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deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 6:58 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
I am fed up and filing. I am not even upset about it, but relieved. What is that??? Been leaning this way more and more lately, but now I just know I want it. Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind. Called the attorney to file. I am keeping it from the kids until after my daughter graduates in a few weeks.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:03 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
When you're done, you're done. Sending you strength, especially for the next few weeks with all you have going on. ((((deena))))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
I agree with NIK.
When I was done, I was done.
Like you, I wasn't even upset at that point. I calmly told XWH that I wanted out and that he needed to find somewhere else to live.
I think my tone and matter-of-fact expression told HIM I was done too. He looked scared for a change (instead of smug).
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Merlin ( member #30221) posted at 7:12 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
You made the decision. You took action.
Now it's process.
Congratulations!
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 7:23 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
I filed because Ww wouldnt follow healthy boundries. Once you file ur M is less emotion andmore business transaction
I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 8:23 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
Having my "That's it, I'm done" moment was a relief. I never wavered after that, never changed my mind, never had a doubt.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
MadeOfScars ( member #42231) posted at 10:09 PM on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
I thought my D was going to finalize last Thursday only to be derailed by paperwork snafu that my lawyer, in all her years in family law, had never seen happen. That snafu would postpone my D finalization another 10 days. My reaction to getting this news was very telling to me - I was angry and frustrated for it NOT being over, and not in any way "relieved."
A buddy of mine's wife said something after learning of this that, in her mind, was meant to be encouraging, misguided as it was. She said "maybe it being postponed is a sign that you and her aren't supposed to go through with this." It took every ounce of my being to not tell her how ridiculous that was. Those words have also not crept into my mind to build a nest of false hope of a last-minute plea for R from my stbxww. Many such nests have occupied my head earlier in this journey, but they are no longer welcome.
As has been stated, when you're done, you're done.
((deena04))
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 1:29 AM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind.
I kicked him out and filed for D the first time he cheated because he wouldn't stop seeing the ow. I wanted R but only if he dumped her and fully committed. He did what I asked. I stopped the divorce and he became the perfect FWH in every respect.
Ten years later, he's out looking again. You bet I felt "strongly." There was no second guessing, no hesitation, no doubt....I was done and am unequivocally certain I will NOT change my mind.
Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
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