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Ivyivy (original poster member #42110) posted at 2:36 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
So I have been in limbo for 7 months since Dday. We have tried MC but so far that has been a complete waste of my time (MC was his IC and that was my mistake in agreeing). My WH is unhappy because I have not provided adequate support to deal with his medical issue since Dday (a few days post Dday he was diagnosed with a brain tumor (Karma)). I have tried to be supportive but he blocks me out - he is a physician and was in denial for quite a while - I had no information and I focused on my (and my kids) day to day. What kills me is that his family (3 brothers, one of them a twin) generally had zero information or input on anything to do with his health other than to tell me that he would die soon and I should take that into consideration and let him stay. We had another fight a few days ago when I again did not believe where he was (not that he was anywhere bad - just lying again). In any case, today he does the "I will move out." I have been asking him to do that for 7 months. He transferred money from our joint account. Guess what - still half mine at divorce time - no matter where you put it. So generally, WH is being a dick again. I wanted a divorce from Dday but could not push because I was being told that he would likely be dead within 6 months. I have been through hell trying to keep it together for the kids. At this point I am only in contact with one of his brothers (the one that did not put the "you owe him" shit on me after the affair). I have not spoken to his parents in 7 months (not that we were particularly close before).
In so many ways, I am fine if he finally moves out. I just cannot deal with what he did to me and the kids. But then there is the unknown. Thankfully, even without his financial support, I can make it with the kids (odd that I have always worked full time and never relied on his support).
Just nee some support right now - that's it.
Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16
TrustedHer ( member #23328) posted at 3:58 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 8:18 AM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
I think any change out of limbo will be good (you have been manipulated by this threat of his death while not being given full info IMO) though I understand the fear of the unknown. It is not as scary as it seems though--after all, it's absolutely true you will be fine. The details will work themselves out but that truth remains.
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