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peacelovetea ( member #26071) posted at 4:00 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014
Also consider that his alcohol withdrawal may be playing into this situation. He may have been more addicted than you think, or addicted to other substances you did not know about. Definitely talk to the docs about what you've said here.
{{hugs}} How sad and scary for you.
BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:22 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014
He is a functioning alcoholic, so some alcohol withdrawal.
^^^^THIS^^^^ is most likely your biggest culprit. Having been an ICU nurse for over a decade I can tell you that this can slow healing and recovery from illness and injury much longer than any of us care to imagine.
I have had patients that are so confused and combative that we literally have to keep the sedated and on ventilators for a month until they have completed withdrawl, and have some other med on board to control the anxiety that they were self medicating for prior to whatever incident landed them there. That being said your brother's partner (I am assuming you mean life not work) needs to tell the staff exactly how much he was drinking prior to admission and if he was utilizing any other substances, including but not limited pot, and prescription meds, even if they were not his.
The Librium is a good start to help with the withdrawl, but can take a while to get therapeutic. Hang in there.
There is also a combination of factors that happen to cause ICU/Hospital psychosis, including lack of regular sleep, pain meds, anesthesia, and just being sick that can happen even in the most sound of mind people. Steroids can make this even worse, and given what he is going through, he may be on steroids, so I would ask that question, and see if he can be weaned off of those.
But most of all take this to heart, and ease your angst. You brother will not remember 99% of this when he recovers. He will not be aware of the amount of time that went by, and how completely out of his mind he was while he was. That is a great thing. While it's hard for you to deal with he won't even realize the angst he has caused. IT's just how it works, and honestly that is a good thing.
Be gentle and kind, and just try to remind your brother of where he is and what he is supposed to be doing, but if he fights you on it redirect and change the subject. Ask what the weather is, what he had to eat that morning, anything. If he has some level of cognition that he is confused arguing with him just increases the anxiety, and cause patients to cycle and ramp up the frustration.
(((((SMS and Bro)))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 2:55 AM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
Your brother sounds delirious. This could be from alcohol withdrawl, the drugs he's on, an infection, a stroke or the fact he was in ICU so long.
You need to ask the doctor to actually LOOK INTO it.
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 7:58 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
Could some bone marrow have leaked into his blood stream from the amputation? (I know nothing about surgery, if that is even possible)
I know that sometimes when a bone fractures, bone marrow can get into the blood stream, and can then cause delusional behavior.
But, the alcohol withdrawals sounds like the biggest culprit.
(((((Sister)))))))
I'm so sorry. You must feel so helpless being far away from your brother and unable to do more than just speak on the phone.
The helplessness is terrible.
Dr. PJ makes a good suggestion, to get his doctor to LOOK INTO this situation. Do you have the doctor's information? Can you get in touch? Are you a HIPAA released person on your brother's file?
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 8:46 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
(((((sms))))) Sending you and your family strength, hon. This is a lot to process, and I know how helpless it can feel to be far away while the crap is hitting the fan.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 10:00 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
Failure is success if we learn from it.
cantbelieve ( member #22028) posted at 10:38 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
My BIL had 2 surgeries several days apart and he was totally out of it. They had to restrain him because he kept trying to pull every tube out. He was in ICU for about 7 days while they tried to wean him off. Those meds can do horrendous things to your body and mind. Hang tight, he will come out of it.
Me: BS (61)
Him: WS (61)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
DS(30)
DD(26)
DD(23)
Married 32 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 11:13 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014
Sending prayers to you, your brother and your family.
(((sms)))
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 1:59 AM on Saturday, March 15th, 2014
Very sorry to hear it SMS. Wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your brother.
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 2:13 AM on Saturday, March 15th, 2014
My heart breaks for you both. I wish you both all the best in healing.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
SisterMilkshake (original poster member #30024) posted at 7:51 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Thanks all for your hugs and kindness. I so appreciate them.
pj4, yes, our oldest sister realized this isn't normal at about the same time I posted originally. It all came to head last week when my poor brother tried to stab a poor nurse with a pencil because he thought she was someone evil coming to do him harm.
He is back in the hospital being tested for many things. It has been a long process. Today my sister and the doctor visited with my brother for over an hour. He seemed mostly "normal", but seeming to be focused a lot of when he lived in Florida which was about 15 years ago. He did live there for a long time.
A lot has been ruled out. No alzheimers, no infections, not a drug reaction. Unfortunately, what they are thinking my brother has isn't good. It is called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome. From what I have read, it is pretty dismal and most likely he will not fully recover. It is a result of damage from chronic alcohol abuse.
He is a very sweet, kind, generous man with what little he has. Always willing to lend a helping hand. He doesn't deserve this, although it was caused by his self destructive behaviours.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:59 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
I'm glad he's getting diagnostic attention. I hope they find the cause for his loss of intellectual functionality and that it's something easily resolved.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:03 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Double check that they are giving him DOUBLE STRENGTH thiamine replacement. Usually we give 100mg a day to alcoholics but if you actually have that syndrome it has to be 200mg a day.
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 9:15 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
SisterMilkshake (original poster member #30024) posted at 9:42 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Thanks so much pj4 for that info on thiamine. I will be talking to big sis this evening. Have you seen pretty good results in your patients? Or, not so much? What I have been reading is not optimistic on full recovery.
Big Sis is the one that really needs the hugs and prayers. She has had to make tough decisions. It must be so painful for her to see our brother in this condition.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Oh sister, I am so sorry!
My stepmother is a HUGE functioning Alcoholic and she had drank so much one day that my dad had to rush her to the ER when he came home from work, her liver is shot and they had to put in a coma because of it. Anyways, she now has Dementia, not very bad yet but she forgets everything,repeats herself, asks the same question that she just asked, can get violent and I am scared for my dad. It is sad what it can do to you that we never really think of.
Could your brother might have something like that?
My heart goes out to you.
BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
SisterMilkshake (original poster member #30024) posted at 10:22 PM on Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Yes, Faithful, it could be something along the lines of some form of brain damage. I believe his organs are fine, though.
My heart goes out to your father and your stepmom. I am sure it isn't easy for either of them. I am sorry that you have concerns for your fathers safety.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 12:00 AM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Could be meds or it could also be he threw a clot and suffered a stroke or aneurism.
You need to talk to his doctors, pronto.
SisterMilkshake (original poster member #30024) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014
No strokes, or aneurism, Mousse. They amputated his leg below the knee because of blood clots. I think they ruled that out, too.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
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