SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yes. What Catwoman and purple rose said.

Noting was ever enough.

We would buy something after tons of research but he would still be looking at the same item after it was already bought.

Big, huge red flag I missed.

Interesting observations about that always needing more thing.

WH has a thing for electronics/TVs etc. the new one will barely be free from its box and he will be talking about the next one he is going to get. I never understood that.

Right, my ex was a "things collector" she had so much stuff it took her four full days to move everything and there is still piles of junk in the attic and basement ive been slowly weeding through. She was and is a broken mess. Last night a friend of hers told me she was "having a hard time with the divorce" which was obviously her fishing for information. I told her i was not having a hard time. I was healing. And i didnt need my ex...was glad shes gone. The look was great, the friend was dumbfounded. Felt like pouring her a glass of kool aid.

It is interesting about what you all said about "stuff." Already STBWXH has bought a digital antenna, himself a new towel (we have plenty of towels that he is free to take with him. In fact, I gave a bunch to him on his way out the door), bathrobes from a fancy hotel that he stayed in in relation to his job, toys for my son, solar panels for the camper, and I'm sure there are many, many, more items that I don't know about. I've also been doing "inventory" of our household goods. All of "my stuff" is either inherited or used. All of "his stuff" is new. One of his chief complaints was that he was tired of our old, ugly, inherited bedroom furniture and that he wanted something more "modern." I never understood how broken he is until I read everyone's words. Thank you.

The lies and bullshit reasoning is the same in all the waywards. Whatever justifies their actions and makes them feel good knowing they are wrong. I have come to the conclusion my ex left our marraige years earlier and it was a slow painful death up to d day. The problems in our marraige after 19 years together were compounded ten fold at the end. Like a volcano ready to erupt. Then in a second it was all gone!! They can believe whatever bullshit they want we know the truth.

LOL...thats bullshit. I got the same mess after the first dday. So I made it a point to do differently in that regard. 2nd dday he finally said it had nothing to do with me.

Saying someone doesn't "meet your needs" or they want to "have sex more often" is vague. Unless they listed some stuff and you specifically said "hell no, I aint doing that.." then those statements are a set up for failure. A WS cant get mad their BS didnt give them what they wanted when they never said what they wanted in the first place.

[This message edited by NikkiD at 11:20 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]

I also remember when we were first married and would have sex, right afterward he would say, "ok, tomorrow let's try this, or this, or this". That's when I started backing away from him,, I thought, "can this guy every be satisfied?" But, had a new baby so I didn't try to get us any"help".

Fast forward to 2011,,,he told EVERYONE who suspected he was having an affair that he could not be having an affair because his D***K wouldn't work anymore. THEN,,, when it was proven he was having an affair, he told the exact same people that I hadn't had sex with him for years (the same time as exhibit A stopped working).

Everyone thinks he is a joke (OW wanted him, she's got him) LOL

:::raising hand:::: this was common with me too at time of separation and divorce

Wow.

The commonality between the WSs is shocking sometimes.

I truly wonder if I will ever know what a healthy sex life with appropriate boundaries looks like or if I will ever have the opportunity to experience it.

Nekorb, you're 44? Yeah, I think you'll get a chance to have a healthy sex life

I hope so, norabird.

Right now I can't even think about a relationship. I'm still in love with my WH. I'm still healing. I'm still fixing the things in myself that need fixing.

I'm not in a hurry. I'm taking "relationships" off the table until my kids are all graduated. (2016) I will re-evaluate then.