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Guinness23 (original poster member #42852) posted at 2:59 AM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
Aunt Guinness
LOL... how sad but that's me.
Yes, my niece is an amazing woman. Just this evening I remembered holding her as a newborn when I was 23 wondering what she would accomplish in life. Now I know. I love her more than words can say. I love her brother and her sister as well as her 3 cousins from my other sister. I just wish I could have given all of them cousins,too. Everything I have tried has failed.
Me 48
Divorced 2010
1."'FOREVER' in love" lasts only 14 years.
2. Alcohol is NO solution just a bigger problem
My favorite drink is water. Call me Dasani23
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 5:40 AM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
Oh Guinness! You may say the comments are being heard but this notion of your failing makes me think they're not getting through enough!
More loving 2x4s. Stop seeing yourself as a failure. Your niece does not care that she doesn't have Guinness cousins. She has YOU. And you have you too!!!! Don't discount that. Are people only valuable if they produce cousins in the world? What kind of weird Orwellian Dystopian society would that be?
Please learn to be kinder to yourself! Who does it benefit that you feel this way? Not you! Not your family! Not all these poor impassioned SI members trying to get through to you that you have value just as you are!
Look in the mirror and say: I have worth. I am not a failure. I can still make a good life for myself. I DESERVE a good life and am capable of it.
Can you do that for me? Can you love yourself again? What if you were looking at your niece and she said she was a failure. Wouldn't you want to comfort her? Can't you extend that kindness to yourself?
Guinness23 (original poster member #42852) posted at 8:14 AM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
Oh Guinness! You may say the comments are being heard but this notion of your failing makes me think they're not getting through enough!
I read them...but you are probably right. The full weight of them are not resonating with me.
I was bullied in grade school. Brought up to NEVER trust people yet alone have a friend. My view of people is off the charts. I have been sick with this all my life. Astrologically speaking, I am a Gemini. I mention that because being the sign of the twins, I also have two personalities: strong and very, very weak. Right now, the weak one is taking me over.
All I see is how Aunt Guinness failed.
Me 48
Divorced 2010
1."'FOREVER' in love" lasts only 14 years.
2. Alcohol is NO solution just a bigger problem
My favorite drink is water. Call me Dasani23
Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 2:55 PM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
Well Aunt Guiness, I can completely relate to how you are feeling. And don't think having children makes it easier. Last Christmas my daughter once again put seeing me for the holidays at the very bottom of the list. She actually told me that since it was just me, visiting my house was never going to be a priority because everyone else in their families was remarried and had other kids, so I'm the "fit her in if there's time" family member. I cried for three days.
Just because you are alone it doesn't mean you're a failure though. And I agree with the others that you shouldn't compare yourself to a 23 year old. Their lives look all wonderful right now. See where they are in another 30 years. No one is immune to what we've encountered. No one.
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