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Holy cow, his behavior is freaking me out.

He is in a NPD rage over the fact he is not receiving the huge cash settlement from his motions to modify CS, SS, and parenting time.

He is working overtime to manipulate the kids (18 and 17). Got older to agree to testify against me...which is just pure evil in my mind. How would she ever recover from something like that?

Any way, I am triggering pretty bad. I feel sick to my stomach as I don't like being painted as a bad person --- horrible self absorbed hurtful mother.

As I type this I see his projection. The intensity of his hatred toward me is scary. The mask is all the way off.

I need to find my center again.

This too will pass...This too will pass....

Wait - the testifying is back on? I thought it was off?

What does your L say? Can you have your own character witnesses?

NPD has her in his trap - he doesn't care what damage he does to her. She won't see it until it's way too late. If she's an NPD too she will never see it.

Take comfort that his rage means you have him backed into a corner like the feral animal that he is.

You know he truth - you can prove it. I hope you have file notes of all the manipulation. They are young adults now - if your DD does this you have to know she is choosing it. Manipulation or not if she is lying or embellishing then she is perjuring herself. Consciously.

Don't borrow trouble. Find your centre.

The Mamma hurt? I have no solution for it. ((Chrysalis))

((((Chrysalis))))

{{{{ C-123 }}}}

It's scary as hell when you see them rage, isn't it? We know in our gut what we fear they are capable of, and it ain't pretty.

As far as the children are concerned, I hope you have a good therapist to bounce it all off of. Mine helps me TONS. So much of my old ways of being were not going to work following my standing up to FT X. I had to get to a place of acceptance of the fact that FT was going to work hard to undermine my relationship with the children. There was no doubt in my mind that he would. I knew a "he said/she said" argument would play into his hands. He's a master liar, and I am not. So I didn't play his game. I merely answered the children's questions when they asked. I never denigrated him, and I never used the huge mounds of ammunition I could have, as his behavior was so atrocious.

Once I accepted that I would most likely lose the children to his lies for a time (two trusted people told me this), I was more peaceful about it. I was told the children would come back to me, that it might take years, but that they would. It did turn out that they have. It's been painful but we've gotten through a lot.

Let the NPD self-destruct. Show the children peaceful instead. Show them that you are moving on with your life. The contrast between the two of you will shine for them. I know mine are affected by FT's manipulations (abuse) in their own lives. I can't tell them that, but I make sure they know that I have found help for myself in Al-Anon and therapy. I no longer live in the murkiness that was life with FT. I live in peace and honesty. It's sorta' like daylight, and X can't stand the light of day.

The intensity of his hatred toward me is scary.

edited to add: Do everything you can to keep yourself safe. And document whatever you can for future reference if you need a restraining order.

[This message edited by Compartmented at 9:55 AM, March 24th (Monday)]

I'm sorry. (((Chrysalis))))

Better his rage than his getting the cash. He expresses it out of frustration and helplessness, like a child having a tantrum.