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Divorce/Separation :
It just never ends

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 ThisHell (original poster member #37089) posted at 4:35 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014

So I try to keep convos to a minimum and text rather than talk, but XH complains my texts come in all scrambled and when important things come up he just calls. So I texted that summer was approaching and working on child care as I will be opening the salon early June and working. My sister can keep my voice to our three days of the week but not all five so there are two days I need care. I was letting him know I would be looking into various options and let him know since we are supposed to split those costs 50/50.

Finances are tight for both of us so I do understand that but of course he calls to discuss the issue. He goes on and on about how he's already paying me more than he should have to and child support plus spousal support I shouldn't even be getting anymore "with what I am doing" can cover it. Ugh. He acts like because I have a SO that is around often than that counts as living together and he shouldn't have to pay me alimony. He does stay over on some evenings when my kids are at their dads but for gods sake. He doesn't live with me. Has his own apartment. He is often over after work for a bit but when the heck else are we to discuss business stuff for this new salon otherwise?!

He tells me, and this is the funny part, that we're gonna have to sit down and amend our agreement because he's tired of paying me more than he should have to. Um, jackass, he had a year and a half of separation to figure out your finances and income and our divorce has only been final for 6 months. Seriously? I trusted him and didn't require income verification then, but I'm benign the bitchy ex wife if I make him get "all legal" about it instead of just letting him tell me what he can afford I told him if he felt the need to ask for changes or modification then he can go thru the proper channels just like everyone else....so I'm the bitchy ex wife again. Lol

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6773455
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MadeOfScars ( member #42231) posted at 4:56 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014

It's always about them, isn't it?

If you're the "bitchy ex wife," maybe tell him "well, you made it this way." I know, it won't do any good, but still...

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli

posts: 3219   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6773497
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 ThisHell (original poster member #37089) posted at 5:21 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014

lol, I know. At this point I find it funny really. I just "reminded" him that he was the one that told me what his income was. I never required financial documentation, just went on HIS word. Perhaps he should have figured his shit out before signing our agreement and letting that be put into the decree. But at this point, I am not willing so soon after finally finalizing to change things once again, just on his "word". I just told him if he had any issues to address, he could do what everyone else has to do and file with the court. But he doesn't get to just say, oh sorry I don't feel like paying you anymore because "I" think you spend too much time with your boyfriend... if the COURTS feel that way, then we'll adjust things as THEY see fit. Poor muffin...

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6773549
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 5:53 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014

goes on and on about how he's already paying me more than he should have to and child support plus spousal support I shouldn't even be getting anymore

So he's a frigging saint for GIVING you all this money? Dude, you earned every fucking penny.

[This message edited by Pass at 11:54 AM, April 25th, 2014 (Friday)]

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6773619
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