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Divorce/Separation :
How do I get passed the anger

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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 3:50 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

Soo yesterday was ex's birthday.9 times out of ten he misses or is late for visitation.But no, not yesterday,it was showtime.He took dd to dinner with OW and her family so Im sure he was super dad.He is to have her from 10:00 am til 7:00 pm on Sunday..he gets no overnights.He had her from one until five and he called me to meet him for the exchange.When I met him,ow was driving and pulled in with this smug look on her face.I wanted to rip her out of the car.I could feel myself getting so angry.I hate them both!!! Does it ever get better??? Does the anger ever go away? I hate her being with my dd.

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6742414
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 5:09 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

Sure, he's super dad...when he shows up. You are the real parent, the reliable one. It sucks that he gets to feel like he's so great for, gee, four hours...but surely he knows that it's only a facade. Your DD surely knows this too, and as she gets older, the visitation/relationship will shift onto her and away from you.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6742530
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 6:52 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

Why on earth would OW have a smug look on her face?

Doesn't she know she is with a lying, cheating, POS? Oh, wait....

Yes it does get better. Time helps buy it's also what you do with that time. Do you think she won? Not from where I'm standing. What are you doing for you? What are you doing to stop letting either of them take up headspace?

I can't say it helps when it comes to watching your kids be either ignored or used in his bullshit 'good guy' act or with having OW around them. I can say it stings less as time goes on.

Anger is a cover emotion for hurt. I don't get angry much anymore except when it comes to my girls. I don't think I'll ever stop being hurt/angry for them.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6742647
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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

Thank you.Sometimes I forget that's she is only 7 and still loves her daddy.But I do wonder if she realizes or eventually will realize he is pretty much worthles.I just get sooo damn angry when I see the ex and the OW and they don't see the destruction they have caused.I don't know how to push back the anger.He ruined my credit by using credit cards in my name,humilated me,destroyed my little girls intact family and destroyed our marriage over a piece of garbage.

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6742652
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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 6:59 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

SBB,Thank you for the reply.Yes I realize she won...she won the booby prize. Usually they don't take up my headspace...usually I can handle drop offs but when the skank OW is there I want to explode!Everyone says be the bigger person,ignore her but damn I want to punch her in the face! lol.

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6742658
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Caretaker1 ( member #42777) posted at 7:01 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

It's very hurtful. It's also like high school and adults that act this way are jackasses. I will be in the same boat. I've already been mocked. Two peas in a pod. People say don't wish for karma. Oh please.

A man that dates a woman that is fresh off a separation and is already working on the engagement when the divorce is still pending is a tool. I wish these two tools get what they deserve. I have way too much drama and chaos in my life that I never imagined. At some point, you will know your limits. Why did you pick them up if he had them until 7. Ask for curbside drop offs. Stick to the decree. Reduce your interactions with them via face to face, email, texts, or phone. Do things that make you happy. It is a shitty life I agree, but it's our harsh reality.

[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 1:01 PM, March 31st (Monday)]

posts: 234   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2014
id 6742660
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