this.

((((Jim)))) I'm so very sorry.