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My daughter is involved in a dcs investigation

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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 1:18 AM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

(((DD & other little girl)))

I'm so sorry, Jana. I was molested and raped by my cousin and two boys who were like my brothers. I felt guilty, like it was my fault, so I never told anyone. I was 27 before I told anyone besides my h...that was when I told my mom. My heart breaks for your DD and the other little girl

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 6757550
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abbycadabby ( member #27428) posted at 4:51 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

(((ALL in this thread who have experienced this)))

I was molested at a young age (can't really remember how old- maybe I was between 5 to 7 years old? Memory is hazy here and I need to ask my mom how old I was when I stayed with that lady) by teenage grandsons of a former child care provider.

I felt guilty, like it was my fault, so I never told anyone. I was 27 before I told anyone besides my h...that was when I told my mom.

Yeah. See, I had agreed to be one of the twins' girlfriend. He said that that was what boyfriends and girlfriends do. Looking back, what he did was wrong wrong wrong and I was in no way to blame for what happened, but at the time I felt complicit in the act(s) by agreeing to be his girlfriend. I didn't tell anyone besides my sister who also experienced this mess, until I was early twenties(??) and that was my mom. I never received therapy and the damage has been pervasive and difficult to work through. I started seeing an IC last year but haven't been back in awhile. She was very helpful but I just became too busy.

I would very strongly urge getting your daughter some therapy. Work with CPS who should have trained professionals (social workers) to help you deal with this; ask them what resources are available to you to help you help your daughter navigate things. I would suggest IC for yourself as well.

(((Jana and girls)))

WHERE'S THE PUDDING?!

posts: 1830   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2010
id 6758873
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 JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 2:05 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

mama and abby, I am so very very sorry that happened to you. Just seeing the fear that my daughter had that she would be in trouble - she told me "don't tell on me" to the director, because she was afraid she'd be in trouble. Nobody has ever given her the impression that she'd be in trouble for speaking up about anything. If she's taking blame on herself, I can't imagine how it would be for children in your position who were being actively manipulated by someone older - to overcome that and tell - I can't even imagine how hard that would be for a child. It breaks my heart. I'm so very sorry.

My DD went back to school yesterday and settled very smoothly back into the swing of things. Today is the Easter Egg Hunt so all the kids are very excited. Yesterday was very positive and I expect today will be, too.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6759992
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