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General :
Do I confront now?

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 mandolin555 (original poster member #42476) posted at 11:24 PM on Saturday, April 5th, 2014

He has wrecked my self worth. As we speak I am on my 3rd walk of the day with a sprained ankle on 1200 calories...desperate to be his ideal again...but then I remember that I've never been good enough. So it's all vicious, really

posts: 104   ·   registered: Feb. 16th, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 6749357
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LovelyDaffodils ( member #42822) posted at 12:27 AM on Sunday, April 6th, 2014

Well, I didn't have the constant put downs to deal with. I know he knew better than that. But he really didn't have to say much, as I just never felt good enough anyway. Not to be shallow and all about looks, but we were-still are an attractive couple. I'd say, 8 as well.

I felt we wasted so many years not communicating. Like he never really opened up to me. Now I know it's because he probably was hiding things all along.

Before we were married, but in supposed committed 8 year relationship, he met someone (younger than him), was going to leave me for her. I moved out, got a new job, was halfway gone. But I was afraid of losing him, so I begged, made of fool of myself and he took me back and ended it with the OP. I was so wrong... He should have have been the one to beg for me to come back... I know that now. And I know he wouldn't have, which would have given me my life to find a happier relationship.

Realize the age difference makes it hard. He is not as mature as you-even though you are not kids, it is still true.

Truly if you think that you will lose him over not looking a certain way, do you really want him? Surely there are men that will find that you have more to offer than that!

BS me 51
WS 44
OW easy NSA he told he was single
9 mo A
DDay 1/3/14
TT 2 wks later
still waiting for the rest
Married 13 yrs
Together 22
In house S Limbo

posts: 79   ·   registered: Mar. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6749427
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:12 AM on Sunday, April 6th, 2014

Ok this is going to be a not so gentle 2x4.

WTF are you doing? You have two other kids that are witnessing the destruction of their mother?!?

You need no more proof and no more reason. You are caught in the cycle of mental abuse and feel there is no way out. There is always a way out. You kids deserve so much more than a mom who doubts her worth, is treated like a second class citizen and struggles to demand the respect she deserves.

If you don't do it for you then do it for that new baby and your other children. You have been emotionally destroyed you have to figure your worth and learn to be happy on your own. Once you accomplish this you will no longer see the need to tolerate this abuse.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 21 &23
Married for 28 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19099   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6749521
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idkam ( member #18375) posted at 3:18 AM on Sunday, April 6th, 2014

I imagine myself growing old and less attractive and lonely with failing health (I'm healthy now so I have no idea where this comes from) and that he'll have some 20 years younger than me.

Sorry to be a Debbie downer but he could be with someone 20 years younger now. How would you know?

I'm sorry that you are in this place.

2015 It's time to get Fit, Fine, and more Fabulous. Come and join me.

posts: 2046   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 6749593
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